It's been awhile since I last posted in here, and this is hardly relevant to the game but I did finally download the latest update and I'm about to catch up on about 9 months of content that I've missed. It's kinda crazy to me. I loaded my last save and I remember being in a fairly dark place the last time I had it open. Then I found myself in a relationship with a woman who I quickly thought after a few months was going to be the love of my life. I've spent the majority of this year living life with her and falling in love with her and even travelling the world with her. And now we're over. All I have left are the memories and the trinkets from our vacation, and all the little small gifts and the thousand or so photos of her that she sent me over the course of our relationship. Or that I took of us together. I miss her more than I ever thought I could miss someone. I loved her more than I thought I was capable of loving another person. I still do. But already I'm so starved of the intimacy that I had grown used to that I'm scouring tinder and hinge talking to other girls who can't hold a candle to her. And I'm back reading visual novels trying to fill the absence she left.
And I am in a really dark place. The first couple weeks were far more precarious than the last two, but I'm sitting here staring at this image of Sensei laying in bed after the last (to my knowledge anyway) Christmas party and I can't help but think about what I gained in the time since, and what I subsequently lost.
I know noone gives a shit, and fair enough, because to anyone that I could possibly say all this to, she was, in the grand scheme of things, just another woman. But I thought she was the one. And that means something to me. I never thought that before. I don't know if I'll trust myself to believe it again in the future. The time we shared together was like a K-Drama and smut novel mixed together in the best way ever...and then in the worst way ever.
It was so good I almost wish it never happened.
I don't even know what I'm looking for by typing all this here. I know better than to post this on social media or anything like that, but I had to relieve the tension in my head a bit and I think given the nature of this game's story, and the people who frequent this thread, there's a few of you who can relate.
Anyway, I'm excited to see how the story has developed and how it might shatter my world as I inevitably make the furthest reaches possible at any given moment to relate the game's events or one-off lines to my own life.
tldr: I'm a sad sexual deviant who just lost the most wonderful woman he ever had (who was also a sad sexual deviant, funnily enough)