VN - Ren'Py - Origin Story [v0.4.0] [JDOR]

This game has a great premise, an interesting plot and great character writing. I look forward to following its continued development. Its currently on the short side, but with the expansion of content it has the potential to become one of the best games on the site.

mostly great renders.

mostly exceptional writing, with the need for a proofreader for the rare typo or strangely worded sentence. overall outstanding.

the NTR thing... is up to the player. someone mentioned the restaurant scene. beyond her being horny, she doesn't do anything with anyone but herself unless you explicitly choose to allow it in advance. in fact, this is one of the rare titles that handles not only "kink on" scenarios, but also has fully fleshed alternative scenes for what you don't want to see. as someone anti-NTR myself, the only really uncomfortable moment in game for me was the spitroast scene with some schoolmates, which was a few seconds of oh, well, I guess she's not an LI and really wish I hadn't had to view that. not ideal, but not a showstopper for me, personally.

the characters are nicely developed for the little of the story we've seen so far.

the story itself is decent and has potential to become much more so, tho I personally could have dealt with a little less in exposition up front then flashbacks to catch up to the game starting point.

still, enjoying it so far and looking forward to more.

Review for Origin Story [v0.2.0]
PROS-
Great renders and stunning female models.
CONS-
This VN starts with an interesting story / overview then it becomes just another cliche VN with same old sex hungry step mom/landlady who flirts with waiter whatever you decide to switch voyeurism on/off and MC just watches her flirting with him and she has a sex scene with waiter or masturbates solo in toilet on your birthday based on your choices-pretty much lost my interest to continue after that but finished it in the end and a stupid annoying MC friend and horny virgin MC masturbating to all girls imagining them naked . None of the female love interest personalities were appealing / loveable which I would like to pursue .And free roam which was okay to play but there was no hint / guide like some other games , you have to roam around and hope you saw all the events before ending free roam. The writing of female characters and main character in this VN is a huge let down considering the interesting overview and story in the beginning.

This is a good VN. The story flows really well, and the scenes are as well.

Plot:
It's a coming into your own kind of story. Young adult facing the troubles of life the best way possible. Sex, power, and learning how to live life.

Characters:
Depth and development. Each character you meet is unique and different. Not the usual cookie cutter, cut and paste in other VNs out there. Each has their own story waiting to come out.

Review:
Good renders make this VN hit hard. Seamless transitions, and I didn't notice lag, skipping or missing content.
Characters mesh well with each other well. You even get the typical bully squads tossed in for more dynamic encounters.
Writing is smooth and well thought out. It helps guide the flow of the story.
JDOR, excellent job so far. I hope it continues with all future updates.
I highly recommend this VN. Yes, sex scenes are slow, but worth the wait.

I had more fun with this than almost anything I've played recently. Characters have personalities, setting is interesting, renders are good and frequent, no grinding, writing is actually engaging (!!).

You'll have to suspend your disbelief twice: once for the fantasy setting, once for a couple characters being willing to jump the MC's bones. But at least they're given characterization consistent with it, so it's miles ahead of the usual harem game.

Amazing how much the writing matters in a visual novel, huh. 10/10. Looking forward to the next update.

Absolutely phenomenal. Amazing renders, great power fantasy story, the characters are engaging. Can't wait about what comes next.

The only downside is the pussyfooting around incest/step-incest. It seems they're setting something up for it, but it still weird IMO.

The virginity talk is so exaggerated that it gets really boring after a while.Mc talks about virginity with almost every character he sees.

Mc is constantly in a position to embarrass himself.
On Mc "s birthday a waiter hits on his stepmother and Mc just watches and does nothing.
Mc's character is very weak, he has no control over anything.

No animation, just static images.
Mc is forced to sleep with several women.

The personality of some characters in the game is poorly written.
On Mc "s birthday, his stepmother has sex with a random guy in a restroom.

Your girlfriend is cheating on you mentally, but not physically, thanks to her superpowers.

There is also a group of superheroes who immediately spread their legs so that you can easily steal their powers.

They easily give their superpowers through sex to mc, a stranger they have never met before, maybe mc is a bad guy and will destroy the world.

I mean, the story doesn't make much sense.

My opinion about the game ( at the end of 0.2 ) with spoiler so dont read if you dont want to be spoiled ^^
the positive :

-Good rend and model, even though there's no animation, the sex scenes are pretty well done too.

-not usually a big fan of freeroaming but it's well used with some interesting flashback through pictures that made mc relive some memory, didnt see that in another game and it was good.

- if your here for sex their will be a lot since mc power is basicaly an excuse for him fucking everything that move to gain their power through sex.

