Welp, good news: it didn't kill my desktop so I think they optimized it.
Bad news: This is my main menu. I can't click a damn thing.
Think I'm gonna have to download an older version, change the resolution, then reopen the newer version and hope it fixes the problem.
Edit: Fixed it. Going to an older version made it worse, believe it or not, it just zoomed in more and put it in the middle. But, if anyone else is suffering this issue, you need to go into your appdata folder, both Local and LocalLow, and delete the Dinotonte folders completely off your HDD. It should reset the game's resolution. There's probably a less heavy handed way to do it but, eh, I'll leave that to the tech nerds prowling the site. The "folder go burr" approach works for me.