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CharleyT

Active Member
Jun 12, 2018
767
340
nice game.
however please fix these relationship names - landlord and landlady, tenants, neighbour
it is obvious that this is family (mom, dad + 2 kids) & that lisa is MC's sister.
Yes, I'm confused too...shouldn't have the "incest" tag unless we can restore relationships.
 

Obsis

Newbie
Feb 24, 2018
21
67
Code:
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
  File "game/Locations/Cafe/maid/Cafe maid events.rpy", line 29, in script
    jump maid_work_uneventful
ScriptError: could not find label 'maid_work_uneventful'.

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
  File "game/Locations/Cafe/maid/Cafe maid events.rpy", line 29, in script
    jump maid_work_uneventful
  File "D:\Downloads\SinfulValley-0.1-pc\SinfulValley-0.1-pc\renpy\ast.py", line 1633, in execute
    rv = renpy.game.script.lookup(target)
  File "D:\Downloads\SinfulValley-0.1-pc\SinfulValley-0.1-pc\renpy\script.py", line 875, in lookup
    raise ScriptError("could not find label '%s'." % str(original))
ScriptError: could not find label 'maid_work_uneventful'.

Windows-8-6.2.9200
Ren'Py 7.1.3.1092
Sinful Valley 0.1
Mon Apr 01 22:57:25 2019
Have that thing after certain point
 

PandaLulz

Assets Grabber
Uploader
Aug 18, 2017
1,259
7,461
Female protag point of view is a good spin from the usual slew of games. Looking forward to it.
 

ssrrxxbr

Member
Oct 20, 2017
106
214
I can not understand this games with the main character being a girl ... having NTR as one of the fetiches (unless that is netori ) .. because the character you control (the girl) is going to be the one who is going to fuck anyone she wants...
 

ssrrxxbr

Member
Oct 20, 2017
106
214
Because that's the only good kind.:sneaky:
There is no such thing as good or bad kind in relation to sex between adults .. (yes. I know this is just fictional sex) it depends on personal tastes .. for example this sex scene in your signature .. I do not like this type of fetishes .. but if you like..have fun ..:)
 

XJ347

Member
Sep 19, 2017
408
1,386
OK lets see how this starts.

  • Player named character tend to lead to generic bland protagonist, expecting the player to insert themselves. Personally I like background so you can role play a character and not yourself.
  • Writing early on is showing lack of mastery if syntax. "People is" Don't you man People are? While one time slip ups are fine, but it's a major distraction if it happens over and over.
  • Premise is good but with poor execution. Idea is that new laws make women second class citizens, but fails in logic. This is only happening in this city? To make this work you need to have a revolution to explain why social norms can change so much so fast.
  • Early stage of the game, so place holder info is shown... Maybe the game shouldn't have been released so early.
  • Seems like different breast sizes but overall same body size. Sizes D cups and up from my guess. Obviously I would like more diversity, while having someone skinnier with smaller breasts (non-loli) and a thicker frame for the women who have the biggest of breasts. Still a few bonus points for different breast sizes.
  • Uses art instead of CGI. I have no problem with that, but you need to draw art for characters people talk to. This is a MAJOR issue as it breaks immersion when you can't see who you are talking to in person.
  • Plot is stumbling around. MC is surprised that people are opening having sex, then why didn't she and her husband leave if this was unacceptable? Once again this goes to poor execution of the plot. It doesn't make sense as is. My revolution idea does because then the whole country is like this. Then act shocked that this happened to her country.
  • They rent this house??? Then why not move if they double the rent... I think they mean it has a mortgage, but the translation is converting it to sounding like rent. Wait, that makes no sense because mortgages are mostly fixed and with banks. Something is wrong here and I cant tell with the bad translations.
  • Game becomes a life sim of sorts... Lacks actions to do and random events. Thing is you do the same thing with no real options every day. Better if this was a narrative game and not making us walk to work every morning...
  • To avoid incest they call the mom landlord? /sigh It's bad.
  • Logic just goes out the window. Boss uses his position to exploit and message/grope you. OK sure... Day 2 you voluntarily BLOW HIM???? WTF!!!! This makes no sense and ruins any positive feelings to the game. I know this is supposed to start the cuckold part of the game, but the manager hasn't earned sex from us. If you make it blackmail then that's fine but that isnt what this is, he didn't ask for sex, you just gave it to him when you act a prude the ENTIRE game.
  • Note, this is going to be cuckold and not NTR. NTR is about jelousy, this seems to be going to humiliating the husband which is cuck.
  • Just got a bug...
  • Game ended when we ran out of money but I choose to do anything for money when given the option...
I think I could like this if the writing was better translated, game mechanics are also poor, and not enough art. As is it's bad, 2/5 but with potential to improve.
 

