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Furabia

Well-Known Member
Donor
Jun 23, 2019
1,035
1,421
Just wanted to drop some initial reactions here. Overall the game does show promise, but I really felt a lack of refinement in the way the dialogue is being presented.

I'm finding that dialogue repeats itself a bit much and ends up being longer than necessary. Very verbose way of writing that honestly feels like padding. It is verging close to aggravating, using 2 or 3 lines to effectively convey the same thing that could be done in 1 line.

Also: Wake up, dialogue. Leave house, dialogue. Move screens, dialogue, Enter town, dialogue. Enter next area, etc etc... annoying the game stops you so much. And the lines in the box are horizontally long and seem to just fit 2 lines at most (which is unpleasant to read) instead of being in a more pleasant and compact book format.

Oh and in the first butt grope scene it's off-putting how the scene keeps switching from the standing sprites to the back ass shot. It is a special scene so the shot should remain on the focus which is the butt, or at the very least, use a trick and cut the screen in half, then display the standing sprites in one half, and the butt action in the other.
 

Ion.TemUS

Active Member
Jun 8, 2017
905
942
Just wanted to drop some initial reactions here. Overall the game does show promise, but I really felt a lack of refinement in the way the dialogue is being presented.

I'm finding that dialogue repeats itself a bit much and ends up being longer than necessary. Very verbose way of writing that honestly feels like padding. It is verging close to aggravating, using 2 or 3 lines to effectively convey the same thing that could be done in 1 line.

Also: Wake up, dialogue. Leave house, dialogue. Move screens, dialogue, Enter town, dialogue. Enter next area, etc etc... annoying the game stops you so much. And the lines in the box are horizontally long and seem to just fit 2 lines at most (which is unpleasant to read) instead of being in a more pleasant and compact book format.

Oh and in the first butt grope scene it's off-putting how the scene keeps switching from the standing sprites to the back ass shot. It is a special scene so the shot should remain on the focus which is the butt, or at the very least, use a trick and cut the screen in half, then display the standing sprites in one half, and the butt action in the other.
I agree on the middle paragraph about the control that the game takes away from you. I understand this is the tutorial/introduction section, so I get it, and I didn't mind it that much*, but I hope this changes later. Also some small tricks can really help improve the flow here. If you wake up and get the monologue (not dialogue) giving the player free movement might not be the best idea. You can just make the character move on their own without player input. This will also (in some RPG maker versions) allow the player to speed up the process of the character movements and dialogue by pressing down 'enter'. Once you left the house give the player some freedom to move on their own. Definitely room for improvement here.

I partially agree on the butt grope scene. It's not off-putting for me, but I can see OPs point. I still think the scene was very good, but I agree cutting back and forth too often can feel jarring. So maybe like OP suggested a split screen would do. Here are some ideas Id have:

1. Make the butt the background, half-screen, diagonal split, put the sprites in front of the background image. The composition would be something like this: left side: normal RPG maker map, characters on screen (on map), MC sprite on top - (diagonally split) - right side: butt groping, sprite of FMC and antagonist (depending on who speaks when) on top.

2. Start with map + sprites, go over to CG of the butt groping. put sprites on top when the important moments happen (he makes contact with the butt the first time, he goes deeper, etc. cause we need to see her reaction there).

3. start with map + sprites, go over to CG once he makes "contact". explain the subtleties and details. Then go back to sprites. from then on, have a (smaller window (square)) cut-in for whenever the groping escalates more or she shows a very sensitive reaction (like a battle cut-in for a special attack in a fight, just this time showing the butt and all that).

Some food for thought. All just ideas tho. I like 1 the most so far.

I disagree on OPs first point about the dialogue so far tho. I obviously will have to see more to be sure, but part of dialogue and scene-setting is also to ride home the important bits. Repetition is one way to do it. And in erotic scenes repetition (in moderation) can serve to emphasize aspects and reinforce effects. Obviously too much repetition is bad, but too little leaves you with a plain description of a scene and very short and aprupt dialogue and will leave the reader unsatisfied. You have to be able to find that middle ground and be a good tease. Repetition is part of that. But it is definitely not and should not be the only tool in your arsenal.
 
Last edited:

CulturedGamer

The Cultured Gamer
Game Developer
Nov 4, 2020
61
781
I agree on the middle paragraph about the control that the game takes away from you. I understand this is the tutorial/introduction section, so I get it, and I didn't mind it that much*, but I hope this changes later. Also some small tricks can really help improve the flow here. If you wake up and get the monologue (not dialogue) giving the player free movement might not be the best idea. You can just make the character move on their own without player input. This will also (in some RPG maker versions) allow the player to speed up the process of the character movements and dialogue by pressing down 'enter'. Once you left the house give the player some freedom to move on their own. Definitely room for improvement here.

