- Dec 22, 2024
- 14
- 136
Sure, I had some saves, but dont expect me to bulldoze render)
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And there is a lot of the same when characters hit direct light of the sun. And found save with Norah monstruous nose I mentioned.
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Like really, change skin color to green and add warts, and you get a stereotypical disney witch)
I wasn't serious about that, I just expressed in a joking manner that I regretted my spent time on the game, nothing more.
Attention! long read!)
I'm not telling about making MC a true gigachad from the beginning, who knows everything and makes only right choices just like that; it would be boring too. I'm not arguing with that. I'm talking about portraying his naive and gullible nature as something that is already a good trait, which, in general, makes things only better, already appealing to the women around him and that there are no negative consequences of being a naive good boy in a harsh adult world.
Example: Juliana arc.
MC meets her only a few times, has a few talks, and makes her acquaintance. After that he goes to the gym to train with her, goes to the changing room where another gym worker tries to seduce him to work with her instead of Juliana. And after that shit hits the fan, a sudden fight between two girls, MC accidentally, but still gets punched in the face, then weak apologies and sudden soul opening from her to MC about how bad things work in her life. What goes from it? MC by himself proposes unconditional help for a pretty serious problem to yesterday's stranger. Who is she for him? What does he know about her? On what conditions can he trust her? It's only the player who knows that she is actually a good person in need, who deserves help and doesn't try to scam him or something, and in the end, MC 100% will get her pussy for all the troubles. But MC by himself don't know shit about her and situation in general. She is practically no one for him, and there is nothing more to it. And MC's only way to woo her in your story is to blindly propose a complete for him stranger to deal with her personal serious problem, from whom in the last 15 minutes he saw only a shitstorm of fucked-up events without any credibility behind her words that things really as she tells him.
How do people say "criticize? Then propose your solution" or something like that.
So, my proposition is to picture MC behavior and development in this way.
Let's go way back to the beginning. MC leaves the orphanage where he spent a peaceful and oversheltered childhood. He came to the town with his friendly and naive look at things and faith in a better life. Soon after arrival, some cute girl approaches him and asks him for help with something with big, watering eyes, MC jump to help without any questions and she lures him into a dark alley where he got mugged and beaten up by her friends. MC shocked about what happeed, how people can be so deceiving and evil and blah blah, and with time he slowly realize that the world can be very bad and hurtful place for ignorant and naive people like him and that not everyone is by default nice and decent people who deserve your help.
After some time he meets Juliana, and she tries to recruit him to work out with her in the gym, like it was in the story. He agrees cautiously because he doesn't trust strangers easily anymore, but in the end agrees because he wants to build muscles. Then MC, thanks to plot magic, sees Juliana's life from a distance; for example he lives in one shitty apartment block with her, he sees how the landlord storms her room daily to get rent money, how she has a good relationship with her daughters when they are goofing around somewhere near the apartments, how she buys only discounted stuff at the market, how she rejects on the stairs subtle advances and proposals of some moron to get dicked, etc. Then, during events in the gym, the gymslut still tries to woo him at her side, but MC sees through her "nice" words and the fake behavior the same rotten personality as the bitch from his first day, who scammed him into getting beaten up and robbed. He confidently rejects her proposals without even a shadow of doubt. Then the sudden appearance of Juliana, the girls fight, and MC ends it and tells Juliana that he didn't even think to work with someone like this slut and will be working only with her. She is happy, finally a guy with enough principles to reject gymslut and believes in her as a better trainer despite a lack of popularity. For Juliana it serves as a catalyst to open up to him after his questions about all this shitstorm and fighting.
She tells about stolen clients, that gymslut crushes her by whoring with her clients, and that Juliana never will sell her dignity that way to compete with her, that she has big debts, unpaid rent, two daughters to feed, and she doesn't know what to do but sincerely appreciates MC for choosing her over gymslut, and because of this she trusts him more than anyone else outside of family. Because of it, it's her who spontaneously and desperately asks MC for help with customers, and surely not for nothing; for example, he can use the gym for free through her member card +1, and on top of that, she tells him that she saw MC buying junk food in a grocery store, and she happily will cook for him nice healthy food, and he can eat together with her family at her place because they're neighbors, and that's literally everything that she has to propose to MC to agree to at least try to help her to get out of this dire situation. MC starts thinking about everything, remembers stuff what he observed about her, and the fact that her own words align perfectly with his observations, he defines that she is actually a good person in a very bad situation, without bullshit and hidden agendas to use or scum him, and ONLY after all that does MC decide to help. The ending of this event will determine the beginning of building their more close relationship because they will spend time in the gym, at family dinners, and when working on the solving her problem with a low client base.
MC begins as a naive loser - check
MC makes mistakes - check
MC learning from his mistakes - check
MC use brains - check
MC developing before and winning appreciation of a decent woman after? - check
MC growth - check
I didn't say anything about demanding or expecting a fuckfest from the game. But it wouldn't hurt the game to have more of the main content that sells this same game, especially after so much time. When writing the scene with MC massaging Julliana, nothing prevented you from delaying her daughters return for them to have a little happy time. Okay, don't want them to fuck yet? Let her show her honest appreciation for MC's deeds by giving him a "hand") and only after release, let daughters return home and see interesting scene. The use of cock-blocking scenes in adult games by itself is always a failed move.
I didn't mean in any maner insult or discourage dev's. Just played the game and wrote my honest opinion. I hope we understand each other. Maybe one day I will play your game again, peace dude and good luck
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