I wouldn't say that the male partner is necessarily the one in control in a Netorase situation. It's entirely possible for him to be totally submissive, and for his wife or girlfriend to act as the dominant partner. But unlike Netorare, both partners have mutually agreed to allow the female partner to have sex with other people, and both have at least some control over what happens. Whereas, in the case of Netorare, the male partner is usually given no choice, and the result is more cheating than sharing.
In fact, describing Netorare as sharing is probably inaccurate. Yeah, the male partner might get some kind of sexual pleasure, from his wife or girlfriend fucking around behind his back (or at least doing it, without him having any say in the matter). But it's often pleasure that he doesn't really want and causes him profound shame and humiliation. So does that qualify as sharing? If it's happening against his will, then surely it can't be?