I partially agree on the butt grope scene. It's not off-putting for me, but I can see OPs point. I still think the scene was very good, but I agree cutting back and forth too often can feel jarring. So maybe like OP suggested a split screen would do. Here are some ideas Id have:

1. Make the butt the background, half-screen, diagonal split, put the sprites in front of the background image. The composition would be something like this: left side: normal RPG maker map, characters on screen (on map), MC sprite on top - (diagonally split) - right side: butt groping, sprite of FMC and antagonist (depending on who speaks when) on top.

2. Start with map + sprites, go over to CG of the butt groping. put sprites on top when the important moments happen (he makes contact with the butt the first time, he goes deeper, etc. cause we need to see her reaction there).

3. start with map + sprites, go over to CG once he makes "contact". explain the subtleties and details. Then go back to sprites. from then on, have a (smaller window (square)) cut-in for whenever the groping escalates more or she shows a very sensitive reaction (like a battle cut-in for a special attack in a fight, just this time showing the butt and all that).

Some food for thought. All just ideas tho. I like 1 the most so far.

I disagree on OPs first point about the dialogue so far tho. I obviously will have to see more to be sure, but part of dialogue and scene-setting is also to ride home the important bits. Repetition is one way to do it. And in erotic scenes repetition (in moderation) can serve to emphasize aspects and reinforce effects. Obviously too much repetition is bad, but too little leaves you with a plain description of a scene and very short and aprupt dialogue and will leave the reader unsatisfied. You have to be able to find that middle ground and be a good tease. Repetition is part of that. But it is definitely not and should not be the only tool in your arsenal.
yeah i also am not a fan of how restrictive it feels in the demo and hopefully in the new version it'll feel better or rather it'll be a lot shorter and then the game will open up and you can kinda do what you want and have to interact with npcs to start things not just going from 1 forced cinematic to the next.

when there's more content and stuff to do in the game it'll also help alievate alot of those issues i think cuz atm thats kinda all there is.

i feel like the dialogue can be a bit bloated at times and with the way it's being writtten now should help with that issue as well but at same time it's like I think incorpoarating lore and world building into scenes is good as well which i know can be painful so now with the ability to skip people can skip through that stuff if they want i guess.

and going on with the narration it's been changed a lot to be more specific to the player's pov when he's involved in scenes so you don't get the whip lash when its changing like 3 different povs in one scene.
 

Ion.TemUS

Active Member
Jun 8, 2017
905
942
Wait so the dialogue from the guy groping and future ntr will be removed to keep the perspective hidden? I personally liked that.
Both can be cool tbh. I see three main ways to do it:

1. Cut out the FMC/antagonist interactions and have a mechanism in which the player can see those intereactions AFTER the fact. This would be the "hidden" version where you unlock the full scene after you have seen it in the resticted MC-POV and can access it via some external means like a CG/scene-room or a diary or some other form of interactible object in the game (examples: Henteria Chronicles, Scars of Summer, Nebel Geisterjäger)

2. Ask the player (either before each scene or just at the beginning of the game) if they want to see only the MC perspective or if they want the full (omniscient) perspective of each scene.

3. Give the player only the MC POV and then after the scene ask them if they want (now) see the FMC/antagonist POV.

All of these are great ways to do it. The wait time/payoff structure is just different.
 

Furabia

Well-Known Member
Donor
Jun 23, 2019
1,035
1,421
Both can be cool tbh. I see three main ways to do it:

1. Cut out the FMC/antagonist interactions and have a mechanism in which the player can see those intereactions AFTER the fact. This would be the "hidden" version where you unlock the full scene after you have seen it in the resticted MC-POV and can access it via some external means like a CG/scene-room or a diary or some other form of interactible object in the game (examples: Henteria Chronicles, Scars of Summer, Nebel Geisterjäger)

2. Ask the player (either before each scene or just at the beginning of the game) if they want to see only the MC perspective or if they want the full (omniscient) perspective of each scene.

3. Give the player only the MC POV and then after the scene ask them if they want (now) see the FMC/antagonist POV.

All of these are great ways to do it. The wait time/payoff structure is just different.
Having the freedom of choice as described in your option 2 would be cool.
 
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CulturedGamer

The Cultured Gamer
Game Developer
Nov 4, 2020
61
781
I hope, there will be a lot of new things and changes, cause it's 0.036 from 21.02.2023 soo.. 2 months. I haven't played this game yet cause it's very "early access". I really believe with your game :D. Keep it up
thanks man I appreciate it but you might be a little sad there were a lot of problems with the demo and I basically remade the game from scratch as it it had to be done either now or 6 months later which would of made it a lot harder, so there is new content but not a lot at this point
 
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