VN Ren'Py Mastering the Pink Box [v0.08] [Studio 68 Games!]

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

And I've never seen "chuck-full" used, even tho I know it's a thing... because guess what, "choke-full" makes more sense considering the meaning of the expression, so no, it's not an "old-timey" term, it's probably another instance of americans changing something because they fucked it up along the way, but whatever... by the by, another great example would be how americans just decided that it was okay to say "I learned", instead of "I learnt", because I suppose it's easier to just accept the wrong one than correct people all the fuckin' time...

Point being, just take the L and move on...

huh, no, no one says "chuck-full", they say "chock-full". I've never heard of choke-full outside of etymology analysis on a google search. This is hardly analogous to other phrases which have become bastardized incorrect versions over time; e.g. "should of" - the wiki article describes how it may have also came from other chock-prefixed phrases. (

Anyways this is pedantry far past what's needed for decent dialogue in a game - on a serious note when you said you found a bunch of typos, would you mind listing some so they can be corrected?

 

[Jacowboy]

funny enough im American and ive seen both terms used , I think both are correct. They are just nitpicking to nitpick. Tho I think chock-full is more common.

Sure, it might be more common these days, I don't know tbh, I've only ever used or seen used "choke-full".... but yeah, it's like how "irregardless" is now accepted, because people keep making the mistake, so now they're like "sure, it's fine too"... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Jacowboy]

Anyways this is pedantry far past what's needed for decent dialogue in a game - on a serious note when you said you found a bunch of typos, would you mind listing some so they can be corrected?

No, I don't remember them all... I know there were enough typos that I took notice of there being "a lot of typos" when I finished playing.

I do remember a few I saw, like the usual "you're/your" type of typos, there were also some "to" instead of "too", some misspellings, some sentence structuring issues, etc... it needs someone to comb over and fix the dialogues in general... and no, there's nothing major in the game that would make it unintelligible, but there's no reason not to fix what is there, these are Adult Visual NOVELs after all...

Anyways, imma rate this one and add it to the list, so I'm off! (I wish the game had a proper banner u_u)

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

And I've never seen "chuck/chock-full" used, even tho I know it's a thing... because guess what, "choke-full" makes more sense considering the meaning of the expression, so no, it's not an "old-timey" term, it's probably another instance of americans changing something because they fucked it up along the way, but whatever... by the by, another great example would be how americans just decided that it was okay to say "I learned", instead of "I learnt", because I suppose it's easier to just accept the wrong one than correct people all the fuckin' time...

Point being, just take the L and move on...

Sure, it might be more common these days, I don't know tbh, I've only ever used or seen used "choke-full".... but yeah, it's like how "irregardless" is now accepted, because people keep making the mistake, so now they're like "sure, it's fine too"... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

No, I don't remember them all... I know there were enough typos that I took notice of there being "a lot of typos" when I finished playing.

I do remember a few I saw, like the usual "you're/your" type of typos, there were also some "to" instead of "too", some misspellings, some sentence structuring issues, etc... it needs someone to comb over and fix the dialogues in general... and no, there's nothing major in the game that would make it unintelligible, but there's no reason not to fix what is there, these are Adult Visual NOVELs after all...

Anyways, imma rate this one and add it to the list, so I'm off! (I wish the game had a proper banner u_u)

You're hilarious, dude. Thanks for the entertainment, in any case.

​

 

[Jacowboy]

I guess that's a "no" on taking the L and moving on... oh well... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Hungover00]

The Ms. Thompson scene didn't work. I'm not even sure what the dev was going for. Why have the dialogue be her calling him "Some Guy?" It felt like a drunken draft that got left in without any editing or other drafts.

Edit: Maybe I just forgot the tone of this dev, because he used the Some Guy thing later as well. Still don't think that scene worked, but it's not a big deal.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

The Ms. Thompson scene didn't work. I'm not even sure what the dev was going for. Why have the dialogue be her calling him "Some Guy?" It felt like a drunken draft that got left in without any editing or other drafts.

Edit: Maybe I just forgot the tone of this dev, because he used the Some Guy thing later as well. Still don't think that scene worked, but it's not a big deal.