MaraTDuoDev

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Dec 4, 2016
1,584
2,515
OK lets see how this starts.

  • Player named character tend to lead to generic bland protagonist, expecting the player to insert themselves. Personally I like background so you can role play a character and not yourself.
  • Writing early on is showing lack of mastery if syntax. "People is" Don't you man People are? While one time slip ups are fine, but it's a major distraction if it happens over and over.
  • Premise is good but with poor execution. Idea is that new laws make women second class citizens, but fails in logic. This is only happening in this city? To make this work you need to have a revolution to explain why social norms can change so much so fast.
  • Early stage of the game, so place holder info is shown... Maybe the game shouldn't have been released so early.
  • Seems like different breast sizes but overall same body size. Sizes D cups and up from my guess. Obviously I would like more diversity, while having someone skinnier with smaller breasts (non-loli) and a thicker frame for the women who have the biggest of breasts. Still a few bonus points for different breast sizes.
  • Uses art instead of CGI. I have no problem with that, but you need to draw art for characters people talk to. This is a MAJOR issue as it breaks immersion when you can't see who you are talking to in person.
  • Plot is stumbling around. MC is surprised that people are opening having sex, then why didn't she and her husband leave if this was unacceptable? Once again this goes to poor execution of the plot. It doesn't make sense as is. My revolution idea does because then the whole country is like this. Then act shocked that this happened to her country.
  • They rent this house??? Then why not move if they double the rent... I think they mean it has a mortgage, but the translation is converting it to sounding like rent. Wait, that makes no sense because mortgages are mostly fixed and with banks. Something is wrong here and I cant tell with the bad translations.
  • Game becomes a life sim of sorts... Lacks actions to do and random events. Thing is you do the same thing with no real options every day. Better if this was a narrative game and not making us walk to work every morning...
  • To avoid incest they call the mom landlord? /sigh It's bad.
  • Logic just goes out the window. Boss uses his position to exploit and message/grope you. OK sure... Day 2 you voluntarily BLOW HIM???? WTF!!!! This makes no sense and ruins any positive feelings to the game. I know this is supposed to start the cuckold part of the game, but the manager hasn't earned sex from us. If you make it blackmail then that's fine but that isnt what this is, he didn't ask for sex, you just gave it to him when you act a prude the ENTIRE game.
  • Note, this is going to be cuckold and not NTR. NTR is about jelousy, this seems to be going to humiliating the husband which is cuck.
  • Just got a bug...
  • Game ended when we ran out of money but I choose to do anything for money when given the option...
I think I could like this if the writing was better translated, game mechanics are also poor, and not enough art. As is it's bad, 2/5 but with potential to improve.
In order:
  • I don't see why the name makes the MC more bland? is just a variant that changes her name and thats it lol Although I guess she could have like an alias or go into details of how "fun" or "ironic" or something related to her name if it was unique, I don't really think that affects it too much, or should.
  • Yeah parts of the writing are done by me, and I'm not a native speaker (specially for this demo since when it was being finished, there were some unnacounted texts that I had to write without editing at the end, mostly non-story texts)
  • It doesn't says nor mentions that womans are second class citizens, it just loosens laws related to prostitution, public sex, etc. Which of course means more "sexploitation" of women, even if technically you could do it to men too. I already have a game with more political nuance and I didn't wanted to go that deep in regard to those in this game since I am not the only writer. Although if you wonder: Laws changed like a year before the game starts, and more than "norms changing fast" is "exploitation going fast by non local investors". Simply put, it was a city with very cheap property value before the laws changed, so once that happened a lot of people with money rushed to buy and build new businesses, which in turn made rent higher for locals that couldn't afford it, and that lost their former job due to these changes.
  • As I mention, this is not "the demo" but more than a protoype: I need to test throughly if everything works fine (The UI, the map, the events, etc.) and although I did a lot of testing (I played the entirety of the game like 3-4 times, saving and loading different routes many times too just in case) I still missed i.e. an error. Also, the overall idea is out, so I can get feedback about some stuff before we develope too much, i.e.: People complaining about the grinding, we could structure our story and progress better having that in mind, or redo some of the initial stuff considering that.
  • Ah yes, well the idea is to have a bimbo version for the MC and Terah in the future, the art is already prepared to do such variations in the future. It's more fun IMO to have certain say on how they look (if all the games I've worked have something in common, is transformation and corruption)
  • It was planned, and I may do it in the end, add "generic portraits" (maybe 3-4 faceless portraits) for manager and random people, but yeah, the only people that will have proper art, and will be in your contact list, etc. will be your family. You can think of this game like one ala President yukino (or any game by "Acerola") + an actual story with your family.
  • They do actually mention that they dont leave because this is where they were born and they love their city, more of a nostalgic view, and they also mention that even if that wasnt the case, they dont have the money to just leave like that. A lot of poor people live in shitty cities (or countries, for that matter) they hate and they just cant move because they cant afford it.
  • No, they rent the house, what is weird about that? That's why they have an actual landlord. I'm not sure if where you live is that different than here, but here is pretty common to rent a house, unless the problem is the word "rent", but AFAIK there isn't. Also, they increased the rent everywhere, since property values are sky rocketing, so again "just move somewhere else" isn't an option, and if anything, they are also kinda optimistic anyway, so I don't see why they would just give up absolutely everything like that.
  • I agree, there is a lot of stuff that needs to be done, small interactions, events, etc. I will work on that in the future, for now though we already got the basics (map, UI, interactable locations, etc.) ready, which is what mattered for this release.
  • This is common, I will repeat what I said in the last message: Patreon doesnt accepts incest, so this is how its gonna be. There will be a patch in the future. People really needs to understand and stop complaining about this, is not like we have a choice on the matter.
  • I wrote it in a way that it wasnt just plain harassment, I had help of a writer/woman to get the early setting done, so it wasnt just a guy harshly harassing here and abusing, and IMO is not bad. Going to be gropped by him is 100% optional, you can just avoid him if you want, so if she is willingly going back, I don't see why you think its bad. It is faster than I like it, but then again, to arrive to this point you already have to have played 2 weeks in game, and that's a lot of time for most people, so it is a hard set a proper pace, because otherwise it could be an entire game just for her to accept to go with someone else. Think of Leanna's slice of life, where the recently wed protagonist gets fucked in like 7 days and is eager to go to orgies in like 2 weeks. Is not 100% realistic, but this isn't an incredibly slow paced VN either, but I understand that this is the problem, and personally I am still thinking if the pace is too fast or too slow, and if so, how to properly adjust it before we keep going forward.
  • Who says there isnt going to be NTR tho :sneaky: just, maybe, not the husband...
  • Ah yeah fuck, there is no game over screen. You can screw the payment once but not twice, well good observation there lol
 
