VN Ren'Py Love or Power [v0.3.2-Bugfix] [Sihirbaz_arttzz]

[Chimba]

Well quite short 10 minutes maybe (looks like a demo), the story seems interesting and the models look really good, maybe some detail on the mc's face compared to the body.

But the biggest problem, as others say, would be the translation, it is the one that needs the most work, although the story can be understood, there are several errors in the writing and the most repeated I think was confusing Him/her, he/she, or for example call the vice director Sir when she is a woman, I think Mr (for men), Mrs (for married women) Miss (for unmarried women) and Ms (for married and unmarried women) are better.

On the other hand maybe some of the animations when a character is introduced or some action is shown, such as a character running would be better with 1 or 2 seconds more, if not the animation is cut too soon and is not appreciated.

Now this was quite funny, for someone who claimed to know nothing, she knew a lot...

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Good luck.

 

[Wzighack]

Jesus christ! Too much mistakes in eng version. Moreover the same mistakes as for Spanish-Portugees authors. I don't know, it seems that Google translate making a poor work, cuz i don't belive that 2 or more language groups so different when it comes to he/she, his/her pronouns! Waaaaait a minute... maybe THAT is what gender equallity means? Maybe... just maybe only english have troubles with this and other languages don't have it, cuz it's already there?.... Naaaaah, seems like just a poor lang.

Animations. There is too much of them and they are quite short so you basically see this loop of 3-5 seconds animation. I would actually prefer just static images that would be changed after 1-3 phrases. It's just would be more solid and not so comical (IMHO).

Nevertheless characters looks good, females espacially. So good work on this part. Damn, if there was a good english i would just skip the visual part, honestly. EVEN THE BEGINING MAKES ACCENT ON THE STORY! How can we dive in the story if it's written THAT poorly?

So, dev, i hope you will fix it! Really, you need someone who can check you writings or help to translate it. Also maybe you need to make animations with more duration or just make some images instead. I would prefer the last one, would be more solid, as i aldready said.

Good luck with the work! All my comment was without any negative towards you, really.

 

[Bestbuddy]

will therer be ntr, sharing, mmf or any of the kind?

 

[EvolutionKills]

Is that tattooed edgelord emo twink the MC? Yeah, hard pass.

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

will there be incest in this game in other updates?

Hi, unfortunately there is no incest content planned in future updates.

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

Well quite short 10 minutes maybe (looks like a demo), the story seems interesting and the models look really good, maybe some detail on the mc's face compared to the body.

But the biggest problem, as others say, would be the translation, it is the one that needs the most work, although the story can be understood, there are several errors in the writing and the most repeated I think was confusing Him/her, he/she, or for example call the vice director Sir when she is a woman, I think Mr (for men), Mrs (for married women) Miss (for unmarried women) and Ms (for married and unmarried women) are better.

On the other hand maybe some of the animations when a character is introduced or some action is shown, such as a character running would be better with 1 or 2 seconds more, if not the animation is cut too soon and is not appreciated.

Now this was quite funny, for someone who claimed to know nothing, she knew a lot...

Spoiler

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Good luck.

Hi, I will do everything I can to fix it in the next update

 

[bobdillan]

will therer be ntr, sharing, mmf or any of the kind?

I too would like to know the answer to this.

 

[EvolutionKills]

So, I did check it out just to see how bad it was, and it did not disappoint.

If I could sum up the game with a single word, it would be CRINGE. Everything is cringe. The MC is an tattooed emo twink who drives a Dodge Challenger Hellcat to high school, whom all the ladies just throw themselves at for seemingly little to no reason, and who also happens to be a super-soldier (presumably, given the description in the OP, but the game is still demo length with maybe 15 minutes of content and never actually gets that far). It is a 'sexy badass' protagonist as imagined by a edgy 12 year old virgin fueled by too much Mountain Dew and awful Shonen anime. It is an embarrassingly childish and boring power fantasy.

Also, the sad desperation to cram in lots of awful bits of needless animation constantly distracts from rather than adds to the experience. I'll let you in on a little secret; motion capture animation created by recording an actual human moving around looks bad and off-putting when just lazily slapped onto a big headed anime body. You can use mo-cap data as the basis to have an actual animator build and refine a smooth animation from, but raw mo-cap data always looks bad and janky; even more so when, again, slapped onto a anime characters with non-human proportions. It is also often edited to cut abruptly, making the whole experience very jarring in the moment.