-a world that could be interesting with some developpement about how it work, why power appeared and why some dont have power and things like that, it give more deep to the universe of the game

-Also some good background ost, nothing exceptionnal but still complement well most of the scene .

Now the bad

-The story: by itself isnt that bad and even try to go realy serious (especialy whit the kid who isnt in control of is his power who is brutally executed under the eyes of a helpless mc who tried to help him.

But most of the first chapter is mc whining about beeing a virgin.
and when you finaly get into the superpower part of the story, the girls that rescued you spread their legs far to easily to an unknown guy and let mc freely copy their power ( what could go wrong if an unknown teen copy power of the most renowed and powerfull superheroes and get free acces to all her abilities after all? ^^)

-Character : most of them are juste unlikable

Mc is basicaly a big stupid pervert with a giant dick who also apparently serve as his brain, even on the verge on death,the only thing he think about is that he couldn fuck his childhood friend even when she was right beside him and likely sharing his fate.
he peep on her guardian when she guetting fucked, sniff her panties and things like that and for most of the first chapter just wihning about his virginity.

Parker: Mc guardian and "mother figure", she also basicaly the town bycicle, guetting guys at home almost every day so that mc can hear all her moaning because she isnt quiet about it.
She act like some mother we see in some ntr game, caring and loving at first but when she have to chose between her child and a good dicking she chose the later (like during mc birthday when she abandon mc to go fucking a waiter that was hiting with no shame on her and Evelyn), and of course mc go peeping and is aroused by this when he supposed having a huge crush on her , big ntr vibe here.

Evelyn: the Childhood friend in love with mc without him knowing, they made a pact to loose their virginity together, she could have been a good character if it wasnt for her hypocrisy if you chose to not respecting the pact (even though she said to you it was fine).
She still use her power (reliving people she touch day with all the sentations) during 3 months by selecting people that fuck a lot, meaning that she had already a huge bodycount even if physicaly still virgin but still get mad at you for fucking your idol who was litteraly throwing herself at you.

Riley: Parker daughter, she seem fun even if we dont see much of her but she's there to reconfort mc and even try to give him some (shity) advice with Evelyn, but the intention is still good. Just that she's a work as a stripper so not everyone will like her.

Sisterhood girls: Only two with a minimum of development so far, Moonsong and Emerald, Moonsong trow herself on mc dick almost instantly (she dont even let him heal from his injury) and even if Moonsong had an excuse since she couldnt know, after that she realise mc power to copy other power through sex, she pushs Emerald to fuck mc so that a random teen will have two powerfull power even though she dont know him at all . She will try to study how mc power work but it still feel careless to let him copy all their power like that to begin with before even knowing him and start training him (since she want to recruit him on their team)

Amber: the only salvageable one, a good friend of mc and Evelyn, with a crush on mc but with some developpement about how she feel about her power and even hold back on mc for Evelyn sake. but sadly she dont appear much on the story .

So if you like a lot of meaningless sex scene with a bunch of slutty character , endless talk about sex (if you can go through the first chapter) and that the story isnt too important for you, you probably like it but if you care about story , well develloped and lovable character then you should pass on this game.

0.2.0 Review

This game has promise, but is held back by the bad models and lack of true realism.

There's no animations, the models appear to be Sub-Gen8, a lot of the story is either getting laid or becoming a sort of half-willing science experiment, and the powers are.....weird, not entirely useful. Moonsong's ability is certainly not useful enough for her to be a part of a worldwide or even nationwide all-girls justice league. not to mention someone like that Perez girl early on can stop time--that's way beyond anything the rest of the crew can accomplish, and the government should have nuked her in the face the moment her powers were discovered.

However, the sex scenes are fairly well done, faces are evocative and emotional, and though there seems to only be 1 or 2 "real" choices in the game so far, at least there are some.

There's just not really enough to this yet to justify anything, and some of the basic plot holes like that Perez girl or some of the stuff around Riley and his foster mother as well as the poor model quality, will hold this game back.

I'm gonna give it maybe 2 years, and if the dev is still working on it, then it should hold a lot more attention.

v2, Spoilers in the text

Hmmm, this is a 5 star with a questionmark.

A lot of it is calling for a suspense of disbelieve, for examples the virgin going in superfuckeroverdrive, the whole metahuman thing of course, and then some. But i *was* announced as a sexy superheroes VN, so that is alright.

I love the fact, that the women have their own sex agenda, even the submitting slut is using this (and thus MC) for her own joy. And science, of course.
Also refreshing is the direct talk about sexual needs and wants. I can't imagine being this open with people I don't know very intimately for some time, but good for them, I guess.
The choose-your-kink system seems ok and working, I do play those with all kinks on. Not because they are necessarily mine, but because I don't identify with pixels.

