HTML Abandoned Sistersitting / Housesitting [Day 11 Scene 01] [i107760]

[lionarslan]

Text-only game, 2.5 months between updates.
Dev said it's more than 7.5K words. To me it speaks nothing, book publishers measures in thousands of symbols. Let's make a rough recount. Middle length of word in English is 3-4 symbols, consider spaces make it 5 symbols. 75 000 x 5 = 375 000 symbols. 40K symbols is apporiximately 23 book pages in A4 (that's for for Russian text, I suppose for English it's slightly different), 375 /40 *23 = more than 215 pages.
i107760, you rock! Many famous authors can only envy your speed. More than 200 pages in less than 3 months - that's something. The only thing that bothers me - it's just the first week and the volume of text is close to some well-known book saga. And how I see it - it's either graphomania and it means it's hard to read or the numbers dev uses have no connection with real length of text.

 

[i107760]

it's either graphomania and it means it's hard to read or the numbers dev uses have no connection with real length of text.

I just look at the amount of words my text editor tells me, it's a bit inflated due to including the code as well (but there's not that much code, since it's pretty simple). Not sure how many words are in a normal page of a book, never really thought about it. I expect it to take a bit more than 30 minutes to read the new content.

 

[blinky2310]

Text-only game, 2.5 months between updates.
Dev said it's more than 7.5K words. To me it speaks nothing, book publishers measures in thousands of symbols. Let's make a rough recount. Middle length of word in English is 3-4 symbols, consider spaces make it 5 symbols. 75 000 x 5 = 375 000 symbols. 40K symbols is apporiximately 23 book pages in A4 (that's for for Russian text, I suppose for English it's slightly different), 375 /40 *23 = more than 215 pages.
i107760, you rock! Many famous authors can only envy your speed. More than 200 pages in less than 3 months - that's something. The only thing that bothers me - it's just the first week and the volume of text is close to some well-known book saga. And how I see it - it's either graphomania and it means it's hard to read or the numbers dev uses have no connection with real length of text.

Your maths is out mate. You have added a zero.

 

[hiddenbird]

I really liked the diary!

I think that something that might improve it is more pages. Have her write about the shower. Have her write about seeing her housemate jerk off. Have her write about jerking off. Have her write about talking with Sarah about the date. Have her write about Sarah making a joke about "oh, I already saw how he likes to be jerked off" and getting heated about it.

(additionally, in the choice to watch a porno, give two or three choices of pornos to watch... something with POV blowjobs or something where two people are showering or maybe underwater sex or something. Pick a scene from Day 8 and Day 12 and Day 15 and have the choices of porno be about that. And customize the diary page to coincidentally mention something related to whichever porno got picked.)

 

[i107760]

I really liked the diary!

I think that something that might improve it is more pages.

You reminded me that I wanted to create a poll to ask for feedback on the diary, thanks for that. Can't promise I'll implement your exact idea, but more pages will surely come as I skip more days. I'm not sure about covering information already described in the boy's PoV though, but I will give it some thought.
We might see some days that are part diary, part normal writing, not exactly sure how those days will look, need to experiment with it when I get there.

Glad to hear you liked the diary, and found it interesting enough ^^

 

[KDBA]

Typo report, final page of new update: Also, in the car, I asked $siName if she was wearing makeup this Saturday

 

[i107760]

Typo report, final page of new update: Also, in the car, I asked $siName if she was wearing makeup this Saturday

Thanks a lot, will fix it right away, though I will probably not upload a new version (perhaps if more typos are noticed ^^).

 

[hiddenbird]

You reminded me that I wanted to create a poll to ask for feedback on the diary

I am one of the unequivocal "yes" votes.

 

[CareBearII]

Thanks a lot, will fix it right away, though I will probably not upload a new version (perhaps if more typos are noticed ^^).

One simple typo like that I would just fix it in the next full release.

Was not sure if I was going to like the format you have done it in (HTML) but it works well enough to get the story across. Thank you for putting the time into it.

 

[TheAshina]

That probably said numerous times before but I think this game, at least, needs 1 drawing for 1 uptade so reader can visualise things a bit easier. I don't know you guys but I think It's pretty hard to visualise someone from nothing and kinda get horny/ or grow a feeling for it.

 

[Vizer007]

So, what exactly is there? Just Mast. and a bit of "skin showing" for now? I am asking since there sometimes missing tags and all, just in case.

