Ren'Py Completed Marnie's Moment [v1.01] [Writefuck]

[skyrfen]

MarniesMoment-1.01

Spoiler: TORRENT 531MB (Windows)

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[AMRFTY]

Whoa, I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this one.
About 3+ hours in now and this thing feels long, very long.
I wanted to drop a few pointers here for anyone wondering about this game:

1. This is a PoKéMoN themed game. That might seem like a dead giveaway to people who know, but I clocked out of PoKéMoN afther the Johto era. This probably won't be interesting to you if you're not into PoKéMoN and hard to follow if you haven't caught up with recent eras. I had no idea who Marnie was, I never heard about Galar, Dynamax or Gigantamax.

You probably overpaid dawg. Preview images 1,2,5, and 6 all look detached/lifeless. Especially 6 where it looks like they're staring past each other. Gonna see if in-game art is any different.

I was the artist commissioned for the CG, no AI was used at all for any of the pieces I made.

2. From the art I have experienced in-game, things look fine for me. Usually I focus on 3D novels, but the design caught my eye and I was curious to try. It looks fine to me, not always as a complete whole in terms of style but it does the job. I'll add some caps from recording for reference.






3. The writing is actually pretty okay in my opinion. Remember, I'm not up to the latest generation of PoKéMoN and I could follow most of it, although I had to google some things. Learning about Marnie in PoKéMoN after learning about her in this game actually made me appreciate the writing, because the writer took the time to build this storyline with the regular PoKéMoN storyline in mind. Moment to moment spelling and writing is fine, although the developer does have the habit of repeating things which I'm personally not a fan of - even though it fits the persona.

4. I saw this game tagged for creampie, romance, vaginal sex.. It's probably there but far, far later in the story. Haven't seen a hint of it yet and I've visited multiple locations already. This game is trying to tell you a story with Marnie beside you. Don't go in this thinking you'll have any sexual action fast. You won't. This isn't a 'date Marnie easy' simulator. This is probably an 'ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENS and Marnie just happens to be there as well' simulator.

___

I want to hear what PoKeMoN fans think of this game. It's quite an interesting game and there are a few puzzles that you need to fix and choices you will have to make. When I quit or finish it, I'll do a review for everything I know - but for now the quality seems good, 7/10.

 

[Sossse]

i have not played this game yet but the writing in the defs previous game was spot on. if they can continue that trend in this game im sure i will have a lot of fun once i ge around to play this.
this is a def who rly puts his passion into this projects

 

[Forest Fire]

no machamp cucking?

 

[Xenodyne]

Just best it for the first time "passing" both stat checks. Was fun! But I definitely want to make sure I see everything- especially if there's a better ending than

Spoiler: Ending

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[Pinkaccuracy]

Just best it for the first time "passing" both stat checks. Was fun! But I definitely want to make sure I see everything- especially if there's a better ending than

Spoiler: Ending

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How high were your stats

 

[Xenodyne]

How high were your stats

High enough for the scene, at least. 7 / 13?

 

[AMRFTY]

Just finished this game, review is up here. Will post to my site at a later date.

Quick thought:
o All lewdness in game is basically given away by the example screenshots at the top of this post.
o While the story mechanic is interesting, I did find it's ending to be underwhelming. It wasn't bad, it wasn't very impactful to either the MC or Marnie.

+ I like the art and the various locations
+ From what I could tell, story fits in with canon PoKeMoN stories nicely
+ Moment-to-moment writing is good, many jokes made me chuckle

- A few slides of lewdness
- Marnie's lewdness is not built up, but shoehorned in
- Probably not worth the effort if you don't know PoKeMoN
- The sass of some characters can start to get on your nerves

Overall, it's a (too long but) good experience.

 

[MkCromwell]

Okay i finished the game, is there a way to identify what's the requirements for the "endings" cause i aint sure.