I'm not so sure about the story and the whole construction of the world. I choose to buy it, but it is not solid. And of course it is to good to be true, as we're hinted at the ending of v2.

The girls are nice, some very sexy. Over all i have no issues with the production. There where some moments where I was unsure if the game had hung itself, but it seems the "animated" sequences just take to long for my nervous clickfinger to start.

I can't say anything about sound or music, my audio was off.

5 stars for a story I found interesting to follow, sexy and sometimes witty girls and a MC that is not a total dickhead and solid graphics and presentation. Also, the update came not too late and was reasonably big.

A questionmark because I can't really decide if the story will hold up in coming episodes, could go both ways.

Where this tale excells where others in a sort of familiar theme have fallen short is character and good writing..
The characters so far have been well written, have a decent character back story and are not there to just provide sexual scene fulfillment..
The lack of animation is actually a good thing this time round as rather than adding sub standard scenes that diminish the quality of the product extra care has been taken to include better and sometimes well angled and staged renders instead.. something i wish more AVN creators would do if they dont have the talent or ability to create scenes correctly..
The MC still has some growing to do as sometimes he seems a little to big for his boots given the setting he is in and pardon the pun but a lil 'cock sure' of himself amongst such high profile superheroines.. Id like to see that part mellowed down a little to keep him likable and grounded going into what should be a really good story or even do a split path of ego vs hero paths if players want that divergence of character arcs
Good luck to the dev and i really hope this continues at a consistent rate as we have seen so far and keep an eye on that story as well as weaving in the lewd stuff to support it

Great story, lots of hidden storyline/history gems throughout, great graphics, and it really draws you in. I'm very excited for the next installment and learning more about the MC, his family, friends, and that one bitch that can stop time.

The Pros:

- The render quality.
- NTR/Voyeur switch.


The Cons:

- The writing
- The dialogue


This is one of those games where it looks badass until you play it. When I read the description about mutants and " The Superflu" I'm thinking I'm in for a treat but I was disappointed. The looks only will probably carry it this series but I tapped about due to the writing and characters. Majority of the conversation throughout this first release was sex and/or other people getting laid. It's as if someone's just discovered sex the way it was written.

The MC, a virgin (shocker there) spent most of the release either fantasizing about losing his virginity or openly speaking about it. And when he's not talking about sex practically everyone from his friends to his housemates are screaming how sexually liberated they are compared to the MC. Lmao, only 10% of the opening release was about mutants or the flu. I guess the prize is the MC getting laid, what's even more cliché is he has multiple suitors.

It just wasn't serious at all, we get introduced to the landlady or guardian and the MC states that she has this important job but none of that's mentioned much instead we see her act and behave like a teenager. There's a scene when a meta is killed and you think it's going to be a serious moment in the game but that of course doesn't last because the focus shifts back to whether or not the MC catches a boner from seeing his housemates in bikinis. Fake deep moment for nothing. Just unserious.

So other than the sexually liberated guardian and token stripper we have the virgin pact with Evelyn, invisible friend in Amber that likes the MC and the token weirdo male sidekick that unlocks the MC's inner voyeur. The dialogue had slang but it wasn't as cringe as I thought it would be. And the game ended on them finally focusing back on metahumans.

Maybe the next update focuses more, I can't say for certain. I'll put this one on ice for later.

Great start and a very promising VN. It's actually funny, sexy and pretty decently written. Can't wait to have more characters directly involved with this. I'll be following this one for sure. Keep up the good job, bro!

Review v.0.1.0

Honestly wish I waited for the next update before I played. I ended with the feeling of not being fully hooked, but wanting to see more. The cliffhanger it leaves off on and events I'd guess are coming next would have likely given me a lot more of a concrete opinion about the game.

Origin Story does feel competent enough in its writing. It's taking some time to build itself up, which is a positive in my book. The world kinda has a dismal feel to it honestly. The government is corrupt, people get sent to reformation camps if they cause any trouble, your social status is defined partially by your powers, constant stories of people dying in some horrid way due to them not being able to control their powers, etc etc. Not quite sure if I like that or not, hence wanting to see more. There is some comedy mixed it to beak it all up though, which is mostly working for me.

I'm kind of over AVNs making their young MCs have to constantly talk about how hot all the characters look when they see them, but the MC here is admittedly not nearly as obnoxious as others. Kinda feels like the stereotypical loser/pervert but he's accepted his fate an embraced it, which actually makes him feel a little better to play as funny enough.

