VN Ren'Py Pale Carnations [Ch.4 Up.5 Public] [Mutt & Jeff]

[RC-1138 Boss]

Yes... and no because Ian has a way to get in touch with his parents, not with him.

Yep. Guy is very likely using some cement shoes.

 

[Takkatakka]

Yes... and no because Ian has a way to get in touch with his parents, not with him.

That apparently no one followed up on his disappearance really needs a good explanation.

 

[Bebidabu]

i just join, it looks nice

 

[Turret]

That apparently no one followed up on his disappearance really needs a good explanation.

That is not very surprising! Beside that Darius fell in love with a house girl and wanted to get her out of this "den of sin", he certainly was not big on gaining friends or making a good impression. Hana disliked him even more than Ian(!) and even Ian himself was rather lukewarm when he told Edwin about Darius. Only after pushing Ian towards the reform path our bro starts to dig around himself too.

 

[ename144]

That is not very surprising! Beside that Darius fell in love with a house girl and wanted to get her out of this "den of sin", he certainly was not big on gaining friends or making a good impression. Hana disliked him even more than Ian(!) and even Ian himself was rather lukewarm when he told Edwin about Darius. Only after pushing Ian towards the reform path our bro starts to dig around himself too.

Technically Ian will still dig into Darius' papertrail even if the MC doesn't try to reform him (presumably he got a similar, if darker, push from Chuck's phone call in that case).

That said, I agree the relative lack of concern over Darius rings fairly true. From all accounts he was a very abrasive personality who tended to act on impulse. Given that he wasn't from the area originally, it's no surprise most people would accept it when he apparently pulled up stakes and left; they were simply happy he was gone. Ian was the only person who might have reason to look into it, but Ian is both lazy and confident the Club would never do anything... drastic. He probably looked at it as giving his friend space and assumed Darius would call him when he wanted to talk about it. By the time the lack of communication would have become suspicious Ian had moved on and no longer considered Darius's departure relevant... until the MC *forced* him to reconsider the whole event in a more sinister light.

Overall the situation makes sense given the people involved. Personally I think the biggest question in the sequence is why the MC is suddenly so obsessed with Darius just because van Doren raised the subject during his visit. Unlike Ian, the MC was new to the Club when he learned of Darius' disappearance. He didn't have time to build up a casual comfort with the criminal enterprise before being asked to consider how far it would go to protect itself; indeed, he immediately accuses Kathleen of foul play the instant he learned Darius was blackmailing her. If the MC was willing to turn a blind eye to the whole thing after that revelation I don't see why van Doren's cryptic clues would instantly make it a priority. Sure, van Doren obviously wanted the MC to connect the dots, but it's unclear why the MC trusts him enough to let that warning override the tacit decision he'd already made about working for the Club.

I presume the idea is that Abel's visit was sufficiently traumatic that, like Ian, it shook the MC out of the complacent rut he'd fallen into, but I think both the rut and the trauma were a little underplayed. On the other hand, I say that as someone who loathed the Club from the get go so it's entirely possible my own agenda is coloring my take on the MC's complacency.

Either way, it's not a serious problem and it certainly supports the game's pacing to bring Darius to the forefront now.

 

[Takkatakka]

Personally I think the biggest question in the sequence is why the MC is suddenly so obsessed with Darius just because van Doren raised the subject during his visit.

I don't know about you, but I would probably want to know if the guy I essentially replaced at work and who lived in the same apartment than me, was murdered by my employer or not after he disappeared without a trace.

We'll see what his parents say and why they might have never looked into his disappearance (or maybe they even did).

 

[RC-1138 Boss]

I don't know about you, but I would probably want to know if the guy I essentially replaced at work and who lived in the same apartment than me, was murdered by my employer or not, after he disappeared without a trace.

We'll see what his parents say and why they might have never looked into his disappearance (or maybe they even did).

Same. Also pretty sure that is the reasoning Edwin is using to motivate this investigation.

 

[TD1900]

I presume the idea is that Abel's visit was sufficiently traumatic that, like Ian, it shook the MC out of the complacent rut he'd fallen into, but I think both the rut and the trauma were a little underplayed. On the other hand, I say that as someone who loathed the Club from the get go so it's entirely possible my own agenda is coloring my take on the MC's complacency.

Either way, it's not a serious problem and it certainly supports the game's pacing to bring Darius to the forefront now.

You pretty much got it.

When Edwin learned about it from Kathleen, his suspicion of her was just an idle intrusive thought caught between his anger at the old woman phoning up his mother. But Abel brought it to the forefront of his mind. One, it's like "hey", someone just came into your home like it wasn't even a thing. Two, he purportedly found spying devices. And three, after that revelation, he hammers home the criminality of Edwin's new associates. That idle thought suddenly becomes more tangible, and less buried underneath all the excitement (and navel gazing) that kept his suburban ass conveniently preoccupied.

