First off, excellent name axolotl. Second, have more interactables. You have a rpgm game, the strength is really being able to immerse in the story or tell jokes through tiny blurbs. Like when he falls in the hole he should really say something about a fucking skeleton lol.
Personally I like mind control when it's a slow burn and this feels like your going kinda fast. Especially when the dude goes into classic hypnosis lines and 'master' before he even read anything about what he's doing. But that's up to you to decide just my preference. Art is pretty cute and i'm happy to see the map set up and powers mentioned in a way that suggests a harem and fun story.
I also appreciate you making it seem like she's not his best friend so the immediate manipulation and groping is a natural level of power corruption rather than getting magic and turning into an entirely different person.
Final note, turn the walk speed up a little. Even with always sprint on your map is too big to have that slow a base movespeed. Or add teleporting as a future power
Edit- I see you spoke about having resistance to corruption, awesome!