Let alone the actual writing and grammar, which is all over the place. Pronouns are misgendered more often than not, punctuation is entirely optional, and some lines are just entirely undecipherable nonsense.

It is bad. It is very, very bad. Not just a bad translation. I think that even if it was in perfect English, it would still be a bad premise presented badly. If I were the creator, I would be too embarrassed to admit ownership of this to friends and family, lest I be disowned and ostracized.


TL;DR

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[BlasKyau]

The game says harem and romance, I like that. I guess with harem it means that at the end of the game we can make the MC have a relationship with all the LIs in the game, we don't have to choose between several at any time, correct?

will therer be ntr, sharing, mmf or any of the kind?

It would be interesting to know this.

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

will therer be ntr, sharing, mmf or any of the kind?

There will be no NTR, sharing and mmf.

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

The game says harem and romance, I like that. I guess with harem it means that at the end of the game we can make the MC have a relationship with all the LIs in the game, we don't have to choose between several at any time, correct?



It would be interesting to know this.

Yes, you will be able to move forward with every girl if you want and there will be no NTR, sharing and mmf.

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

I too would like to know the answer to this.

There will be no NTR, sharing and mmf.

 

[Illuminati00]

It's still pretty bad, I can do it if I manage to find the time for it, you tend to use male pronouns for everyone, and the ending of the current update was badly timed (it literally ends right after a choice, the choice doesn't even do anything)

(Also I'm getting heavy beta vibes from this MC, everyone orders him around and he just submits to it)

Damn it. I looked at the game and hoped that the MC would be dominant considering the extreme amounts of tattoos. Thanks for the warning, probably wont download if he stays as submissive as you say.

 

[DraxisSilencer1000]

Well, translation needs be fixing. Can't tell what the story's about from this small snippet. Even worse, is a bad translation from native to English. Gonna be withholding any thoughts for now.

 

[NutakuGhizz]

TÜRKİYE 1 NUMARA GREATEST HENTAI GAME COMES FROM THE GLORIOUS COUNTRY OF TURKIYE!!!!!!

 

[Apxldzib]

I tried the game since I like games with this type of rendering, apart from the grammar I am not going to get into it since I am not an expert, my English is not good. I was a bit disappointed by the fact that the MC looks intimidating but he is very docile, I understand that he has to fit in to reach his future goals but the part where he is spoken by the other two students on the stairs caused me some conflict, considering He tells that he is a super soldier who participated in something deadly, I would have liked him to ignore them or something but not obey his orders to talk to them, also the main scene where a gentleman comes out? asking for information, I would have liked there to be a little torture scene, considering the girl is possibly a seasoned fighter, I didn't think intimidation was enough to get all the information out. Leaving aside these aspects that I hope will improve, the quality of the renderings and animations I have no complaints, just very good, I hope you are not discouraged by certain comments, likewise I hope that all comments help you grow as a developer and take this game to another level, good luck with your project and I look forward to future updates. ‍♂

 

[Sihirbaz_arttzz]

I tried the game since I like games with this type of rendering, apart from the grammar I am not going to get into it since I am not an expert, my English is not good. I was a bit disappointed by the fact that the MC looks intimidating but he is very docile, I understand that he has to fit in to reach his future goals but the part where he is spoken by the other two students on the stairs caused me some conflict, considering He tells that he is a super soldier who participated in something deadly, I would have liked him to ignore them or something but not obey his orders to talk to them, also the main scene where a gentleman comes out? asking for information, I would have liked there to be a little torture scene, considering the girl is possibly a seasoned fighter, I didn't think intimidation was enough to get all the information out. Leaving aside these aspects that I hope will improve, the quality of the renderings and animations I have no complaints, just very good, I hope you are not discouraged by certain comments, likewise I hope that all comments help you grow as a developer and take this game to another level, good luck with your project and I look forward to future updates. ‍♂

Hi, thanks a lot for your comment, I will definitely take it into consideration. I am aware that I have not been able to reflect the MC well so far, I will try to do everything much better in the next update.

 

[RandyPhoenix]

That fight video on patreon page, lmao

 

[Rando Civ]

I chose...

POWER in LOVE! The POWER OF LOVE!

 

[RandyPhoenix]

I'm really sorry for my mistakes, but I couldn't hire an interpreter because my English is not good and I don't expect any financial income from this game, so spelling and punctuation rules were not followed, I apologize to everyone.

Not sure how helpfull it will be, but I always use Grammarly for those things, it's free and quite good application, I do suggest you at least giving a shot, I hope it will help.