If I follow your analogy, my response would be this:
In my own place, I prepare an ice cream sundae and yes, I spit on it. Some of my customers enjoy this; they actually like it. And yes, people like that do exist.
Most importantly, we clearly tell every customer who orders the sundae, right from the start, that it is spat on. This is part of the recipe and the experience we are offering. Nothing is hidden and no one is being deceived.
So the real question is why someone who dislikes this would still choose to eat it. And even if they don’t, why they feel the need to demand that this place be shut down immediately and that this product should no longer be sold to others who knowingly enjoy it.
I hadn't planned on responding again, but this example you gave made me think a bit. And I'd like to try to expand your own example to perhaps give some more thoughts if that's okay.
Say you have a ice cream shop (the AVN) and in it there is lots of ice cream (sexual stuff) and one thing you offer among all the types of ice cream is a sundae with spit (NTR), but you also offer ice cream without spit (because you say the NTR is optional). That means that some people come in and say, "I'd like some ice cream without spit please." But when they get it and take a bite they taste spit in it, or it has spit residue on it when they look it over, or some spit got on the side of the cup and so they aren't sure if any might be inside the ice cream. Or maybe their ice cream was half the size of the spit sundae but no where did it say that the spit sundae was bigger. All of that could still cause problems and make people feel bad about their experience. They would feel like you just didn't care about them because they weren't the "main" customers getting the spit sundae, you basically just tossed them a bone, gave the bare minimum effort, or maybe even tricked them by "promising" a n option without spit but it came with spit anyway, or they feel like you "half-assed" it and gave them left overs.
Saying, "The NTR is optional," makes it seem like the NTR is secondary, like it is an added topping that can be removed without losing all that much but one topping. So the bulk of the experience remains. This would be different than saying, "This is an NTR game but we have some bits of vanilla content that can be seen while avoiding the primary NTR content." So when someone takes that at face value, "NTR is avoidable/optional," and thus the minor, or at most equal, to vanilla content but then either gets hit with unavoidable NTR, NTR bleed over, or NTR as the major content and they get a few scraps, they may feel like they got duped. Interestingly, this is often why sometimes even NTR fans get upset at games that are labeled as having NTR (even optional) but then don't have what they consider NTR or it is only one or two small scenes of NTR out of the whole project. They get the "spit sundae," but there was so little spit that it feels like it wasn't even worth the effort and time of eating it. Or worse (in their minds) it wasn't even real spit but imitation spit, like expecting a juice cheese burger but getting some veggie burger with fake cheese instead.
This is part of why even some NTR fans (and the majority of vanilla fans) will often say it's better to just pick a lane because you probably won't end up pleasing either group and will leave both feeling like they got the short end of the stick.
This is also a funny analogy (if taken more literally) because even if people consent for themselves to eating food with spit in it, there are often regulation that would still get such a shop shut down. And some people might see it as the shop owner trying to spread illness or taking advantage of people who are mentally ill and willing to "eat spit," from a stranger. While this is obviously taking the analogy too far, it is funny to consider that even the existence of a "spit sundae," would be problematic for a shop and could get the shop shut down even if the shop owner was upfront about it and all the customers agreed to partake.
Anyway, just wanted to dip back in and give a few new thoughts, peace all,
