VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Lust of Pain [v0.3] [Vilkas Creative]

Rating for v0.1

I love the models, which is why I downloaded this game.

I'm more of a render guy, so I don't care about writing all that much, but there are some grammar errors in there that can be easily addressed.

There are numerous poke-throughs in the renders, particularly in the entire MC childhood scenario, which you can simply repair with Photoshop or Gimp, etc.

Animation is fine.

Good start, and I'll be looking forward to the future versions.

Pros:
Models
Renders

Cons:
Poor transitioning
Grammar
Translation

When I got through it I wasn't impressed but then again I'm not ready to give up on it. The flaws this game have can be corrected with ease, only real question I have is what's the plot about? Wanting to start a relationship with Dad's wife?

Pros: Renders. That's it. But almost every new VN has them. Just no longer feels new, same old same old.

I just can't differentiate this game from the other VNs like this and those were already done to death. No offense to the devs and I know if I were them I'd probably do the same. But this feels like yet another ambitious VN project with good showcase render that turns out to be cash grab and bogs down after like, 3 or 4 releases. I mean, they put up like 12 different Patron loyalty tier and it's only their first game.... This just feels too commercial. Sorry if I came out like a prick but this is what I honestly felt. Also, the dialogues just feel wonky. I think you should fix that before anything else.

Renders are really good, but it's not enough to make a good game.
English clearly isn't dev's native language, some parts were unpleasant to read, but this can be easily improved if he finds someone to check his scripts.
For me there are two real problems:
- we have a context, but there is no story (yet?). I don't know where the dev wants to take us, but for this first release it's basically "MC starts a job and meets many new girls". But there's no greater picture, it can come with time, but it also could never come...
- consistancy problems. We have flashbacks, shortcuts, and then teleports! It's made clear that MC is very limited on how he can move around town, but he comes back home, then literally teleports in a night club with a coworker without any transition. It's like a scene got cut in the process, why are they here? How? Magic I guess.
So overall visually appealing (yet lacking "action" for the moment), but if the game had bad renders it wouldn't be worth playing in it's current build.

The only "Pain" so far was trying to get through this.

Story:

Now I get that it's super early but there has to be at least some sort of hint of what's going on storywise. The Dev has been hush on what to expect as far as tags and that's never a good thing, I don't know if it's a romance, the Chad guy trying to bed his step-family or what. The translation isn't the only problem but transitions, rushed and forced hookups, random club scenes and there also wasn't any anal sex if we're being technical. It looks good but it was too rushed and has been poorly constructed.

Renders:
Good.

Dialogue:
Bad.

Animations:
C-

Overall, it needs to address several issues before it can be considered a "Professional" VN.

this game has an amazing potential. The art style is very nice, the girls are quite attractive, specially her sister and the girl in the store behind the counter, etc.

I also liked the inner conflict of the main protagonist's sister, when she mentions that "maybe he is right, I am not taking care of myself enough...". That's a very human and recognizable human thing.

Plus there is not much sex for now, but the plot promises a lot of anal, it seems.

Hot chicks and...and, well...that would be all this project has atm.
Almost everything else is either bad or bellow average.
Major points to address should be hard engrish (makes the reading really terrible experience, even for non-native speakers) and enforced interactions (either make kn or proper vn, mixing those two usually isnt that smart choice). If the game improves, gonna change this initial rating, as for now, it hardly can be recommended to play.

Models are nice. English translation needs a LOT of work though. I understand that's sometimes a problem for devs, to try and be multi-lingual but, yeah it's very obvious English is not the first language. Still, I've seen worse, you can usually still get the context of what is trying to be said from contextual clues, but sometimes it's just "...wut?"

But again, the models are very nice. It's more a visual novel than a game, as you rarely have any choices that amount to anything of note. Not really a pro or con, just pointing out that for the most part, you are just taking the route the dev has picked. Personally I'm more a fan of VN than game, as the various game mechanics these games have, tend to be more annoying than engaging. I'd rather have a VN with the options of "do you want to sexually/romantically pursue this person? Yes/No" And leave it at that. So I'm fine with this style.

Still, really new, really rough in the text, but it seems to have some promise to it.

Models are sexy, but the writing is not.

PROS
Models are sexy

CONS
Writing just feels off

Summary
Find a better translator and tidy up the writing. That could help make this VN a 4 star for me.
I'll wait for a while before checking this one out again.
I do recommend this VN. Good luck to the dev(s)