Do you think it woulda worked better if she acted more familiar with him from the start? I ask as i discussed that scene for awhile with dev, and in an earlier incarnation saw him walking right in, no hesitation, bang bang bang. So a more specific critique would be helpful, or how you would do it instead. Remember, Alan's already got his own little teacher harem going on (if you're on the bob pics path/ntr path), snogging hatcher and the dean so he's pretty cocky with all of them.

 

[Hungover00]

I prefer "choke-full" instead of "chock-full"... it's more fun, deal...

You must be registered to see the links

also: " Originally a person or thing stuffed to the point of choking was “choke-full.” In modern speech this expression has become “chock-full,” or in less formal American English, “chuck-full.”

but yes, the irony...

View attachment 3886686

ugh why do I even bother with pedantic obnoxious people...

That link doesn't seem to have that 'also' section. Do you have a source for that?

 

[Jacowboy]

That link doesn't seem to have that 'also' section. Do you have a source for that?

imnotyourpersonalsecretary.com

 

[Hungover00]

Do you think it woulda worked better if she acted more familiar with him from the start? I ask as i discussed that scene for awhile with dev, and in an earlier incarnation saw him walking right in, no hesitation, bang bang bang. So a more specific critique would be helpful, or how you would do it instead. Remember, Alan's already got his own little teacher harem going on (if you're on the bob pics path/ntr path), snogging hatcher and the dean so he's pretty cocky with all of them.

Who's Alan? Is that the MC, because I have his name as Zach and I go with the default name if it's an option.

Maybe it had just been long enough since last update that I forgot some things and it was jarring, but there were a few things. One, we're moving from mysterious lawyer, Devon and subway train, and when he get's to uni Ms. Thompson basically says he's likely to get expelled if he misses another class. That row of dominoes didn't make sense to me, one class, required, elective, or other, shouldn't affect other classes you're currently in. So, suspension of disbelief blinked away. Then it softened a bit and turned to this test, which was semi-serious business due to the strange but heightened stakes. Next the MC starts a little fantasising about what his prof is watching, which made me think the part when Some Guy walked in was a fantasy sequence. But no, both he and she don't seem to care that Some Guy (just give the guy a name!) is exposing himself to a student, and then having sex in front of him. Like if a random other person walked in on that, people would be losing jobs. But in the scene it was treated as normal. Then the other person shows up to watch for a bit, and then the scene is over.

I felt it didn't mesh with the scenes before or after, was confusing, and didn't feel like there was a payoff in the scene or for the characters involved. Especially the MC, other than watching for a bit he didn't seem affected and kind of forgot about it.

Is the scene just supposed to be showing off free-use in a work environment? What happened with the test? She seemed like a caring teacher a few moments before. Does this say something about her character? Is it meant to be a silly little moment? It just felt so disjointed to me. Some of that may be on me since I can't recall what subject she teaches, though I'm vaguely remembering she got the MC to eat her out? Not 100% on that.

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

imnotyourpersonalsecretary.com

Easy there, cowboy. I know you believe you're always right instead of admitting that you might possibly make a mistake or two (like everyone who's human), but there's no reason to be aggressive with every post you make.

 

[Jacowboy]

Easy there, cowboy. I know you believe you're always right instead of admitting that you might possibly make a mistake or two (like everyone who's human), but there's no reason to be aggressive with every post you make.

lol yeah okay buddy

Also: A little "please" goes a long way...

Oh and in case it wasn't clear, move on please, I already did

 

[Hungover00]

Easy there, cowboy. I know you believe you're always right instead of admitting that you might possibly make a mistake or two (like everyone who's human), but there's no reason to be aggressive with every post you make.

Eh, seems like someone pissed in his cornflakes, I don't take it personally. I just come from a tradition that if you claim something and put a source, the source should connect with the claim.

Wikitionary seems to say it's closer to 'cheek' full as an etymology, so I'll trust them for now. (

You must be registered to see the links

)

 

[Hungover00]

The game may have reached the need for a cast-list/codex type thing. It'd be good if beyond just name, portrait, little bio it also had relationships and sexual history with MC. But that may be too much of a pain to code, but a static contact list with a bio would be greatly appreciated by this guy.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

Who's Alan? Is that the MC, because I have his name as Zach and I go with the default name if it's an option.