 

[PhoenixAgain]

Text-only game, 2.5 months between updates.
Dev said it's more than 7.5K words. To me it speaks nothing, book publishers measures in thousands of symbols. Let's make a rough recount. Middle length of word in English is 3-4 symbols, consider spaces make it 5 symbols. 75 000 x 5 = 375 000 symbols. 40K symbols is apporiximately 23 book pages in A4 (that's for for Russian text, I suppose for English it's slightly different), 375 /40 *23 = more than 215 pages.
i107760, you rock! Many famous authors can only envy your speed. More than 200 pages in less than 3 months - that's something. The only thing that bothers me - it's just the first week and the volume of text is close to some well-known book saga. And how I see it - it's either graphomania and it means it's hard to read or the numbers dev uses have no connection with real length of text.

You added a zero, making it 75,000 instead of 7,500. So by your count for Russian, it's ~20 pages, which is pretty similar to English. In English, it's ~250-300 words per page, which comes out to 25-30 pages.

 

[lionarslan]

Your maths is out mate. You have added a zero.

Thanks for pointing that out. Without that zero it's another situation. 37.5K symbols for me is a month maximum of work. When I wrote 4 days a week couple of hours in late evening. And I didn't see it as work, writing is my hobby. And, of course, I never did it for money. So dev surely is not in a hurry. I suppose after a year or two game will have enough content for me to play. Now it's only 6 days for half a year of real time.

 

[victorydale]

Really enjoyable so far!

The quality of the writing IMO more than makes up for the fact that there are no images - I feel like I already have a mental picture of each place the story has gone so far and the characters who've been present. As someone who grow up with similarly distant parents the emotions the MC express are very well executed and I appreciate that so much pagespace is devoted to fleshing out the relationships rather than just jumping into the saucy bits. The mood and feel of the story reminds me of a longform brother-sister story I read on a chan board back in ~2007-2008. I haven't read anything since then that scratched that particular itch so it is great to have something similar out there!

Regarding the diary, I like having it there to give insight to the sister's thoughts, though I do think it could be contextualized into the novel a bit better - I'm not sure exactly how, however. I immediately went to MC snooping and coming across it, however it seems like that would be a touch out of character for him. IDK, seems like it could be improved but I'm not quite sure how it could be improved.

 

[i107760]

And I didn't see it as work, writing is my hobby. And, of course, I never did it for money. So dev surely is not in a hurry.

It's a hobby for me too, and I don't have a couple of hour per evening to work on it. More like a couple of hours per week. I'm not doing this for the money, or looking to make it my job.

So, what exactly is there? Just Mast. and a bit of "skin showing" for now?

Pretty much. No actual sex, yet, MC kissed a girl this update, that's about it.

That probably said numerous times before but I think this game, at least, needs 1 drawing for 1 uptade so reader can visualise things a bit easier.

I have no graphical skills, and hiring an artist is way too expensive. Not to mention, finding someone to work with long term is pretty hard, and I wouldn't like every image to have a different art style, so it's not all that easy and I've pretty much given up on finding one.

IDK, seems like it could be improved but I'm not quite sure how it could be improved.

I feel pretty much the same way, plan is for me to take another look at it and try to figure out where it can be improved. But, I'm decently happy with the votes on the poll since very few people seem to absolutely hate the way it handles skipping a day, which is its main purpose.

 

[Biff4444]

Great update again! The date scene was very well written and reminiscent of the awkwardness of learning how to date. It also continued the "slow burn" of sexual tension you have going in the story, and I'm looking forward to reading what Sarah's surprise will be.

Regarding the diary, I think it's a great way to "skip through" what would otherwise be a relatively uneventful and/or "ordinary" day, as well as to get some insight into the sister's point of view of what's happening. To integrate things a little bit better, I would just make it a bit more clear at the beginning of each entry that the events are picking up where they left off the night before. That wasn't 100% clear to me right away this time, but could probably have been accomplished by her writing about how she woke up in her own bed instead of her brother's, and wondering how it was that she got there.

Also, a much more minor point about the diary: If you could include a "Next" button at the bottom of the page as well as the top, that would be appreciated.

Overall, I'm very much enjoying the story and looking forward to the next update. Keep it up!

 

[Mokey]

MOAR!!

 

[i107760]

...

Thanks for the feedback, I'll take it into consideration when I take another look at the diary.

Also, a much more minor point about the diary: If you could include a "Next" button at the bottom of the page as well as the top, that would be appreciated.

Honestly, right before I intended to publish the update, I realized there was no way to go the next scene on the diary page. I had only looked at the diary as its own thing so far, so I quickly added a button somewhere that did not look too awful.
I didn't want to delay publishing the update to rework the diary's UI, but it's something I will have to take care of for the next update. Don't really have a plan yet, but going to next scene will be easier.

 

[GameBearKingdom]

Here is the full image and you can find more here

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[dengandos]

Anyone know how to make patch work on android browser?