I think i got the best thing since I got the "we adventure together with celebi and marine" but if there's a better one then lemme know

 

[Writefuck]

Oh hey, I made this game! I considered making a thread for it, but... it's not really meant to be "a porn game." There's only one sex scene and the sex isn't even very long. While I consider the game to be "finished," I have some ideas for extra material to add to it, including more sex. I think the ending after you

Spoiler

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could be longer and more fleshed out. There should probably be at least one more full in-game day there. People have also asked me for specific things like "an evil route" or a "noncon sex scene" or a certain characters showing up in the story (Gloria for example) or a route that focuses on some of the supporting characters more. These are all options on the table, but right now I promise nothing. I need to take a break from writing this thing.

If you enjoyed this game, you might also like my previous game, Olivine Lights. The art is not as good, especially the backgrounds, but it has better gameplay, a more nonlinear story, and four-ish sex scenes instead of just one. I will definitely be making more games like this, but I'm doing all the writing/coding myself so I'm not especially fast, and good art takes time for artists to draw. So don't expect my next game until... probably some time next year. Probably late next year. If any artists out there want to collaborate, hit me up. Rigaeru is the GOAT but he's only one man.

1300 usd for that art is .... questionable. You probably overpaid dawg. Preview images 1,2,5, and 6 all look detached/lifeless. Especially 6 where it looks like they're staring past each other. Gonna see if in-game art is any different.

$1300 included all the character sprites, the art for the lewd scenes, and the title screen. I also commissioned two pieces of piano music, but that guy volunteered to work for free. I also spent over $1000 on a graphics card and power supply in order to run stable diffusion locally and get good-enough results, but I'm not counting that in the "budget" for this game since it can also be used for video games and other things.

i have not played this game yet but the writing in the defs previous game was spot on. if they can continue that trend in this game im sure i will have a lot of fun once i ge around to play this.
this is a def who rly puts his passion into this projects

Thank you, that's such a nice thing to say!

no machamp cucking?

There's a secret ending where you get to watch Marnie fuck a Machamp but you have to complete the main game 960 times to see it.

Just best it for the first time "passing" both stat checks. Was fun! But I definitely want to make sure I see everything- especially if there's a better ending than

Spoiler

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I can confirm that

Spoiler

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Whoa, I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this one.
About 3+ hours in now and this thing feels long, very long.
I wanted to drop a few pointers here for anyone wondering about this game:

1. This is a PoKéMoN themed game. That might seem like a dead giveaway to people who know, but I clocked out of PoKéMoN afther the Johto era. This probably won't be interesting to you if you're not into PoKéMoN and hard to follow if you haven't caught up with recent eras. I had no idea who Marnie was, I never heard about Galar, Dynamax or Gigantamax.

2. From the art I have experienced in-game, things look fine for me. Usually I focus on 3D novels, but the design caught my eye and I was curious to try. It looks fine to me, not always as a complete whole in terms of style but it does the job. I'll add some caps from recording for reference.

3. The writing is actually pretty okay in my opinion. Remember, I'm not up to the latest generation of PoKéMoN and I could follow most of it, although I had to google some things. Learning about Marnie in PoKéMoN after learning about her in this game actually made me appreciate the writing, because the writer took the time to build this storyline with the regular PoKéMoN storyline in mind. Moment to moment spelling and writing is fine, although the developer does have the habit of repeating things which I'm personally not a fan of - even though it fits the persona.

4. I saw this game tagged for creampie, romance, vaginal sex.. It's probably there but far, far later in the story. Haven't seen a hint of it yet and I've visited multiple locations already. This game is trying to tell you a story with Marnie beside you. Don't go in this thinking you'll have any sexual action fast. You won't. This isn't a 'date Marnie easy' simulator. This is probably an 'ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENS and Marnie just happens to be there as well' simulator.

___

I want to hear what PoKeMoN fans think of this game. It's quite an interesting game and there are a few puzzles that you need to fix and choices you will have to make. When I quit or finish it, I'll do a review for everything I know - but for now the quality seems good, 7/10.

