My very own game, a WIP.

[9thCrux]

Made another lil bonus



I haven't add more vehicles, people, more lights, still working on setting up the scene, I think that maybe adding depth of field can help lower the "new buildings" effect.

I have render quality up to 5, De-grain filter at 2 and 4 radius, and I don't remember what else...
I'm sleepy, made this one because I like how she looks in this render *,*

 

[Cyan]

It was mostly 'weird' for me looking at the car-render. This one looks great, and so did the other one that this one is based on. (This is just the camera tilted upward?)

Depth of field might fix the 'weirdness' i saw on that scene too, I hadn't even considered that. Even if you don't do a thing to the previous images, I think the art is wonderful.

 

[9thCrux]

It was mostly 'weird' for me looking at the car-render. This one looks great, and so did the other one that this one is based on. (This is just the camera tilted upward?)

Depth of field might fix the 'weirdness' i saw on that scene too, I hadn't even considered that. Even if you don't do a thing to the previous images, I think the art is wonderful.

Yup just a small camera adjustment (down and to the right) just trying to show her face a little better.

The car scene is meant to be late at night, like about 1:00 AM, just empty streets.

 

[Cyan]

The car scene is meant to be late at night, like about 1:00 AM, just empty streets.

Whaaaat. 1am? Now it looks really weird, I'm not sure if it's just my monitor (I have several monitors, and it looks weird on all of them), but it looks way too bright to be at 1am.

I thought it was like a sundown scene. That's kinda why I liked it so much, cause that type of look is so hard to make.

 

[9thCrux]

Whaaaat. 1am? Now it looks really weird, I'm not sure if it's just my monitor (I have several monitors, and it looks weird on all of them), but it looks way too bright to be at 1am.

I thought it was like a sundown scene. That's kinda why I liked it so much, cause that type of look is so hard to make.

Lol, all you have to do is play with the gamma, saturation, and environment intensity...
After you selected the ambient light or HDRi you want to use.

But what can I know, i just started making renders :closedeyesmile:

 

[Revo]

I want to relate it to the violent incident during the school trip, but sometimes people start school a bit older than others for different reasons, it doesn't necessary mean that she had to repeat a school year.

Jacket?
The MC hoodie maybe? Is a free asset I found online ^^

yeap, the hoodie makes a plus for me lol true, I met some people that came late to highschool

 

[9thCrux]

Story board manga style:
A sneak peek into Sara's mind. -sweet angels have swords-



Made with Daz 3D and Clip Studio Paint.

This is a work of fiction any resemblance to people living or dead is pure coincidence, I made this image to illustrate some aspects of one of the characters in my story.

Uh...
Right, I'm not a native English speaker but I think I send the message I wanted to send xP

--Made some corrections thanks to @Cyan for the grammar corrections--

 

[Cyan]

There are a very large number of grammatical errors - it's unsettling to read for me.

You switched tenses and parties mid sentence, a large number of run-on sentences and serialized list errors (in regards to commas). There are many people (myself included) who would volunteer their skills here on the site to help out with any of those issues.

That being said, I like it. You can really tell what's going on in the backstory, and that she really cares about her brother. There's a lot of depth, the art fits and it's beautiful.

 

[9thCrux]

There are a very large number of grammatical errors - it's unsettling to read for me.

You switched tenses and parties mid sentence, a large number of run-on sentences and serialized list errors (in regards to commas). There are many people (myself included) who would volunteer their skills here on the site to help out with any of those issues.

That being said, I like it. You can really tell what's going on in the backstory, and that she really cares about her brother. There's a lot of depth, the art fits and it's beautiful.

I see, can ask you to write down how a native speaker would write the dialog?

I still have the WIP file in Clip Studio so I can make changes to it.
I want to see if someone who's first language is English would say it in a different way.

I would really appreciated.

 

[Cyan]

I rewrote it real quickly just changing around commas mostly. Note - there are plenty of other ways to write this to improve the flow, and make it sound better if it were spoken. Mostly I just kept it as close to the original as possible.

My brother came back yesterday, I can't believe he is right here....

You've been away for more than five years, I missed you so much.... Mom convinced you to go to (CollegeNameHere/CollegeNameHere University/College in LocationNameHere - Saying 'that college' is gramatically dubious) I heard our parents talking about it, it was my fault...

