Answering you about the 'I love you' stuff: I like to write everything to look connected as possible. If something doesn't fit, I avoid to add it for the sake of add what I call 'unnecessary content'. I mean stuff that won't move the story further. For example, let's say that I write their talking about a funny shoes. If I don't use the shoes anymore anywhere, for me that was unnecessary. Maybe I can add some more 'romantic' conversation that leads to a connection to something later, I don't know. It is REALLY hard for me to write something that doesn't connect to anything, as a writer, I need the feel that I'm doing something that goes somewhere.
Like when she was cooking and nothing was working and voila, Michael has the perfect opportunity with tickets to cooking class.
But I'll take that criticism and I'll try to think on how can I retro apply it. I definitely can't promisse anything because I already have a huge list of stuff that I want to retro add (more nts dialogues, confrontational ending routes, videos, etc, etc) and at the same time I want to keep moving the story further with new story.
So that is a good criticism! What is hard to swallow when people talks about the kink and not story issues. Look for this quote after my message:
Do you think that the story only moves forward in an NTR game when the girl is fucked by another guy?
Your goal as an author is to make the reader experience certain emotions. I think the main point was here:
I agree with you. The author simply doesn't understand that just saying "she loves him" is not enough. You also need to show it through narrative, characters' behavior, dialogue. This is a flaw not only of this game.
Even if your initial goal is the humiliation kink with a gf that treats the MC like shit and completely goes against his supposed wishes (which is fine by me, I like different types of NTR), there still needs to be some level of emotional connection for it to matter. In traditional Japanese NTR games, at least the best of them, the story's beginning is just a romance story, 1-2 hours it's "boy meets girl" type of romance, then maybe some dating silliness and cute sex, and only after that actual NTR starts as a sort of dramatic device, and not just sex scenes. If you look at the most popular netorase games (and with the word lending your attract netorase / sharing lovers) then they are slow AF, be it Moonripple Lake or Blurring the Walls, it takes like a dozen versions to see the first ntr sex scene, lol.
What you have is basically end-game content, the point where the girl is already mocking MC and only pretends to love him. But to people it feels like in your story it was the starting point, not the end point. Which is fine for a short 1-2 hour long story, I guess. But there's not much point in waiting for a dozen new updates when the corruption is already more or less complete.
As for how to show that the girl loves MC, even when in sex scenes she's treating him like a worthless cuck, it's simple. A "loving gf" stereotype is very simple - she cooks for her boyfriend, goes on cute dates, laughs at his jokes, is touchy with him, wakes him up first thing in the morning, calls him cute words like baby or darling, praising and complimenting him, in sex scenes with him she'd show kindness and care about his pleasure, and even when she humiliates him there will be aftercare (or gaslighting masked as such if she's evil). NTR is hot because of contrasts in behavior, first and foremost. Granted, it's a bit harder to show most of those with the "phone game" premise.
I disagree with the people who think that the MC should "man up", or whatever, if the author aims for this humiliating cuckold fantasy, that's his vision. Of course, nothing stops him from adding alternative routes / endings as it's a game where you can add choices, or making MC at least understand his position.
