Ok, for new games I think I might enjoy I do a running commentary:
1) don't do "but something happened" make a reason, like "but her parents moved and we've been seperated until now". It makes it more believable and logical.
2) Childhood friend is perfectly fine, but call it something else: "she was my best friend while were growing up" Childhood friend is trope for "sister" in Patreon society. OR, if she's SUPPOSED to be your sister, then make sure there's a mod on F95 for it.
3) She's a cute render, well done so far!!
4) yes, please stop with the "childhood friend" it's just creepy... perhaps allow us to either define relationship or just call her "best friend" or something.
5) Ah, nice Lancy appearance from Mysterious Lewd Island! So cute!
6) Unless there's a hidden variable somewhere (Im not a programmer so I have no clue) don't make a "choice" a non choice. I mean, the result for shoosing yes or no is the same. Dont' do that. Either eliminate the choice or make it matter.
7) Not sure if it's a translation thing, but "boobies" is kind of childish, use tits or just boobs.
8) I'm not being critical here as I'm guessing English isn't your native language and that's cool, but if you're trying for a English speaking audience it's "take a SEAT, not take a sit" I've gotten used to it in many games that use translator programs, but just trying to be helpful if you're trying to avoid "engrish".
9) Here is the perfect opportunity for a nice "trade" with Bailey and a good point to keep your audience interested. Perhaps provide the option for a "trade" where Bailey gets corrupted in a trade with MC, some innocent rubbing to start progressing later to full on sex later in exchange for homework cheating. As it is, the player is left cofused. a) I want to tell her to F the F off, BUT I don't want to miss out on potential lewds, so you're kind of forcing me to play against myself here. IRL, I'd propose a "trade" sex for homework. If she doesn't, no harm no foul, if she does, lewd.
10) Perhaps give the option to NOT take the anti erection pill? I personally think that would be fun!
11) Eliminate options once you choose them unless there's further progress: EG: Talk to Alnna, then talk to Alanna remains but is the same.
OK, this has good potential! The renders are nice, the story concept in interesting. The writing is, sorry, rather basic but can be improved. The girls personalities are nice!
1) don't do "but something happened" make a reason, like "but her parents moved and we've been seperated until now". It makes it more believable and logical.
2) Childhood friend is perfectly fine, but call it something else: "she was my best friend while were growing up" Childhood friend is trope for "sister" in Patreon society. OR, if she's SUPPOSED to be your sister, then make sure there's a mod on F95 for it.
3) She's a cute render, well done so far!!
4) yes, please stop with the "childhood friend" it's just creepy... perhaps allow us to either define relationship or just call her "best friend" or something.
5) Ah, nice Lancy appearance from Mysterious Lewd Island! So cute!
6) Unless there's a hidden variable somewhere (Im not a programmer so I have no clue) don't make a "choice" a non choice. I mean, the result for shoosing yes or no is the same. Dont' do that. Either eliminate the choice or make it matter.
7) Not sure if it's a translation thing, but "boobies" is kind of childish, use tits or just boobs.
8) I'm not being critical here as I'm guessing English isn't your native language and that's cool, but if you're trying for a English speaking audience it's "take a SEAT, not take a sit" I've gotten used to it in many games that use translator programs, but just trying to be helpful if you're trying to avoid "engrish".
9) Here is the perfect opportunity for a nice "trade" with Bailey and a good point to keep your audience interested. Perhaps provide the option for a "trade" where Bailey gets corrupted in a trade with MC, some innocent rubbing to start progressing later to full on sex later in exchange for homework cheating. As it is, the player is left cofused. a) I want to tell her to F the F off, BUT I don't want to miss out on potential lewds, so you're kind of forcing me to play against myself here. IRL, I'd propose a "trade" sex for homework. If she doesn't, no harm no foul, if she does, lewd.
10) Perhaps give the option to NOT take the anti erection pill? I personally think that would be fun!
11) Eliminate options once you choose them unless there's further progress: EG: Talk to Alnna, then talk to Alanna remains but is the same.
OK, this has good potential! The renders are nice, the story concept in interesting. The writing is, sorry, rather basic but can be improved. The girls personalities are nice!