Whether that is sufficiently conveyed in the text isn't for me to say, but that's the idea.

You kinda hit on my main concern when writing the recent scenes. Whether or not it was unduly traumatic, but I was worried that it might be overplayed against Edwin's characterization before Abel's visit. I.e., it happens, he panics, calls Ian in the middle of the night, and sweeps his house for bugs the next day. The disconnect between Edwin before Abel's visit and after and whether it sufficiently bridged the two.

 

[Turret]

Personally I think the biggest question in the sequence is why the MC is suddenly so obsessed with Darius just because van Doren raised the subject during his visit.

Beside the most stupid or dark variants of Edwin, Abel and Sophia´s visit most certainly would be a wake-up call! Just think about it:
- Abel is the CEO of a medical empire, Sophia his right hand and those two take time out of their surely rather busy calendar to "home invade" an, by even his own admission, quite average guy/student for an "educational" chat. They could have sat on their knowledge without problems, why warn/educate Edwin at all? Them doing this should hammer home how earnest the situation is or can become one day.
- Abel and Sophia have their own shady sides, but it becomes clear that they are at the Club for different reasons than the normal member/customer. In addition, the longer the story goes on we can learn that van Doren and Sophia dislike, even loath the PC leadership. Them being there is for business and/or currently unknown reasons only.
- Sophia and Abel might want to recruit Edwin for their plans or simply warn him since he a)knew van Doren and is a bit of a fanboy early on and b) our MC clicks with Sophia, which should be a rare thing given her personality.

 

[ename144]

You pretty much got it.

When Edwin learned about it from Kathleen, his suspicion of her was just an idle intrusive thought caught between his anger at the old woman phoning up his mother. But Abel brought it to the forefront of his mind. One, it's like "hey", someone just came into your home like it wasn't even a thing. Two, he purportedly found spying devices. And three, after that revelation, he hammers home the criminality of Edwin's new associates. That idle thought suddenly becomes more tangible, and less buried underneath all the excitement (and navel gazing) that kept his suburban ass conveniently preoccupied.

Whether that is sufficiently conveyed in the text isn't for me to say, but that's the idea.

You kinda hit on my main concern when writing the recent scenes. Whether or not it was unduly traumatic, but I was worried that it might be overplayed against Edwin's characterization before Abel's visit. I.e., it happens, he panics, calls Ian in the middle of the night, and sweeps his house for bugs the next day. The disconnect between Edwin before Abel's visit and after and whether it sufficiently bridged the two.

You may have overplayed the MC's reaction a little, but as I said I think it mostly works. The only wrinkle I see is just how well Abel hammered home the criminality of the Club. To me, Hana's encounter with August's old friend was a bigger wake up call than Abel's unsupported speculations, so that's when I would have started panicking.

But that's me. I've consistently been less comfortable working for the Club than the MC has been; I don't need the money the way he does and most of the Club's perks are things I actively avoid. I can see why he might be willing to cut it more slack when a problem arises, and/or why he'd be more surprised when Club business literally forces its way into his living room.

- Sophia and Abel might want to recruit Edwin for their plans or simply warn him since he a)knew van Doren and is a bit of a fanboy early on and b) our MC clicks with Sophia, which should be a rare thing given her personality.

Hey, speak for yourself. Your MC might click with Sophia, but I sincerely hope mine does not. Even if I liked her personality, trying to roofie my avatar is something of a black mark. The less I have to interact with that woman the better.

 

[Ungawa]

Well... One thing we all know about Sofia...

She really likes salad dressing

 

[Ottoeight]

I think Edwin's "red alarm" reaction works perfectly fine to me.

Let's sum up the events from a good guy "gameplay" point of view (meaning: you have high affection points with every girl, Ian is your bro, low toughness points):

the old bitch phoned your mom, then she told you Darius blackmailed her, then he vanished and you took his place + you met those mobsters at the club + you care for Hana + Hana got involved in the club + they filmed you while you were having sex and they told you they were going to sell it as a porn + they drugged you with a test drug!!! + you care for Rosalind + her loan shark beat up your ass + old Abel entered your house while your were shagging Mina in a hotel room, told you that you HAD to come back home + then you discover your apartment was bugged + old Abel "explains" to you that the club security guys are murderers and the big one who loves beating women is a hitman (most likely Hana's dad too) = BIG RED ALARM

 

[Takkatakka]

Honestly just having a bunch of foreign people waiting for you in "your" apartment would be enough for most people be quite shocked, I think.

