Quetzzz
Well-Known Member
- Sep 29, 2023
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By popular demand... Here we go.Curious to hear @Quetzzz follow up from the previous chapter.
I haven't replayed chapter 1, but I skipped through it to check for changes. The wording of a few sentences was changed, but conversations still largely happen the same way. Because I haven't re-read everything, I could be missing some connections.
- "not your actual father", "not your actual sister"... This should've been clearly communicated in chapter 1. If the MC isn't their biological child, either he'd still call them father/sister, or he'd call them by their name. If the MC actually describes them as "my not actual father did something", then he literally doesn't consider the man his father and would've used the man's name instead. (see suggestion below)
- The chat with Agnes is good exposition otherwise; we finally know for certain that the MC was a student and had a job.
That said, it would stand to reason that Agnes would know more about the MC's home situation, since she found him when he was homeless. - Agnes trying to seduce the MC into staying is great characterization. The MC refusing it is as well. The man has his priorities.
- Good cinematography with Alex Campbell; this is how you do establishing shots.
- While we don't know what Amanda's deal is, she is consistent. I don't get the impression she hates the MC specifically; it could be more about feeling unsafe around men in general.
- Rosie having her own room at Ela's house hints again that her father died a while back. Regardless if this is true, this needs to be cleared up. Timing matters. Maybe Rosie couldn't find the MC? Perhaps Rosie didn't want to contact him, and Ela had to talk her into it? Or she did contact him right away after all. Though seeing as nobody is even hinting at being in mourning, I doubt it.
- I think Yola and Leon are supposed to be the good guys, albeit with their own vices? Damaged people trying to do some good for the community?
- Amanda's "so she didn't come home last night" is probably about Yola. Does that mean Yola is staying at Ela's as well? Wouldn't Ela have mentioned this to Rosie and the MC so they wouldn't be surprised seeing another woman there?
Note: Ela mentions Grace if we decide to rest instead of checking up on Rosie, but I doubt Grace is sleeping in the same room as Amanda. - If we choose to check up on Rosie, then meeting Amanda the next morning feels off. They talk as if their meeting last night didn't happen, with "That's right! We actually met the other day, on my way home." It's worded as a realization instead of communicating a fact.
- Ela says that Amanda is "one of her tenants". This highlights that the information the player gets is too dependent on the choices they make. This wouldn't be bad if we had a way to predict what each choice would do. But, as it is, we can't know that Ela will come to our room if we rest or that we'll meet Amanda if we go to check up on Rosie.
It's important that information gets exposed consistently. If we checked up on Rosie, then Ela should mention Grace now. - "Ooh, right. You do have some time before school starts." Nobody said anything about the MC going back to school, but the MC just agrees with this. His plan was for Rosie to go to school; it didn't include himself.
Instead, he could push back on this and argue that he was planning to look for a job and finish his degree when he has the means, that Rosie is his priority right now. Ela could say that he's living under her roof and won't have to worry about expenses and can finish his degree. Of course, Ela might not even know that the MC was in college. This needs to be established.
Note: I didn't "get some rest" but "check on Rosie", but even in that conversation, Ela just knows that the MC will be attending college. - "I mean, I understand what happened back then. But where the fuck did you go?"
Given his problems at home, it's not far-fetched that the MC was a delinquent and was around similar people. The issue remains that we're not being told any specifics about what happened 5 years ago and the trauma he suffered. So why should we care about any of it? You could be forgiven for thinking that the MC has a past of (petty) crimes and deserved everything that happened to him. That he could've been the kind of youth that gets sent to military school to straighten out.
Instead of keeping the entire history a mystery, I think it would be better to hint at specifics so we can at least gauge the severity while keeping the details and motivations a secret. It matters less what the MC did than why he did it. - The cliffhanger was fine, but also fairly meaningless. I suspect Yola knows about the MC and just realized that he's that guy from five years ago. This could tie into Amanda's reaction toward him.
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While I'm enjoying the choices and getting significantly different scenes, I also think the dev needs to pay more attention to the information that's conveyed in each. At a certain point, the MC/player needs to be told all the basic information they missed by making a choice. But, not only the player, other characters as well. If you don't rest in the room, the talk between Ela and the MC about going to Winclair never happens. That's not good.
This goes against my preferences, but for the structure of the game, I think it'd be better if the choice about resting or checking up on Rosie isn't offered. Just let Ela come in, then go downstairs to meet Amanda on the way to checking up on Rosie. Not only would this make the content longer for a single playthrough, it also guarantees that basic information gets conveyed.
Graphically, I have no remarks. Posing, models, cinematography, environments... They're great. I also like the named save with the chapter/scene filled in.