Characters are a bit of a mixed bag for me. There's a couple design(?) decisions that just don't do it for me. Let's take a look at the flashback of the MC's birthday dinner because it encompasses about all of what I disliked. Your stepsister, a stripper, completely misses it to pick up a shift at the strip club. We then learn our stepmother was a former stripper and has fake tits. Cool. After that, she proceeds to flirt with the waiter back and forth until she eventually runs off to the bathroom to masturbate about it. Now I'm not about to cry about NTR or some bullshit, because that's not even what it is. But I simply do not find any part of that remotely attractive or whatever. If anything, it turned me away from both of them. Unlucky I guess.

Now at the same time, there's a couple characters I did enjoy. Specifically the invisible girl feels super unique. I'm actually really enjoying the way she's been written so far. Feels like she should be the main love interest tbh. That mini flashback scene with her was hot too. The best friend character isn't bad either but what's strange to me is her power. Every day she can experience exactly one day into the future of a person she touches, feelings and all. Which means the game has to tell us that even though she wants to give her virginity to the MC, she's actually experienced sex a bunch of times through other people. Idk, I'm just not into it I guess?

The team of famous heroines have only been portrayed as sexualized pinup girls essentially, so once again I'm kinda waiting to see what their characters will actually be like under the surface. That might be what makes or breaks this for me.

I talk more about my problems with this than anything, but I really didn't hate the game or anything. There are elements that feel put together better than the average AVN. Always like when games put effort into music/sounds as well. I really do just need to see more to decide if I'm really with this or not. Feels like the real hook of the game is coming next chapter, so here's hoping I like it.

Really good start. The dialogue is pretty funny, it's written well, the renders are good, and the premise seems interesting. It's a v The Boys-esque world, superheroes have become the norm in a very modern kinda way, and thats the backdrop to a kinda teen drama. Seems fun so far! Hope the rest is good

…and any old music will do! ~ Riley
Even if this were to be just another unimaginative origin story (X-Meh Boringins, anyone?), it'd still deserve high praise for it's dev notes alone. It does, however, offer an engrossing story full of compelling characters on the backdrop of a fascinatingly build world presented in high-quality renders. (Which likely disqualifies it for the aforementioned series, but I digress.)

It's most astounding feat is leaving me enthralled while barely spanning one rather ordinary in-game day. Granted, it rapidly picks up the pace near the end, most of the fun stuff is packed into the expositionary free-roam event. Exploring lore as well as characters by way of different media and flashbacks was quite interesting. It also led to my being emotionally invested in most of the main cast surprisingly fast. Very well done.

The game touches on a lot of interesting topics (sexualisation of female supers, social status mostly depending on factors outside one's control) which adds to the world building and also provides some food for thought. I hope to see some of these get explored further, like the downsides of certain powers are. Poor Amber.
Review based on v0.1.0 (initial release).

I want to like the game more, and it's a really nice start. It hits a lot of my interests but others not so much. I imagine there's an NTR path or something planned that's avoidable, which is great as I'll avoid it. Still you're in a family of strippers and have a stepmom who'll masturbate in a toilet stall if a waiter flirts with her. Not really my thing, though both are probably the hottest characters in game so far. Little irksome, but whatever, not everyone is a virgin waiting for the big dicked main character to make their life complete. The best friend at least scratches that itch, but I was looking forward to the super heroine team to show up which ends in a cliffhanger. A bit to Boys-ish that they all do lingerie shoots because I guess fighting crime doesn't pay the bills, but whatever. I'm willing to play more with hopes it'll be good rather than a tale of a monster dicked 20 year old virgin finally getting access to a bucnh of ran though girls with mutant powers. It's a little off putting, to me at least, that everyone seems to be a whore, instead of you and your weird virgin friend group who I guess are the last to party? I guess it all depends upon how good the party is when you finally get there.

My opinion ... a really well made start!!! The visuals of the game 9 out of 10 .... the story 9 out of 10 .... I don't know how long I've been playing now ... an hour or so .... missing animations? I don't care ... the story is great, there's something to laugh about and there's action too ... the only thing that stands out a little ... the MC sometimes looks a bit sickly in the face? But anyway, I can only recommend the game and if the next update stays at the same level, you'll have a new supporter.

After Reading the Dev notes I was well prepared for the AVN. My thoughts:
Pro:
- Nice renders, good models
- I love that you have more than one body type for love interests. Most just put the huge milk bags and nothing else.
- The story line is good and well thought out
- Not a sandbox game
- I love that you are working ahead so that gives me some confidence that this will not just suddenly go abandon

Con:
- You are correct that you are not an animator. I very much hope you get better.
- Some of what the MC says to his step-family is a little forward for my liking but not all bad

Over all I think 4 stars and maybe update to 5 with additional content.