- Jan 18, 2021
- 356
- 650
It has been several months since I reported some typos here and on Discord, so here is an update for 0.59, in alphabetical order of the corresponding passages:
- In the passage "daniellemall", the narration says: "You advice her to try and get herself relaxed, so she leans on the bed and tries her best to do that." -> You advise her
- Same passage, next paragraph: "After getting it wet, you start by sticking the tip of your cock in, she reacts immediately, and you decide to take is very slow." -> to take it (also, this sentence is a bit long with three commas - it would be better to replace one of the commas by a full stop)
- Same passage, a few paragraphs later: "The proof that is enjoying it, is that as soon as you take your hand away, she continues doing that on her own." -> proof that she is enjoying it
- Again a few paragraphs later: "Danielle words help sending you over the edge." -> Danielle's words
- In the passage "francineapa", the words are in the wrong order in: "Not even a minute later, she decides to no waste more time, you're not going to get any harder than this."
- In the passage "francinelib", the narration says: "She sees the disappointment in your eyes, and feel a bit guilty about shutting you down." -> and feels a bit guilty
- In the passage "frascene", "that" is probably not needed in: "In the end, that hearing her beg for it helps you to actually come."
- In the passage "janeapajane", at the end of the friendly visit: "It would have been a way more relaxing experience if you didn't pass most of it with an hard dick." -> with a hard dick.
- In the passage "laylagym": "Layla competitive spirit quickly kickes in." -> Layla's competitive spirit quickly kicks in.
- A few lines below, Layla says: "You just exposed me though, that easy..." I am not sure if it should be "that's easy" or if she just speaks like that.
- In the passage "melanieroom" if you try to blackmail her: "Melanie interrupts you, she stop looking at you in the eyes, and asks you to come inside her room, you follow her, It's a nice room, a lot of stuff in there is pink, and it smells nice" -> she stops looking (also, it would be better to have full stops instead of commas before and after "you follow her")
- In the passage "melaniescene", the narration says: "She bring you in the other room, there's somewhat of a pink light, her bed is also pink, it's a pretty trashy environment, pretty much like her personality, but you're here for something else" -> She brings you
- In the passage "mspjan", Jane says: "I don't want my grades to improve just because on that" -> because of that
- Same passage, a few lines below: "You ring her, and she opens it for you. as soon as the door opens, Ms. Pearl eyes dart towards Jane" -> As soon as / Ms. Pearl's eyes
- A few lines below, I am not sure about the "for" in: "After a while, Ms. Pearl is the first of them that demands for your dick."
- Two paragraphs later: "Ms. Pearl than starts riding you, while your friend starts licking one of her boobs." -> then starts
- In the passage "msbloomoffice", the accent is incorrect in: "You decide that the time is ripe to try and flirt with her, she's a mature woman, and you try your luck with some sexually loaded clichè pickup line." -> cliché
- A few lines below, Ms. Bloom says: "But You need to work on your self control, or you're going to get in trouble" -> But you need
- Later in the same passage: "She lays down on her desk, and spread her legs in front of you." -> and spreads her
- Later again in the same passage: "This really gets to her, she's taken over by lust and starts saying things that you never expected to her from her." -> to hear from her.
- And later again: "It really is a glorious sight, you would have never imagine to bring her to this point." -> never imagined bringing her to
- At the end of that scene, why are there some question marks in: "??? Your lust decreased by 40"?
- In the passage "xianggaming", the narration says: "You now allow yourself to come as well. So You keep fucking her until your orgasm is inevitable, and you pull out just in time to spurt your jizz on her stomach." -> So you keep fucking
- Same page, just before the end: "You are really affecting Xiang dirty mind in ways you weren't even hoping for." -> Xiang's dirty mind
- In the passage "xiazoe", Xiang says: "Can't we just tie her up and force them to watch?" -> and force her
- Later in that page, the narration says: "She mounts on top of you and brings your cock on her entrance" but it would be better to write "to her entrance" considering that she is on top.
- In the passage "xmas" with Katrina, around the middle of the page: "She acts like she'se been waiting for this moment, and quickly takes it in her mouth." -> like she's been
- In the passage "xmas" with Rose: "If feel amazing, her eyes locked into your as you pump your dick down her throat." -> It feels amazing
- Near the end of that scene: "You then get cleaned and dressed up again enough to enjoye the meal Rose prepared for the both of you." -> to enjoy the meal
- In the passage "xmas" with Zoe: "After she's done sucking, she justs climb on you and starts riding your dick." -> she just climbs on you
- And a few lines below: "This eventually bring Zoe to another orgasm, and you follow her up quickly yourself." -> eventually brings Zoe