VN Ren'Py Abandoned Rememberless [v0.2] [Clausdesska]

Chimba · Aug 6, 2022

clausdesska said:
if you don't like a character you can avoid it, that's my plan.
the tag is not found because it was what I was recommended in a thread I made, for example if there was no lewd scenes not to place the tag.

the MC thing is something i am testing and i prefer not to show it. but if people don't like it i will add it in the ecenas.

but in the lewd ecenas I will put it.

Hi, yes the tags that appear above in OP can only be added if there is content for that tag.

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But here

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you can edit the Genre section and add Planned tags: ..... (there you can add the tags that you know or believe the story may have)

Regarding the mc thing, maybe it doesn't seem weird to others,but these 3 scenes seemed weird at least to me

that's why I thought maybe you were working on it or there was some bug in the game.

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Anyway good luck.

Tuperr0 · Aug 6, 2022

Niceeee

QaliberDK · Aug 6, 2022

Amnesia themed VN's have been done many times, probably because it has potential to go in pretty much any direction, there's a lot of possibilities in it and i honestly don't mind another one.
But... As the dev mentions, the english isn't good.
I don't think the writing is particularly good to begin with and if it's poorly translated to top it off, it becomes kind of a mess.
At times, i struggled to make sense of the dialogue. The renders aren't great but that isn't necessarily an issue, if other aspects of the VN are good but there's a long way to go. The name is kinda odd but that can actually be an advantage, as people are more likely to remember it.
In short, there's room for improvement in all areas and most of it is no big deal, however, the writing is a dealbreaker for me.
It's in dire need of a proofreader or dedicated writer.

Kurokazewa · Aug 6, 2022

If the title is any indication, then the level of Engrish is gonna be impressive. I'll give it a shot though and just hope that it won't be the most interesting thing in the game.

Diconica · Aug 6, 2022

Rememberless? That should have been a warning to me.
My head hurts from the elementary school writing.

Clearly the writers first language isn't English.
So that leaves me with a question is this a translation or him trying to write in English?

Not to be mean.
If he is writing in English I suggest taking some actual course in English writing. Not from a foreign school check out the free university courses in the US that are online. It might be a bit more work but at least they won't be writing something that barely makes the grade above MTL or having sentences like "Have a sit" rather than "Have a seat".

The biggest problem is the dialog is clunky has poor flow sounds unnatural for the way actually people talk in English unless they are very young children. My son at age 3 could talk better than this. That's not a joke or meant to be mean. It's a fact. Granted different children learn at different rates. Which is why above I mentioned elementary school. In the US you are expect to read and write better than this by 5th grade.

Diconica · Aug 6, 2022

Kurokazewa said:
If the title is any indication, then the level of Engrish is gonna be impressive. I'll give it a shot though and just hope that it won't be the most interesting thing in the game.

I had the same thought. Tried it. It was highly indicative of the dialog.

ClockworkGnome · Aug 6, 2022

JohnJG said:
Another memory loss game?

I have completely lost count of the number of similar games like this. I really just can’t remember anymore.

It's perfectly understandable. All the blood flow to the groin is depriving the brain of oxygen, so of course memory loss becomes a common problem!

micxz · Aug 7, 2022

Feels like it you rushed this game.

voyeurkind · Aug 7, 2022

Beyond improving the English, readability is an issue. Not having a text box means the text disappears frequently into clothing and other background objects, making some sentences impossible to read.

You might also consider changing the font.

Before I Forget · Aug 7, 2022

I've seen games with more amnesia storylines than the soaps.

IDontGetWomen · Aug 7, 2022

Am I dumb or does this game not genuinely have worse translation than those shitty MTL RPG games?

Demoness_Kiss · Aug 7, 2022

this game is unplayable, not for the grammar, but because of the lack of a black dialogue box-thingy(i suck at explaining but white words on a bright background, are unreadable)

clausdesska · Aug 8, 2022

Demoness_Kiss said:
thank you very much for your comment
I have solved the problem by changing the font and add outlines
all the advice I received will be fixed for the next version.

DarkDaemonX · Aug 16, 2022

In that case I will wait until the next version to play this game.

estrada777 · Sep 1, 2022

Updated Android port. Nothing too fancy but let me know if you have any issues.

Version: 0.2

Appreciate my porting? Leave a Tip! You're supporting my efforts, paying for storage, and encouraging more ports!
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