My husband doesn't know about my affairs. He's never been open-minded, shutting down every attempt I made to connect or talk through our struggles. Marriage takes constant effort to thrive over a lifetime, you can't just pull away and expect it to work. I poured my heart into us for years, but exhaustion and loneliness eventually took over. Some might say, "Just leave him, then have your affairs." But it's not that simple when you're a mom with a kid who needs stability, a home you've built together, and a life intertwined after 15 years. In a country like Turkey, divorce is even harder. Culturally, it's stigmatized, especially for women, who face being ostracized or labeled as failures, and legally, it's a long, grueling process that can drag on for years. Besides, I still love my husband deeply, he's the father of my child and my partner in countless ways. My affairs aren't about betrayal or a lack of love, they're purely physical, a way to reclaim a piece of myself in a marriage that's left me feeling invisible for far too long. These experiences have opened the door to bold, electrifying moments that awaken a passionate, adventurous side of me, reminding me who I am beyond just being a wife and mother. They're a temporary escape, a chance to feel alive and desired again, but they don't change my commitment to my family.