There's not a lot of grace given here to women who have character flaws, or men who show any sign of weakness. I often wonder how some posters here interact in the real world.
My perspective is that one sign of a good story is when the protagonist isn't perfect--they have certain challenges, not only external, but internal as well, that they must confront and overcome over the course of their story arc.
I'm a big fan of The Hero's Journey.
Another point on literary conventions is what Sarah alluded to near the end of the update.
She, her sperm donor, and her dad have come full circle. In the beginning, Mike hurt Sarah and the MC saved her life (and her soul). At the end, Mike hurt the MC and Sarah was called upon to save her dad and put an end to the threat, the cloud, once and for all.
I know some have agued the logic of it, but as a piece of literary work, it is quite appropriate that Sara
was the one to end the threat of Mike once and for all. It is her rite of passage that will allow her to be her own woman, not just a daughter being protected by daddy (though that doesn't mean she doesn't need him in her life--he will be part of her continued healing. Symbolically, this opens the door to Sarah's
promotion to detective. She has faced her demons and has overcome them. I the MC has been
the one who saved Sarah from Mike again, it would have seemed like she was not yet into her power.
