A few suggestions.
1. Let the render last until 100%. That will clear up the grainy look. If you are going to 100%, are you using an outdated computer? Use 3Delight settings, not Iray, that may help.
2. Work on your translation, hire a decent translator if you can. Don't mind Engrish, though this is bad.
3. I personally like teen actors/characters in adult games, so do not think me a prude
but, unless this is a middle school, the students should look a bit older. Are you using
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for
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? If so, do not use the younger teen preset, instead, the older will look like high schoolers, even with subtle alterations in the settings. (I'm working on a game with younger and older teens.)
4. I am assuming you are using variables for the names -- something like
define er = Character('Elena Romanovna'). You should separate the first and last name, possibly using
er-f for first and
er-l for last. Every time someone mentions her and everyone who has a similar defined name becomes tiring to the reader.
5. Noticed the spelling of Andrey is changed to Andry and Andrei during conversations.
6. Saw instances of white areas in some of the pix. If this is what I ran into, you're using an HDRI dome and the hair, etc are Iray instead of 3Delight? The two, HDRI and Iray, do not work well together. I have a semi-outdated system; a new system would probably sidestep this. I am taking it you are also using an outdated system as well.
7. I don't understand why Egor hid as his sister filmed the paint can incident, and it took too long for him to react. A bit of shocked hesitation would slow him down a bit I suppose, and there should be a pic or two showing his hesitation.
8. The conversation between Vera and Ira lasted too long, especially after showing Andrey at the door to the classroom.
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Some praise.
1. The aged look of the principle. Good job.
2. Love the principal's comment "Shut up, puppy" when speaking to Andrey, even from a "sick bastard" of a milk toast which he is.
3. Kinda like the teacher, Elena with the "smushed" nose. Every female should not be beautiful bombshells.
4. Stas looks the part of a young high schooler.
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Here's hoping you do well on this game. A fairly unique premise.
