The only way to define "perfection" that doesn't end up on the mystical or imaginary realm, is by accepting each person fully.
By this I mean, and I have to explain this, I came to this realization pretty early in life, I was maybe 16 or 17, I had had a really painful breakup, and in the process of reaching inside for answers that I could never get from anyone else, I figured out that:
- No one has only Strengths, everyone also have Flaws.
- Neither are more relevant than the other.
- What both are is simply Characteristics.
When I say that we MUST accept a loved one fully, is to recognize their Characteristics. Not categorize them into either Strengths or Flaws. But, simply assess them. Determine what FOR YOU is acceptable and if something isn't, in what and how deeply can you compromise and manage to overcome it.
I made a bad assessment of my 1st wife. I got too comfortable with what I perceived as her Strengths. I could see her Flaws. I figured I would be able to accept them. I wasn't. Is it her fault? No, not really. Did she mask some of her Flaws before we started living together and raising a child? No, I think she wasn't even aware, I think she isn't aware even now. But, I also masked some of mine. Some, not really on purpose, but definitely cognizant, that I didn't think they'd matter. Others, because I never truly opened up to her. So, I'm not innocent in the failure of that relationship. No surprise, no one ever is.
With my 2nd wife, there simply wasn't any assessment. We met after 18 years of total no contact. We started kissing before the end of that day. We moved together 2 months later. Should have been sooner. The delay was only because I was still in my Father's house after my separation from the above 1st wife.
Are we "perfect"? No! We fit together like puzzle pieces. But, the edges that don't touch, are all on the outside. So, no. We aren't "perfect". We are only, perfect for each other. Even when (or most probably because) we drive each other crazy. Then we make-up.
So, saying that Norah or Martha are not perfect, is meaningless, Trope95. No one is. At best we find the puzzle piece(s) where we fit, even if sometimes they are from 2 different boxes. Or that the way we fit isn't ordinary (they only fit if one is turned on it's back). So far, you've managed to make all pieces fit. The funny part is, each time a new piece needs to fit, the center piece needs to grow a new surface (I'm really digging this metaphor). So, our MC center piece that he is, has had to grow considerably to incorporate all the pieces that fit with him. Something as different as Scarlett and Simone. Or MeeMaw and Amanda. But, fit they do.
What is making this story special for me, is the care that Trope puts in his characters. We can see people that we've met there. Oh, I am quite certain that they are all fictional, inspired by live events at most. But they do feel solid.
Take Megan for example. Could have been a rather secondary character. Nothing particularly special about her. Until we get close and her very unique sweetness comes to the front. She's Special now. She could have been less sweet. Or not at all. But, no, a part of what makes her a great artist, is that "impossible" sweetness. That empathy and simplicity. Is she "perfect"? No! But she's very much a rather great character.
So, reducing people to Strengths and Flaws, doesn't work for me. The only thing that works is : Characteristics. Because, remember, what for you is a Flaw, may very well be someone else's Strength.
Martha being Depressive, only makes her even more desirable to me. So...
Peace