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MaraTDuoDev

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Dec 4, 2016
1,584
2,515
Ok apparently you need to be @MaraTDuoDev to answer. Is the game going to be mostly NTR?
sorry yeah there were a lot of answers and I went to sleep before I could answer everything :p but yes if you @Me I definitely will answer lol.

I mean i guess depends how you define NTR... the story is going to be mostly about the MC and what she decides to do: She'll be able to cheat on her husband, she'll be able to corrupt her family, or she'll be able to improve her family life without giving up all of her values ("all" being the key word, because things are changing, and whatever she likes it or not, she'll have to adapt too)
 
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RedPillBlues

I Want to Rock your Body (To the Break of Dawn)
Donor
Jun 5, 2017
5,059
12,554
sorry yeah there were a lot of answers and I went to sleep before I could answer everything :p but yes if you @Me I definitely will answer lol.

I mean i guess depends how you define NTR... the story is going to be mostly about the MC and what she decides to do: She'll be able to cheat on her husband, she'll be able to corrupt her family, or she'll be able to improve her family life without giving up all of her values ("all" being the key word, because things are changing, and whatever she likes it or not, she'll have to adapt too)
Good to know! Let me be more specific then, is most of the content going to be her cheating on her husband? Most being more the 50%.
 

XJ347

Member
Sep 19, 2017
408
1,386
I'm just one man. Others will disagree with me. I'm not trying to be a dick, I am just trying to help.

IMO if you want to skirt around incest then don't do incest. It's like battle royal games at the moment where there is so much incest that it doesn't have as much punch as it used to, and only good if you are exceptional. Apex is great, but feels like it's only good, while Battlefield BR is ok but feels like garbage. To me, adding incest would only harm the product. The focus should be either incest and not about corruption or the focus is about something other than incest and then you shouldn't have incest.

My issue with the boss. Let me explain a little more. My issue is that the scenes feel awkward and also goes from a 2 to 9 in intensity overnight.