Thank you for your review and your kind words. I will say, I wrote this with the expectation that a lot of viewers might not be super familiar with the specific pokemon-releated things I'm writing about, and that some players might not know pokemon stuff at all. I wanted it to be enjoyable by both dedicated fans and casual or lapsed fans alike. That's why, for example, when Marnie mentions "dynamaxing," a game mechanic that only exists in one main pokemon game and one mobile game, I wrote the player character to have no idea what it is and had Marnie offer a brief explanation, and then quickly had the conversation move past it since it wasn't important to this particular story.

"ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENS and Marnie just happens to be there as well" is... actually a really good way to describe the story I was trying to write. This was never supposed to be, "Marnie goes around making things happen," because I always pictured her as a much more stoic, passive person. She's pretty much a victim of what's going on, along with the player, and they're both just trying to get out of it. So I guess I conveyed the right kind of vibe. I would like to know what you mean by, "the developer does have the habit of repeating things" though. I tried not to have the same scenario or conversation happen more than once if I could avoid it, and I try not to have characters say the same thing more than once (except for Marnie saying, "Yeah." a whole bunch - that was deliberate) so I'm curious where I could improve here.

 

[AMRFTY]

Oh hey, I made this game! I considered making a thread for it, but... it's not really meant to be "a porn game." There's only one sex scene and the sex isn't even very long. While I consider the game to be "finished," I have some ideas for extra material to add to it, including more sex. I think the ending after you

Spoiler

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could be longer and more fleshed out. There should probably be at least one more full in-game day there. People have also asked me for specific things like "an evil route" or a "noncon sex scene" or a certain characters showing up in the story (Gloria for example) or a route that focuses on some of the supporting characters more. These are all options on the table, but right now I promise nothing. I need to take a break from writing this thing.

If you enjoyed this game, you might also like my previous game, Olivine Lights. The art is not as good, especially the backgrounds, but it has better gameplay, a more nonlinear story, and four-ish sex scenes instead of just one. I will definitely be making more games like this, but I'm doing all the writing/coding myself so I'm not especially fast, and good art takes time for artists to draw. So don't expect my next game until... probably some time next year. Probably late next year. If any artists out there want to collaborate, hit me up. Rigaeru is the GOAT but he's only one man.

$1300 included all the character sprites, the art for the lewd scenes, and the title screen. I also commissioned two pieces of piano music, but that guy volunteered to work for free. I also spent over $1000 on a graphics card and power supply in order to run stable diffusion locally and get good-enough results, but I'm not counting that in the "budget" for this game since it can also be used for video games and other things.

Thank you, that's such a nice thing to say!

There's a secret ending where you get to watch Marnie fuck a Machamp but you have to complete the main game 960 times to see it.

I can confirm that

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Thank you for your review and your kind words. I will say, I wrote this with the expectation that a lot of viewers might not be super familiar with the specific pokemon-releated things I'm writing about, and that some players might not know pokemon stuff at all. I wanted it to be enjoyable by both dedicated fans and casual or lapsed fans alike. That's why, for example, when Marnie mentions "dynamaxing," a game mechanic that only exists in one main pokemon game and one mobile game, I wrote the player character to have no idea what it is and had Marnie offer a brief explanation, and then quickly had the conversation move past it since it wasn't important to this particular story.

"ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENS and Marnie just happens to be there as well" is... actually a really good way to describe the story I was trying to write. This was never supposed to be, "Marnie goes around making things happen," because I always pictured her as a much more stoic, passive person. She's pretty much a victim of what's going on, along with the player, and they're both just trying to get out of it. So I guess I conveyed the right kind of vibe. I would like to know what you mean by, "the developer does have the habit of repeating things" though. I tried not to have the same scenario or conversation happen more than once if I could avoid it, and I try not to have characters say the same thing more than once (except for Marnie saying, "Yeah." a whole bunch - that was deliberate) so I'm curious where I could improve here.

Thanks for responding to my post and in our private conversation.
Learning about how you see Marnie puts this game into perspective. Marnie's Moment in that way is 'A moment with Marnie'.

