EDIT: Now that Night Two has been released, I'm updating this review and bumping the score up to five stars. Night Two is MUCH longer and more ambitious (seriously, Night One might as well be a tutorial in comparison) and the writers also appear to have gotten much more proficient with their craft; events now flow much better and, most importantly, feel natural, an enormous improvement over the rather rushed pace of the first night.
Character motivations have also been expanded; the girl's reasons for going forward with the plan feel at least plausible and the writing indicates that there is a lot under the surface. We'll see if Night Three sticks the landing, but for now, I'm satisfied.
The main character is the one sticking point; the fact that he is willing to go so far for the two main LIs still beggars belief, but I'm not going to knock down the score beause of it yet, given the type of game this is. So far, it hasn't been immersion-breaking, and there is still a chance that Night Three will retroactively make it understandable. If nothing else, we at least now have a decent motivation in his desire to keep Naomi alive, even if it isn't a perfect solution, since his (so far, unearned) affection for the two main LIs is omnipresent in the writing.
Oh, and the sound mixing is much better now. The soundtrack is still a bit repetitive, but branches out enough that this flaw isn't as easily noticeable.
OLD REVIEW BELOW:
Great little game. The characters are interesting, the art is superb and the plot hooks you in, in spite of its simplicity. The main gimmick is a bit clichéd, but the narrative explores it well enough that I never caught myself thinking I had seen this premise several times before.
I only have a few pieces of criticism:
1 - the music is rather repetitive. The authors have stated they had to rely on copyright-free music, but a little bit of variety wouldn't have hurt.
2 - The moans are LOUD - much louder than the music. When the first sex scene came around, the girl started moaning with such thunderous force that I was afraid I was going to wake up my girfriend, despite the speakers's volume being set to low and the fact that I was playing in another room. If you don't intend to use headphones, I recommend tinkering with the voice volume in the settings. Hell, maybe even if you're using headphones, since I imagine those moans are liable to cause a bit of pain if you're using headphones with the volume turned up.
3 - The MC is a bit of an idiot. Maybe exceedingly so. I understand what the writers were going for, but the fact that he is so willing to go to such lengths to save two murderous individuals he isn't truly familiar with feels a bit silly. Making him better acquainted with the two girls or injecting a bit of complexity into his motives would make a huge difference.
The girls' motives also feel... incredibly shallow, at least at first, but the writers have dropped several hints that there's more to all this than meets the eye, so I'm willing to wait and see on this one.
4 - Plot feels a bit rushed at times, like the game is in a hurry to give you one-on-one scenes with the LIs, without worrying too much about attaining a natural pace.
5 - The game is rather short, and you will want more. Despite these flaws I mentioned, the game is truly, genuinely entertaining and has a LOT of potential. I'll be eagerly waiting for updates.