Yes, technically it is the apartment of the club and Ian showed up "uninvited" before, but I think the visit by Abel and Co. pushed that towards a whole other level and showed Edwin how vulnerable he is living there. Spending the night at his mom's after that was a very natural reaction, in my opinion.

I mean there are people who pretty much have to sell their house after a break-in because they just don't feel safe anymore.

 

[ename144]

New dev diary today!

Spoiler: Dev Diary 64*

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

As TD already calculated, he and GIL have added 163 statics, 16 animations and 5214 words in the three weeks since the last update. That works out to an average of roughly: 54 statics, 5.3 animations, and 1740 words per week over that period; or 96 statics, 3.4 animations and, 2390 words per week since work on Chapter 4 Update 4 began. Here are the charts for Week 9:

Spoiler: Charting the Insurmountable Opportunities

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

As TD noted, production of statics and Words has dropped off a little relative to historical norms, but I'd say we're still making good progress and the animation rate is strong even with the apparent difficulties. I'm confident the end result will be worth it, and I'm curious to see if my expectations for these events bears any resemblance to what TD implemented. My excitement for the new update remains safely above the mandated requirements.

 

[Ungawa]

I think Edwin's "red alarm" reaction works perfectly fine to me.

Let's sum up the events from a good guy "gameplay" point of view (meaning: you have high affection points with every girl, Ian is your bro, low toughness points):

the old bitch phoned your mom, then she told you Darius blackmailed her, then he vanished and you took his place + you met those mobsters at the club + you care for Hana + Hana got involved in the club + they filmed you while you were having sex and they told you they were going to sell it as a porn + they drugged you with a test drug!!! + you care for Rosalind + her loan shark beat up your ass + old Abel entered your house while your were shagging Mina in a hotel room, told you that you HAD to come back home + then you discover your apartment was bugged + old Abel "explains" to you that the club security guys are murderers and the big one who loves beating women is a hitman (most likely Hana's dad too) = BIG RED ALARM

I feel that this is far more relevant to read now that you put what you put...

Because... Those signs were RIGHT THERE for everyone to see... Like... How did no one else put two and two together?

 

[Takkatakka]

And I don't even have a save that is set-up for the E/R/I threesome.

 

[Ottoeight]

Hey, speak for yourself. Your MC might click with Sophia, but I sincerely hope mine does not. Even if I liked her personality, trying to roofie my avatar is something of a black mark. The less I have to interact with that woman the better.

Our bro Turret fancies the idea of Edwin being intimate with a woman who is poisoning him with an experimental untested drug...

I'll say: NOT ME!

 

[RC-1138 Boss]

Our bro Turret fancies the idea of Edwin being intimate with a woman who is poisoning him with an experimental untested drug...

I'll say: NOT ME!

I fancy the idea of giving Sophia and Abel a horse dosage of their drug. Let's see if they like it.

 

[Turret]

You kinda hit on my main concern when writing the recent scenes. Whether or not it was unduly traumatic, but I was worried that it might be overplayed against Edwin's characterization before Abel's visit. I.e., it happens, he panics, calls Ian in the middle of the night, and sweeps his house for bugs the next day. The disconnect between Edwin before Abel's visit and after and whether it sufficiently bridged the two.

Hi TD!
I think you have written it quite right. It might be a bit overeager by Edwin, but we have to remember depending on how we played him and that in the beginning he trusted Chuck quite much, Abel and Sohpia´s visit IS a wake up call. For example, while my Edwin was cautious from the start he also tried to keep some modicum of good relations with his bosses. He knew that the there was something shady gong on, but he did not know how much. Meeting Otto and some of Kath´s "ideas" was his first warning signal, Abel and Sophia finally hammered it home fully.

Hey, speak for yourself. Your MC might click with Sophia, but I sincerely hope mine does not. Even if I liked her personality, trying to roofie my avatar is something of a black mark. The less I have to interact with that woman the better.

Hey, it is only a bit of Chaos! It is just that our MC defiitely has a connection with Sophia. We can see this this during their "nerdtalk" in the bar and not just there. Later in the blue room, Sophia as the inventor of this "special" perfume could without problem sat the handjob out, Edwin got from Kath. Instead she jumps into the "fray" and you two can undertake quite a makeout session. A cold and calculating woman as Sophia is simply could have stood aloof, she did not.

There is a reason why I argued in our discussions that the Top 3 LIs for a goodish Edwin are Hana, Felicia and Sophia. But I also see why some other players prefer to not becoming closer to Sophia.

 

[Ungawa]

I fancy the idea of giving Sophia and Abel a horse dosage of their drug. Let's see if they like it.

You already saw her take the drug