Maybe it had just been long enough since last update that I forgot some things and it was jarring, but there were a few things. One, we're moving from mysterious lawyer, Devon and subway train, and when he get's to uni Ms. Thompson basically says he's likely to get expelled if he misses another class. That row of dominoes didn't make sense to me, one class, required, elective, or other, shouldn't affect other classes you're currently in. So, suspension of disbelief blinked away. Then it softened a bit and turned to this test, which was semi-serious business due to the strange but heightened stakes. Next the MC starts a little fantasising about what his prof is watching, which made me think the part when Some Guy walked in was a fantasy sequence. But no, both he and she don't seem to care that Some Guy (just give the guy a name!) is exposing himself to a student, and then having sex in front of him. Like if a random other person walked in on that, people would be losing jobs. But in the scene it was treated as normal. Then the other person shows up to watch for a bit, and then the scene is over.

I felt it didn't mesh with the scenes before or after, was confusing, and didn't feel like there was a payoff in the scene or for the characters involved. Especially the MC, other than watching for a bit he didn't seem affected and kind of forgot about it.

Is the scene just supposed to be showing off free-use in a work environment? What happened with the test? She seemed like a caring teacher a few moments before. Does this say something about her character? Is it meant to be a silly little moment? It just felt so disjointed to me. Some of that may be on me since I can't recall what subject she teaches, though I'm vaguely remembering she got the MC to eat her out? Not 100% on that.

Also if you didn't rat on him earlier, you find out more about what's going on and why he's inexplicably comfortable strolling into a classroom at a university and dropping trou.

The game may have reached the need for a cast-list/codex type thing. It'd be good if beyond just name, portrait, little bio it also had relationships and sexual history with MC. But that may be too much of a pain to code, but a static contact list with a bio would be greatly appreciated by this guy.

See my earlier post on just that since there's nothing official like this in game yet..
https://f95zone.to/threads/mastering-the-pink-box-v0-08-studio-68-games.151848/post-13597281

 

[Hungover00]

View attachment 3887491

Also if you didn't rat on him earlier, you find out more about what's going on and why he's inexplicably comfortable strolling into a classroom at a university and dropping trou.

Just checking out another path and that one has him properly named as Alan. Maybe the other save didn't see him in the library and the 'Some Guy' tag stuck (she used it in dialogue, it was very confusing)?

 

[-CookieMonster666-]

Just checking out another path and that one has him properly named as Alan. Maybe the other save didn't see him in the library and the 'Some Guy' tag stuck (she used it in dialogue, it was very confusing)?

Haven't checked the code, but it's always possible the dev typed that name out instead of using a variable. It happens from time to time in general in games.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

Just checking out another path and that one has him properly named as Alan. Maybe the other save didn't see him in the library and the 'Some Guy' tag stuck (she used it in dialogue, it was very confusing)?

I think that's working as intended then because if you arent friends with Bob you never get the lowdown on the teachers.

Haven't checked the code, but it's always possible the dev typed that name out instead of using a variable. It happens from time to time in general in games.

No, it's variable, looks intentional. One could argue that makes things needlessly confusing if not Bob's friend, but perhaps that's more realistic if you go a 'solo' route at a campus instead of getting to know people.

 

[MagicMan753]

Just checking out another path and that one has him properly named as Alan. Maybe the other save didn't see him in the library and the 'Some Guy' tag stuck (she used it in dialogue, it was very confusing)?

Yeah I think the only time the name Alan will pop up is if you become friends with Bob. I chose to ignore him in my main playthrough, so Ms thompson will yell out some guy instead. I feel like that should be fixed because I don't care to interact with the perv so that I can have the nams Alan instesd of Some Guy said.

 

[Hungover00]

I think that's working as intended then because if you arent friends with Bob you never get the lowdown on the teachers.

No, it's variable, looks intentional. One could argue that makes things needlessly confusing if not Bob's friend, but perhaps that's more realistic if you go a 'solo' route at a campus instead of getting to know people.
View attachment 3887501

A wife shouldn't call her husband 'Some Guy' though. It's fine having his name be unknown, but that was just a silly accidental 4th wall break.