Mom told you I was getting too attached to you. She said that it was in my best interest to put some distance between us, to let me learn to be more independent and help me get over my crush on you. But I still feel the same away about you... nothing has changed for me. After dad died you were the closest thing to a father I had left. You look like him, you sound like him, and you were so sweet and kind to me.

When I was sad you were there to comfort me. When I was scared you were tehre to protect me. When I was feeling down, you made me feel beautiful. You used to brag about how cute your little sister was, and you would get jealous when some guy tried to talk to me. You made me feel treasured. You cared for me and made me feel wanted.

Just looking at you is so soothing. You're just like dad, but closer to me, and within my reach. I want to make you mine. I want to do my best to make you happy... to make you fall for me.

I dreamt about this day, it felt like an eternity. But the wait is over and you're right here.... My dear brother is back, my beloved is back. This time I won't let you go away. I know you want me too. I know you only agreed to leave because you wanted what's best for me.

This time I will speak my mind. I will be honest with you and myself. I won't be afraid. I will do anything I can to be with you. I will fight for you. I will stand against the world if I have to, my sweet brother. This time I will not lose you, I wil give my all to you... You had my first kiss and you will have all my firsts. I know you were holding back before, and I know you didn't try to go further because you wanted to protect me. You didn't want to take advantage of me, but I want you, as much as you want me. Maybe even more.

Sometimes you can really be a knuckle head. I was so sad when you left. It felt like I was losing you forever. I felt so lonely without you. Everyday I came home hoping to see you. I used to wake up at night calling your name. Thank you so much for coming back. If you didn't come back soon, I was ready to go find you. I would follow you anywhere to be with you. I swear I won't let anything stand in our path. I will protect our feelings, this time we will be together. I will show you that I welcome your love. I will make you fall, even more, for me... I love you... I will prove it to you. I will make you mine.

 

[9thCrux]

I rewrote it real quickly just changing around commas mostly. Note - there are plenty of other ways to write this to improve the flow, and make it sound better if it were spoken. Mostly I just kept it as close to the original as possible.

My brother came back yesterday, I can't believe he is right here....

You've been away for more than five years, I missed you so much.... Mom convinced you to go to (CollegeNameHere/CollegeNameHere University/College in LocationNameHere - Saying 'that college' is gramatically dubious) I heard our parents talking about it, it was my fault...

Mom told you I was getting too attached to you. She said that it was in my best interest to put some distance between us, to let me learn to be more independent and help me get over my crush on you. But I still feel the same away about you... nothing has changed for me. After dad died you were the closest thing to a father I had left. You look like him, you sound like him, and you were so sweet and kind to me.

When I was sad you were there to comfort me. When I was scared you were tehre to protect me. When I was feeling down, you made me feel beautiful. You used to brag about how cute your little sister was, and you would get jealous when some guy tried to talk to me. You made me feel treasured. You cared for me and made me feel wanted.

Just looking at you is so soothing. You're just like dad, but closer to me, and within my reach. I want to make you mine. I want to do my best to make you happy... to make you fall for me.

I dreamt about this day, it felt like an eternity. But the wait is over and you're right here.... My dear brother is back, my beloved is back. This time I won't let you go away. I know you want me too. I know you only agreed to leave because you wanted what's best for me.

This time I will speak my mind. I will be honest with you and myself. I won't be afraid. I will do anything I can to be with you. I will fight for you. I will stand against the world if I have to, my sweet brother. This time I will not lose you, I wil give my all to you... You had my first kiss and you will have all my firsts. I know you were holding back before, and I know you didn't try to go further because you wanted to protect me. You didn't want to take advantage of me, but I want you, as much as you want me. Maybe even more.

Sometimes you can really be a knuckle head. I was so sad when you left. It felt like I was losing you forever. I felt so lonely without you. Everyday I came home hoping to see you. I used to wake up at night calling your name. Thank you so much for coming back. If you didn't come back soon, I was ready to go find you. I would follow you anywhere to be with you. I swear I won't let anything stand in our path. I will protect our feelings, this time we will be together. I will show you that I welcome your love. I will make you fall, even more, for me... I love you... I will prove it to you. I will make you mine.

Thanks for your help, I will review it and make changes to make a new story board.

 

[gamersglory]

A GTX 1080 With quality turned to 5 would explain the render time also de-grain adds a bit too. Your render times will get longer too the more assets you ad.

 

[Vivern1]

Looks prommising

 

[9thCrux]

Made a couple of renders for concept art:

A very assertive aunt.


Very basic setup and scene, just playing around with render settings. ISO seems to be a very useful one.