Oh I think you misunderstood what I wrote or maybe I phrased it poorly. The reason I am not going to put an option for it into the game is because I don't want to design around grapple attacks in the future. Putting in an option would defeat the purpose of changing the system in the first place. Hope that makes it more clear. ^^
I'm a little confused as to what attacks couldn't lead, in some way, to a grapple. I may just not be able to think of such an enemy right now, so please give any insight that you can without spoiling unrevealed story. But you've already demonstrated with the kobolds how ranged attacks can still lead to a grapple. Maybe you want to get rid of the stun mechanic, but frankly I don't see any problems with it. The only ranged situation I can see where grappling becomes a problem is where the ranged enemy, in running to a stunned Kincaid, compromises the enemy's position, making it an easy KO after grapple or recover. This may take some thinking outside the box, but there are still some mechanics that could circumvent this problem. For example, this enemy, depending on its tech level, may use either teleportation or a smoke bomb to return to its vantage point after grapple or after the player recovers from stun. Now, this does qualify as designing around grapple attacks, but I think unique details like this could improve player experience, even if it is at the expense of the developer.
Honestly, I don't see a problem with any random melee attack leading immediately into a grapple, or any random ranged attack leading into a stun which leads into a grapple. Essentially, I don't think enemies need to be like the tiger, where they have an attack (the pounce) that is obviously for grappling. I think you mentioned at some point the issue of giving the kobold boss a grapple attack. It could just be like the wolf boss, and any one of his attacks could turn into a grapple. Maybe his tornado attack turns into a grapple on hit, or maybe the falling rocks stun the player. Point is, not every enemy needs a specific "grab" attack that cleanly transitions into a grapple. Sure, that would be a nice detail, but it isn't expected of an indie porn game dev nor is it necessary to get off.
TLDR: designing around grapple attacks doesn't seem to be necessary because any attack could lead into a grapple.