I don't mind the art, it's ok for me, but everything is happening way too fast, without proper (character) development.
For instance when Sarah moves in with Alice. Already the first evening Alice "has a sudden urge to get intimate with Sarah".
Come on, please, let things develop more slowly and naturally.
More constructive criticism:
- The english isn't that great, but it's not gamebreaking.
- As has been mentioned before by others, I fear there are already too many branching choices early in the game. It won't be easy to keep track of everything.
- Instead why don't you add more dialogue choices, which don't have a great impact on the story, but help define character and relations (right now I have zero connection with the characters, because they aren't developed and don't have a personality).
Still I'm rooting for this one. Keep it up!