Review made for Episode 6
(A small warning to anyone writing a review on this site, if you accidentally click outside the rating box, it will close it and delete your entire review with no warning. I am writing most of this twice. Don't do what I do.)
Alrighty. I've never written a review on this site before, so bear with me. I want to start by saying that there's an inherent amount of respect that goes out to anyone with the fortitude and skill to create any sort of game, being able to push through your own potential insecurities as a writer and maintaining a creative vision through to a finished product. No matter what else I say, that is commendable in its own right.
Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about this game in particular and how it has compelled me to write my first ever review (twice). It comes down to two basic aspects: concept and execution.
The concept: The story of an everyman who has been put in a situation where he must now cohabitate with his high-school bully/bullies, confront their past differences, and establish a form of mutual respect that blossoms into love. Absolutely fantastic concept with a lot of room for interpretation, great job. To look at it in most basic terms, it's clear why it would work and be compelling. It's well known that a lot of bullies pick on people due to something going on in their own lives, leading to them feeling the need to exert control over others. Bullying is something that can take many forms depending on the dynamic between the two people, whether it be physical, social, emotional, etc...there's a lot to do here. I could go on, but I'm pretty sure I've laid out enough breadcrumbs for you to be able to form your own trail.
Let's explore execution. What does "My Bully Is My Lover" do with this concept? For starters, we join our MC years after high school. He's now an adult with a very basic job moving through life in a pretty typical way (aside from an incestuous relationship with his sister, but it's a porn game, fuck it, who cares). He's moved past all of the trauma of his high school where he was bullied for being fat and used the trauma as motivation to get in shape and avoid the sort of abuse he suffered from. He's already progressed through an obsessively vengeful stage of planning revenge on his bullies to simply wanting to move on with his life. Fully rehabilitated, a great choice. Suddenly, he finds out that his mother is leaving the house and also renting out the two empty rooms to some tenants who will be arriving soon. Ding dong! It's his bullies, surprise! He (of course) remembers them but it appears as though the bullies do not remember him. Cue an interestingly tense situation where he doesn't quite know how to broach the subject (or if he even should) as he gets to know how they are now. He clearly sees that they're not acting the same as they were back then. Is it because they've changed? Is it because he's not fat and ugly? Time will tell!
Well, it's really not a lot of time and it's quite possibly the least interesting way this could have gone. What was initially a tightly-knit story of a plausibly relatable (though clearly fantastical) situation is somehow blown into this absolutely wild tale involving some illuminati bullcrap, spies, parents manipulating their children for "reasons".... To sum it all up, Bully Prime's mom is behind all of it because she's extremely petty and basically ordered Bully Prime to be incomprehensibly mean. This means that every bully is actually just a pawn, and all of them felt really bad the whole time but they just absolutely had to be bullies because the mom is just that powerful! We quickly learn that one of the "bullies" consensually fucked our MC basically the first time the two of them were alone, another was in love with him since she was old enough to form sentences and Bully Prime was just sad about the whole thing too. Additionally, this entire situation was established with the help of one of one of the bullies contacting MC's mom with the entire plot being set up so that Bully Prime would fall in love with MC and avoid an arranged marriage.
The main issue with this story as a whole is the writer doesn't seem to comprehend that less is more. One entire chapter is dedicated to backstory on one of the "bullies" who the writer wants to heavily imply is autistic without outright declaring it. As much as I tend to like characters like this, we spend a ridiculous amount of time establishing her backstory, her tragic early life and even toss in an attempt to humanize the completely irredeemable main villain of the story. If you're going to hit predictable story beats, rather than focus on telling us the entire story in a way that feels "cinematic", focus on what's necessary to convey without breaking the flow of the actual story. The main way that jumps to mind as to how you'd want to employ a chapter-long flashback in the way the author has is if it's going to reveal a lot of critical information that dramatically transforms the story in some way, making me see characters or past events in a new light. For the chapter in question, it more or less establishes that this character who seemed possibly autistic is absolutely autistic, and there was a tragedy they experienced when growing up. We already knew about how they felt about our MC and seeing them meet Bully Prime doesn't actually effect how the two's relationship is viewed by the reader. There's no reason to go back and retell me information you already did a great job of passing on to me.
Bottom line is this: this story would've done much better if it didn't shoot for the moon. I found myself skipping a good amount of the grand scheme bits of the story and paying attention to the close interpersonal sections where characters interacted with and played off each other. Of course, this sort of thing comes down to what the author wanted to make, and if they wanted to make a story that swaps between a grand stakes high society plot and a couple of young adults head patting and fucking in a house, that's their vision. If it's what keeps them invested in making it, they should make what they want.
As it stands, the primary value in this to me is the solid art and the occasional fuck. It's good enough in the art department that I'll probably keep checking in on it. I could probably go on a bit more, but writing this twice has sucked just about all of the wind out of my sails at the moment. Best of luck.