I've been following the creation of this project since its infancy, and I'm really happy to see this thread being created.
While I'm a fan tho I won't refrain from chastising you, and a few points brought up above me make a lot of sense.. I'll re-arrange them/add a few of mine as well without a particular order.
While I'm a fan tho I won't refrain from chastising you, and a few points brought up above me make a lot of sense.. I'll re-arrange them/add a few of mine as well without a particular order.
- Typos. I'm talking about the first person singular not being capitalized and similar. If you need a proofreader I'm more than happy to help, but my main language isn't english and for a game such as this one I think you need a good writer.
- The Main Character. Honestly I think what you're creating requires a LOT of work and planning, with most of the routes not being available in just one walkthrough; for this reason I don't think a MC is required(too confusing and, imo, kinda useless), and you could just introduce the characters through the barmaid and let her "focus" on particular characters to get an info dump about them.
- Clear "ending of the Alpha-test" screen. It's nothing major but instead of putting the option of playing as Kevin you might as well label a button as "End of the Alpha, let's try a different path".
- Sex-iness. Or lack thereof. Honestly it's to be expected since this is a technical alpha, not a release version, but I strongly advise you to either add thoughts of the character in the scene (not description of vague fantasies, but the exact fantasies; it will be more wordy, but I think it's worth it) or more dialogue between the actors.
Having the first story from a Male pov is literally you choosing "hard mode" while developing a game, because most of the players are here, as you recognized yourself, for boobs. Ofc your aim is to make something deeper than what a 2min search on the web can get you, but since there is an abundance of porn games you should try to capture the interest of the viewer in the first minutes of playing, either through stunning animations, writing or concepts. The choice is up to you, but pick one(or more if you can).
