My dear Netorarers and Netorarettes.
Inn My Wife is one little special gem. Yes, it is short. But so are many things in life. A bug's life. A mouse. Danny Devito. My penis. All short. BUT, sometimes being short means perfection! It's all a matter of how you use it! And that is why Danny Devito is such a great actor.
Just with the title, I love this game. Inn My Wife. It talks to you. It can mean so many things: "I have an Inn and this is My Wife", or maybe it's more of a "I want to know what's IN my wife; what are her desires and what's in her heart", or maybe it's some kind of duel: "the Inn vs My Wife, who do I love the most?". Or maybe it's just that some other guy is going to be IN her, fucking her brains out while you patiently - and cuckoldly - roll your thumbs in the next room, watching the pendulum clock telling you it might be time... to kill yourself.
You take the role of the cucklord Danang who happens to be the owner of the inn and have to cope with the fact that you need money because you spent too much time playing H games and writing unexplicably long reviews on F95zone. You have a solution: sell your wife for a night... or maybe more. Of course, you could just sell the inn, or maybe find a new partner to invest in it, or just learn about credit margins but hey, this is hentai world! So, your wife agrees to whore herself out and voila, you end up almost escorting her to the room of an old childhood friend who will take her away from you, one thrust at a time!
In the meantime, you will tidy up the inn by picking up trash and cleaning black spots on the floor ( I think there's a chimney sweep house invader at large ). Whenever you find a dirt spot, you earn coins. You can't do shit with the money, though. You can't buy anything and you can't improve the state of the inn either. Can't even buy yourself a coffee. Not even an empty coffee cup. Not even one grain of godddamn coffee. The coins are absolutely worthless. You'd have more luck buying something with Monopoly money. The best part is when you wake up one morning and visit the guy who fucked your wife and scrub his sperm off the floor! And it STILL gives you coins. COINS! Coins from a sperm stain. My theory is that Kirk ( the guy who is stealing your wife ) is somehow related to King Midas.
Edit: Maybe that's how he managed to buy sexy time with your wife - by fapping every day and collecting the coins coming out of his sperm!
So, eventually, the wife begins to fall for Mr. Bigger Dick Than Yours. I will spare you from the "ending" if there is any. Actually, you'll be wondering whether or not you truly ended the game, for real. It is shorter than a frozen hobbit's micropenis. What the hell!? Why end it so quickly when you had something great going on, man? Why not make a damn sequel, at least? Something? Anything? Playing this game is like going on a huge, brand new roller coaster and riding up to the top of the highest part of it and then the fucking roller coaster shuts down and the kid behind you starts crying and you wait for 45 minutes until finally they find a way to get you off of the stupid thing and they shut the whole damn place down because it's closing time and you can never go back because you have terminal cancer and it was the only time you could go out with your family and now you go back to the palliative sector of the hospital with a big ball of sadness in your throat knowing this life wants to kick you out without giving you any form of pleasure beforehand.
DAMMIT.
What I learned from this game:
- Now we all know what Elsa from Frozen turned out to do with her life after the movie.
- If you ever own an inn, think about savings.
- If you ever end up in a netorare universe, it's best not to ask your wife if your dick feels better than some other guy who rammed her right before you.
- There's a much wider variety of onomatopoeia you can use to describe sex in hentai. Among my favorite "lines": "Nn NNN Juru Ju Chu", "KUCHUKUCHU", "NUCHUNU", "DOCHU! DOCHU! BYURURU!", "Zuchu! Zuchu! Zuchu" and last but not least "Plap Plap Plap Plap". Sounds more like some kind of primitive alien dialect, but whatever.
