Cartageno

Devoted Member
Dec 1, 2019
8,766
14,878
First: copying Ayhsel's disclaimer at least in spirit, the following is my opinion, not fact.

1. Gracie death was extremely weak, emotionally. We spent only 5 minutes with this character with barely any character development. All we know about her is she's a virgin and falls in love way too quickly. Her sole purpose was to bear the MC babies and die. She's like a character in The Walking Dead who is only introduced to be killed off. The letter she wrote did not hit me in the feels because I didn't care for her because we spent no time getting to know her. If anything, it made me roll my eyes because the writer expects me to be sad with no work on his part to make me feel sad.
You already mention with The Walking Dead kinda the example I would've been going for with another TV series, Star Trek. Sometimes you have to show that something is serious, so you have to get somebody killed. Not of the main cast, they're needed in future episodes. But not only the proverbial redshirt as well, because they're just collateral damage. So you introduce somebody, give 'em a bit of screentime, have a laugh with the captain and a heart-to-heart with Guinan about their mommy at home, maybe help O'Brien solve a minor problem. It still doesn't really work as a total heartbreak, people usually will not care enough. And it can't, you still need time for the heroes to save the day, there's never enough time to make people really care about the new guy. Admittedly, the time constraint does not exist in a VN, it could go on for as long as you want it to, but having a three hour introduction before the main story begins may also put people off. And the VN does not have the luxury of a bit-by-bit introduction in a couple of previous episodes.

But it's also damned if you do, damned if you don't. Other games have had major things happen to well introduced characters, and the shitstorm came running (Haley's Story, Acting Lessons).

So no, it is not the "killer heartbreak" in and of itself, and actually it can't be. But as it is, I think it's par for the course. Other games introducing deaths or other traumata early on get similar results (Wicked Rouge and Sunshine Love come to mind, albeit the latter is only half your family moving away one day to the next). Professional series don't get better results. So I kinda see your point, but I don't think it's really avoidable, and I think the scene in question was well written in this game.

2. Choices break character hard. I like being given choices in a VN but not ones that go so far against what a character would do that it makes other characters (who mind you, knows the MC better than you or I at that point) shocked that he would behave that way. I'm talking about the scene with the old buddy cracking a joke at you and you get the choice to chew his ass out over it. I feel sad for the old guy, having an undiagnosed psychopath as a "friend".
As others have said, there are multiple issues with this scene yet to be resolved in game. At the same time, for me in VNs in general choices also have a retroactive aspect. You're not only saying what you say at that precise moment, but you also define the chemistry between the characters over the previous years, which can't be seen in game. So whether I make a snide comment at an old friend, or a sympathetic one, or a joke, or don't react at all, that's "how it's always been" to me, it's my chemistry with the character, this kind of banter is why we are friends in the first place, because we both know it works that way.

Admittedly, having a character act totally against type in a choice without further explanation can sometimes be jarring. The shy type suddenly being boastful, the outgoing successful lawyer not able to open his mouth. So I see what you mean.

3. The cliffhanger is a terrible cliffhanger. We didn't know we killed anyone and we don't even know this random lady who came to knock on our door. Also, this whole thing is way too similar to how the MC finds out he has daughters. The three of him knock on his door, he opens, they drop the bomb on him. In the cliffhanger, she knocks on his door, he opens, she drops the bomb on him. What's next, will she ask to come live with him too? Maybe he'll catch her sleepwalking naked as well. Also, the two bombs were horribly spaced apart. It's better to take one conflict at a time. The current conflict is learning how to be a father, but now this shit comes and hijacks the story by making him feel guilt about something that happens years ago. Either it's a nonissue and there is no point in introducing that character, or she takes up time that should have been spent with the daughters instead.
I actually don't care much about the cliffhanger. It is, in the end, one novel. How a chapter ends doesn't mean much, when the book is finished I can immediately get my resolution. This is only interesting while the game is in development.

I honestly don't understand why she isn't just his normal GF. There ist literally no reason for their relationship to be a one night stand.
If they would have been together for lets say 2 or 3 years, this whole thing would have had more weight. He still wouldn't know about his daughters and everything else would be literally the same.
Maybe it's because the dev didn't want the MC to remember the mother?
I doubt that everything else would be the same, the dynamics would be different. You would probably know your potential in-laws. Your friends and family would know about Gracie. So knowledge about your kids would have to be avoided by some convoluted reason. Also I don't think that "This is your gf of 5 years. You love her very much and care about her. Now she's dead. You're sad." would have more impact on the player.

Not saying your idea isn't feasible, but I just don't think it would solve the problem in question better without having other open questions to answer for.
 

Hordragg

Lesser-Known Mesmer
Donor
Compressor
Apr 2, 2019
3,007
10,768
This is the joke he cracked

View attachment 731055

Understandable the MC might react to that and tells you that he killed someone in the accident
So the MC knew, you knew, Bernie knew, we all knew
I don't think that's really true. At least not the part about us knowing.
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Spfjolietjake

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 26, 2019
7,515
14,666
I don't think that's really true. At least not the part about us knowing.
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I chose the dark response to him, didn't put 2 and 2 together til the end of the chapter. That said i miss alot of things and sadly will never be a detective because I'm easily distracted by shiny objects and such...
 
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AvatarStormBringer

Well-Known Member
Dec 20, 2019
1,213
1,262
I chose the dark response to him, didn't put 2 and 2 together til the end of the chapter. That said i miss alot of things and sadly will never be a detective because I'm easily distracted by shiny objects and such...
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The eyes, look at the eyes!
 

_Goldie

Newbie
Nov 28, 2018
53
491
Guys I hope all you Paypigs are supporting this, this game is too good to let the developer lose interest.Do not let this one fall.
I, like Squark, am also supporting this. I only wish I knew how to put the fancy orb under my name xdd
 

Ayhsel

Chocolate Vampire
Donor
May 9, 2019
4,915
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Alfagrem

Member
Aug 23, 2017
171
293
Dev's did too good a job at setting the story up.

I'm so depressed about how Ellie's life panned out after prom night that I just can't bring myself to play the game after I get her letter.
 
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Konstantinus

Engaged Member
Feb 25, 2019
2,322
2,154
Dev's did too good a job at setting the story up.

I'm so depressed about how Ellie's life panned out after prom night that I just can't bring myself to play the game after I get her letter.
Seems I am not the only one who feels like this.
 

Badjourasmix

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 22, 2017
7,100
16,026
Yeah I hope the game doesn't stay too depressing, MC still has to deal with the mother of the guy he killed in the accident. But after that I hope the game gets a more positive vibe. I don't want to be sad when I play porn games.
 
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