In terms of 'repeating', without spoiling too much of the story, I found bits of the dialog to be similar - but that also comes with the idea of a loop. I do agree you either skip parts or let the characters do commentary on what happened, using the dialog to give context. That said, I don't need breakfast in Kalos ever again. xD If I do think of anything else, I'll let you know - but I found the game to be enjoyable - and I'm not a hardcore PoKéMoN fan. I would have liked more lewdness with Marnie, but I also understand that was not the vision for this story, which is totally fine. We have Rule 34 for that stuff.

I will definitely be checking out Olivine Lights.

 

[archaicginger]

Okay, so I know there's only one scene in the middle, and from what I can tell having played it again it triggers at 10 Love. Either way, this story, which took me about 20 hours rewinding and replaying to see as much of the dialogue as I could, was very engaging and I found myself really caring about the characters and the lore surrounding the MacGuffin.

I managed to get three different endings, although two were very similar and simply had more 'Guffin lore with a different—much more verbose—way things played out for a secondary character. This was the longest ending text-wise, and I feel the most satisfying. I say most, but with so much care put into the rest of the game with character development and—at times—genuinely hilarious dialogue, the endings unfortunately seemed to lack that mythical synergy of a satisfying denouement fueled by established character motivations.

Just out of curiosity, is there some secret ending that I missed or are the endings just somewhat qualitatively anachronistic?

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Either way, I don't regret my 20 hours with this visual novel. Even the Pokémon references were on-point. Fake Out not affecting Dragonite because it had Inner Focus gave me one of those "aha" moments when I realized that's likely what you would run in doubles instead of Multiscale like I was expecting it to have.

Obviously there was a lot of head-canon here with extrapolations from backgrounds and personalities of both people and Pokémon, some of which I found to be quite dubious, but many of which I honestly wish were legit canon. And to be honest, with Pokémon explicitly being a multiverse, it can be difficult to separate that stuff anyway.

 

[Writefuck]

Okay, so I know there's only one scene in the middle, and from what I can tell having played it again it triggers at 10 Love.

Correct. I may add more sex scenes later, but I need art for them. Right now the one and only sex scene happens at the end of a date when you have 10 or more love.

the endings unfortunately seemed to lack that mythical synergy of a satisfying denouement fueled by established character motivations. Just out of curiosity, is there some secret ending that I missed or are the endings just somewhat qualitatively anachronistic?

Based on various people's feedback, the endings are pretty weak. There are two "neutral" endings where you escape from the time loop, but Phil and Onion's fate is a little bittersweet. Either Phil gets arrested or he dies peacefully having never met Onion at all. There is also one "true" ending, which has you fighting the bad guys to save him, and then Marnie goes off to Galar to take on the problems that she ran away from.

As other people have said... this is weak. The endings don't really impact the player, and then the day after the showdown, he and Marnie just sort of... meet up in the park to say "good job" and the story ends. I'm considering revising some of this to add more to the end, even if it's just reflecting on what you've seen and done, and what might happen next.

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That emotional moment made me hopeful for an ending that was much more assertive than the ones I got.

Yeah I think I overdid it on the bittersweetness of having him live happily ever after in a timeline without us, because the rest of the VN doesn't really live up to it. That ending wasn't planned at all when I first started writing this, and if it had been, I would have probably built up to that one being the "true" ending. On the other hand, I think some players would demand the "true" ending be the one where everyone is 100% saved and happy with no caveats. So really, what I need to do is make the other two endings better to try and bring them up to that one's level.

Obviously there was a lot of head-canon here with extrapolations from backgrounds and personalities of both people and Pokémon, some of which I found to be quite dubious, but many of which I honestly wish were legit canon.

I'm just curious, out of the various details I made "canon" in this story, what elements did you find dubious? Everything here is pretty much based on my own headcanons so I'm sure we won't agree on everything (which is totally fine) but I'm just curious which details in my headcanon conflicted with the reader's headcanon.

 

[archaicginger]

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Again, Pokémon being a multiverse and this being fanfiction can essentially eschew these disconnects, which is why it doesn't end up mattering to me that much. Especially since these things are integral and enjoyable.

