IHATESlowburnBluBallgames
Devoted Member
- Jun 11, 2020
- 10,880
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Apparently this dev has never done shots of whiskey or tequila, cause if he did he would know that she we would be either passed out, blacked out or puking her guts out.Imo, in order to save the novel, he needs to rollback to the neighbours house visit, restart from there in a more pause and clever way with a well designed timeline, and put this slutty material back by week 5 or 6 maybe, but not now.
All the boys thing is stupid if the woman is doing bizzare shit at day 4 or 5. One day she doesnt know what a selfie is, then she has the sluttiest red dress and goes alone to an orgy party with no reference of it at all. One day she is a prude at the car who thinks that a waiter putting his hand on her shoulder is almost an orgasm, but years before she was doing drug parties and hotwife shit at her honeymoon trip.
Dude, restart, get things on a paper first, ask people to read the paper, get feedback from friends but also from women and from people very different to you, improve it several times and then publish the new episodes (even the fucking Lord of the Rings got rewritten dozens of times before editorial approval). Stop this improvisation, doesn't work. Susan character is completely broken, and with the MC broken the whole novel is broken too.
How she is even walking and not slurring is a joke. I didn’t count all the shots She did, but did dev forget she had a bunch of shots at Jo’s before she even got to the biker bar.
Did he think they just wore off her? And what drug was slipped in her drink if she didn’t take the tablet the prospect crushed it up and still puts it in her drink( which will affect her bloodstream faster than swallowing it whole)
Was it meth, coke, ecstasy or some type of speed, maybe the date rape drug? What I’m trying to say is that dev acts like the alcohol doesn’t affect her which is bullshit