Starting with my awkward point, if this is a corruption game then you should get fondled by the boss. Then the player chooses what to do about it. Players actions are reactionary, they should choose how they react. We are playing the housewife, not the boss. The boss then will react if she rebuffs the message then he might chooses to not grope anymore. As players we shouldn't be picking what happens to us by others. Do you choose to get mugged when you walk to the store? No, it happens to you and then you choose what to do about the mugging, fight, flight, or freeze up.

Second point is that if you put up with the boss fondling for a job that you need, that feels appropriate. The next logical corruption step is to give a back rub back. Then the next day the boss might push it further to taking his clothes off for the message, THEN on the next day he might press his luck and ask a blow job or be fired. Saying that going from being groped to giving oral when it wasn't asked for makes no logical sense.

Note if you wanted the boss to be a nice guy where the MC has an affair with you need to throw in some romance first. There is zero reason to suck his dick here, and good guys will not grope employees unless it is consensual.

If he is a bad guy then he will exploit your weaknesses and corrupt you into performing sexual favors for employment. So he starts with a grope and then slowly gets you used to doing more and more. The key word is slowly. You don't see a teenager lose her virginity and then two days later be in a porno gang banging 20 people, it just doesn't happen.

I think your project has potential but small details are important to creating immersion, and as is I don't understand your world, nor characters actions. Feels like 1+1=3 at times and that confuses me. Well good luck on your project.
 

MaraTDuoDev

Well-Known Member
Game Developer
Dec 4, 2016
1,584
2,515
I'm just one man. Others will disagree with me. I'm not trying to be a dick, I am just trying to help.

IMO if you want to skirt around incest then don't do incest. It's like battle royal games at the moment where there is so much incest that it doesn't have as much punch as it used to, and only good if you are exceptional. Apex is great, but feels like it's only good, while Battlefield BR is ok but feels like garbage. To me, adding incest would only harm the product. The focus should be either incest and not about corruption or the focus is about something other than incest and then you shouldn't have incest.

My issue with the boss. Let me explain a little more. My issue is that the scenes feel awkward and also goes from a 2 to 9 in intensity overnight.

Starting with my awkward point, if this is a corruption game then you should get fondled by the boss. Then the player chooses what to do about it. Players actions are reactionary, they should choose how they react. We are playing the housewife, not the boss. The boss then will react if she rebuffs the message then he might chooses to not grope anymore. As players we shouldn't be picking what happens to us by others. Do you choose to get mugged when you walk to the store? No, it happens to you and then you choose what to do about the mugging, fight, flight, or freeze up.

Second point is that if you put up with the boss fondling for a job that you need, that feels appropriate. The next logical corruption step is to give a back rub back. Then the next day the boss might push it further to taking his clothes off for the message, THEN on the next day he might press his luck and ask a blow job or be fired. Saying that going from being groped to giving oral when it wasn't asked for makes no logical sense.

Note if you wanted the boss to be a nice guy where the MC has an affair with you need to throw in some romance first. There is zero reason to suck his dick here, and good guys will not grope employees unless it is consensual.

If he is a bad guy then he will exploit your weaknesses and corrupt you into performing sexual favors for employment. So he starts with a grope and then slowly gets you used to doing more and more. The key word is slowly. You don't see a teenager lose her virginity and then two days later be in a porno gang banging 20 people, it just doesn't happen.

I think your project has potential but small details are important to creating immersion, and as is I don't understand your world, nor characters actions. Feels like 1+1=3 at times and that confuses me. Well good luck on your project.
yeah as mentioned, I agree its "fast paced", altho thats why I mentioned other fast paced games like Leeana's.
One of the reasons why it is fast paced is because of the art, because having a lot of in between scenes would be costly and, even if money wasnt an issue, it also takes a lot of time, which is why sometimes you need to skip some steps. It is not the best, and again one of the reasons to take the prototype out is to see the pacing and see if something should be done about it before continuing with the main story.

Games like DMD are very slow paced, but also producing stuff in Daz can be significantly easier, or at least cheaper at times (my other game, take over, has over 2k images already, and since I do it myself, its very cheap, and can produce over 150 images per month), so yeah, it is hard to get the right, sweet spot.

About the incest, a patch can just change all the references to landlady, etc. and thats it, really not a big deal
 

TiffanyMonroe

Forum Fanatic
May 29, 2018
5,766
13,805
There is no such thing as good or bad kind in relation to sex between adults .. (yes. I know this is just fictional sex) it depends on personal tastes .. for example this sex scene in your signature .. I do not like this type of fetishes .. but if you like..have fun ..:)
As a woman, I'm right 99% of the time so it's bad to have a different opinion.:whistle:
 
3.10 star(s) 9 Votes