moonpartially
Newbie
- Nov 1, 2024
- 41
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Damn, for the 2/3 of the game I was kinda not into it but man, the last third hit me hard.
- Thread starter CircleGames
- Start date
- Jul 9, 2018
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DanThaMan
Engaged Member
- Jun 25, 2017
- 3,689
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moonpartially
Newbie
- Nov 1, 2024
- 41
- 213
Because you're the dev of the game I'll try to develop my thoughts (not a native speaker so pardon my broken english).
I really don't mind long setup, quite the oposite actually, but the 25% of the game is just a mess, too much characters introductions, too much jumping one place to the other, and I think your writing (at first) was too wordy. You use a lot of words to convey not such setup nor world building. Compare the videogame part and the introduction to the new neighbor vs Girls changing room in the sexshop it's night and day in terms of pace.
I don't mind the fact that some characters talk in a trashy way but many time you would benefit from being more subtle.
To back-up the fact that it's kinda hard to get in the storyline of the various characters, you got me as soon as you started to switch POV, that was my breakiing point. I didn't skip a single word after the beach sex scene the sequence : Peeping the neighbor -> VI Shooting -> Sexshop (my favorite part because way more subtle, and with a better build-up) -> Rock show was perfect. The texting part between the sisters (the roomates of the hero in my head because I don't see the point of incest) and the hero about the swinsuts was really great as well. Mixing the storytelling by Vi of the Shooting during the BJ was excellent.
Also the hero is non consistent enough, in one act he is immature and talks like he's 14 and in the next scene for no reason he now act like is the king of this earth. I really couldn't play AS him because of him. Anya was way more consistent and was way more easier to follow as she progress in her journey
Finally Ari could use more backstory and a POV part because she can become my favorite character if she is not only described as the trashy girl but if we could explore more her reasoning and motive. Anya for example can become some kind of lust goddess at some point but at least I know where she's comming from.
I can really see the progress you made as you start to master your story etc. Swimming is very good there but it is a sea in which it is hard to enter at the moment.
Best of luck in you progress mate.
Dercuillo
Member
- Jan 14, 2020
- 162
- 320
Out of curiosity, what’s your native language?
I agree with almost all of your points, and that’s exactly why I’m working on a translation (to French) because it's a way to smooth things out! After several revisions, the text is starting to sound really good. And when I say ‘really,’ it’s because French (and I suppose Latin languages in general) is better suited for subtle nuances than English.
To me, the original text provides a solid ‘skeleton,’ which is already a great point. My only hope is that others will step in to help the developer with the polishing work because as you pointed out, there is room for improvement. But we must keep in mind a man alone cannot handle everything (image generation, text writing, scripting) at stellar level! And believe me (because I see it at my tiny level), just like in any field, the time needed to approach perfection grows exponentially!
Maybe you could ask in the translation forum if someone is available to translate the game into your language?
And if someone is interested, FYI, I can share my own PSD files for the embedded text in images…
At the end of the day, having more quality translations broadens the audience and it's also a way to support the studio!
moonpartially
Newbie
- Nov 1, 2024
- 41
- 213
I'm french also. But I can read/talk english with no issues. It's just that, with dyslexia, the writing part is hell for me.
Plus, I don't know about you but I don't like porn in my mother tongue it feels silly.
quandin
Active Member
- Feb 9, 2021
- 613
- 1,375
There is no way you have a hard time writing English when you can do it in french, French is so much more hellish
moonpartially
Newbie
- Nov 1, 2024
- 41
- 213
Spoiler alert: I've a hard time writing in French as wellThere is no way you have a hard time writing English when you can do it in french, French is so much more hellish
La Dani
Formerly 'Lovely Dani'
- Aug 26, 2020
- 3,233
- 4,975
I'm italian but best language for porn is german.
kikomascado
Active Member
- May 20, 2017
- 844
- 1,337
I'm the same. Hahaha
Readings these things in english is hot, but when I see the words in my language (brazilian portuguese), my elementary schooler spirit kicks in and I have to contain my laughter.
I like the idea of pov part for a character but i do hope that are use sparingly as i do not want switch all time in every ch.Also the phones scene i do not mind it but do not use it in every ch fam.
(Sorry for the bad english i broke my hand by accident)
(Sorry for the bad english i broke my hand by accident)
kikomascado
Active Member
- May 20, 2017
- 844
- 1,337
While I do know that a lot of people don't like switching out from the MC, this is one of the things that vastly differed this game from other netorase games I played, so I want the dev to keep going. But, yeah, it really should be optional, making you click the button to switch perspectives.
Also the phone messages are really hot, and texting goes hand in hand with netorase, so I don't see it being put aside.
Keko!
Member
- Jan 13, 2021
- 196
- 298
Yep, same here. The only exception is 'that' game developed by a brazilian, it's so well written and full of BR references.I'm the same. Hahaha
Readings these things in english is hot, but when I see the words in my language (brazilian portuguese), my elementary schooler spirit kicks in and I have to contain my laughter.
kikomascado
Active Member
- May 20, 2017
- 844
- 1,337
What game? I don't know any that's made by a brazilian (maybe I do know the game, just don't know this fact).
TERES
Member
- Jun 1, 2019
- 484
- 3,022
That fair like i don't mind pov part either just making it optional or use sparing because the mc barely move in this last update it went anya to mc (texting scene)to vi to anya to mc(concert/fucking vi) btw i am curious on why you think texting goes hand in hand with netorase.
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Definitely! Talking about my big Spätzle and her amount of Sauerkraut allways drives us crazy!
I feel the same! My mother tongue is portuguese and it sounds odd to me too.
La Dani
Formerly 'Lovely Dani'
- Aug 26, 2020
- 3,233
- 4,975
"JA JA SCIAFFF SCIAFF SCIAFFF JA JAAAA"Definitely! Talking about my big Spätzle and her amount of Sauerkraut allways drives us crazy!