By the way, huge props for the concerted effort at depicting Pokémon's penchant for personifying real-world memetics by way of using fun little things like linguistic grammar or art history for both design aesthetics and caustic dad-jokes. They really feel like things that would be touched on if TPC were willing/able to go into any of those subjects.

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Seriously I enjoyed this, and it was quite a fun story. I just wanted a bit more closure is all.

 

[Writefuck]

Thinking back on it, the Church of Cresselia was a bit weird, especially in Kalos. The way it was presented was definitely believable, but again, just essentially making important stuff up like that is going to be a bit distracting.

Since Lumiose is basically supposed to be Paris, I felt that I pretty much had to include Notre Dame. But that's tricky since there's no such cathedral in canon, so I had to just make a bunch of stuff up. I couldn't name it Notre Dame since that name refers to the virgin Mary, and she wouldn't exist in any of the pokeworld's religions. The nearest I could come up with was to have a cathedral be built to honor a female legendary pokemon, which didn't leave me a lot of options. Ideally it would have been a legendary from Kalos, but none of those are gendered. The recent fire was a reference to real-world events (there was a fire on the roof in April 2019) so I hope nobody thinks I'm trying to make light of a real-world tragedy. I'm not trying to poke fun at the cathedral. I think Notre Dame is awesome. Literally.

There was also an offhand comment... that did imply something catastrophic was going to happen to Lumiose City well after the scope of the games

Foreshadowing?

Okay but actually, Celebi has been far into the future and knows about all the historically significant disasters that happen in the pokeworld. I wasn't referencing anything specific and I probably won't write anything else set in Lumiose City.

...unless this actually is foreshadowing and I just don't know it yet.

Also, I hadn't ever thought of the concept of a more durable, almost sentient, timeline that attempts to prevent changes and "right the ship" as it were. Is that from something else or did you come up with it yourself? That sort of mechanic could be useful in a number of science-fiction canons. I'm looking at you, Star-Trek.

My "rules" for timelines and time travel in this story aren't directly taken from anything in particular, but I think it's a combination of a few common tropes. I've seen/watched/read/played a lot of media with time travel so I think I'm pretty familiar with all the big takes on it. I don't like the "multiple branching timelines" take because you end up with seemingly infinite copies of all the characters, which ends up making their actions in any one timeline feel insignificant. I do like the idea of being able to change the past (a la Back to the Future) but I also like the idea of the big-picture being pretty much set in stone, so that you don't have to deal with the butterfly effect every time anyone does anything. I actually think my take on time travel is sort of how it would work "for real" if time travel were actually possible. Changing little details should be easy if you just go back and warn someone or physically change events. Like, somebody could easily go back and stop the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by disarming his assassins. But even if you did that, the other factors that set up the first World War would still be in place, and if the Archduke's death wasn't the spark that lit the powder keg, something else probably would do it eventually. It's not that the timeline is "sentient" or has any kind of agenda, it's more that... the world is a complicated place with lots of factors affecting everything, and it's really hard for one person to change the big picture in a meaningful way.

 

[Klab040855]

I really liked the game, but I felt the romance part really lacking, I just can't accept the ending where she goes away to be a hero and the mc accepts it because he would be a liability, he should have gone with her, even if he is not good enough right now they have all the time in the world to train and prepare together, how can he just accept a goodbye like that? For me that's a truly bad ending, I liked the other ending, where they stay together and Marnie plans to live in the mc town, but a epilogue would be cool.

 

[Writefuck]

I can confirm I am revising the ending. The three different showdowns and escaping the time loop will still play out the same. But now, instead of the last day just being a short conversation and then the game ends, you will instead go on another date or something Marnie and Celebi. I'm still writing it so I can't say more. I suppose I'm open to suggestions if anyone wants to shout ideas at me. There's probably going to be another sex scene at the end of it too.

And speaking of sex, that's going to need more art. I put up a recruitment post here if anyone who sees this is interested. You can DM me or reach out on discord.