First, who is the women programmer? Can they run on java? Did mother nature forgot to put free will module inside of them? Second, how is all of this is applied to the porn?
No, the Mother Nature played an even more malicious trick on us. It's called sexual reproduction and it assymetrical by design.
I know many an IT geeks would love to see sexuality as some sort of highly custimzable AAA game, with free DLCs preferably. But the truth is less colorful and less exciting than that.
On one hand, you have the male gametes, small, motile, restless and manufactured in ridiculous overabundance. On the other hand, you have the female gametes, hugely oversized in comparison to sperm cells, far less numerous and pretty much stationary. Such reproductive setup inevitably leads to significant differences in mating strategies between males and females of the same species... paradoxically. Women are not just men with vaginas for dicks, just like men are not titless and pussyless futanari. Their perception of eroticism is different. Perhaps not so much different from the male perspective that it's absolutely not possible to find common grounds and rock the same boat from time to time.
But it's different nevertheless, hence the term heterosexuallity, literally meaning 'different and separate'. Yet, with all that mutual otherness, heterosexuality is by far the most prevalent kind of sexual orientation. We see the other sex as these alien beings more often than we'd like to admit, yet there are just a small number of things we desire more than the sincere approval of the other sex--so much that sometimes we impose our own desires on them, thinking that women could be just as kinky and horny like men, if not kinkier and hornier still. And vice versa, probably too: they think that we can be just as caring and platonically romantic as them, without coming off as gay; still lusting in the male way, only subdued down to just the right level, for her.
Perhaps it's time to realise that, sporadically at least, between another long session of yet another hentai game and dreaming about one's ultimate kinky female gamer with a perfectly matched sexuality, so she'd do all the stuff all those digital paperdolls do, only better, because this time it's for real.
It's a man's misery, I know, to be driven by excessive sexual energy in our primes. But that's the way nature has worked for millions of years, not just on humans. Yet surprisingly enough, this energy can by rediverted to some productive use. We should be glad we're not male praying mantises, who'd give their lives just so they could breed breed breed breed breed breed breed...
Sorry to be that guy, extending the offtopic discussion.