Hey
Lewtopia, I just played through a few different routes of your demo with my testing/proofreading glasses on, and didn't notice any typos.

I only found a few grammar issues that I can DM to you, if you want.
I liked what I saw so I joined your SubStar, and I'm tempted to upgrade after first/second regular release — if you can keep the updates flowing consistently.
One thing I missed early on though, was the ability to change the MC's name, and maybe also last name.
Since you mention it's your first game, I'll take a chance and drop some unsolicited tips for you regarding naming and formatting of names when used in dialogue — I hope you can use them

:
Input dialog for the script, asking the player to name MC (please note
style input and
style input_prompt doesn't inherit outlines etc. from regular dialogue/say style):
Code:
$ persistent.mcname = renpy.input("What is your name?\n(Luna, if left empty.)", length=20, allow="abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz-' ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ", default=persistent.mcname).strip() or "Luna"
$ renpy.save_persistent()
This would in turn require
character definitions.rpy to be updated with:
default persistent.mcname = "Luna"
define ln = Character("[persistent.mcname]")
You can do the same with the family name or surname:
Code:
$ persistent.surname = renpy.input("What is your surname?\n(Collins, if left empty.)", length=25, allow="abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz-' ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ", default=persistent.surname).strip() or "Collins"
$ renpy.save_persistent()
… and for
character definitions.rpy also add this:
default persistent.surname = "Collins"
define sur = Character("[persistent.surname]")
(I know it's a hack to use
Character for the surname, but it's a quick way for you to use
[sur] in the dialogue. Perhaps you can find a more propper way.)
The reason behind suggesting persistent names, is so they will also be used throughout any replay gallery you might add in the future.
You can of cause change the
allow="" to include accented letters if your font supports it, or remove the apostrophe, dash, or space.
If you wish to force the first letter capitalised (and all the rest as lowercase), you can add
.capitalize() just before
.strip() in the input dialog.
With this established, you can have characters address them as
Ms. [sur], or regularly as
[ln], or shout MC's name with
[ln!u], or if they are stuttering or cut off you can use
[ln:.3] to only write the first 3 letters, or combine them with
[ln:.3!u].