My internet has behaved today
Mega
weirdly, I didn't get an email notif for this one like I usually do
Might as well translate that for lazy people.
New Squeezer: Bouncy Succubus. Ass Attribute, Seal 6.
Ability 1: Squeeze 2, generate 1, unseal 1. When unsealed, minions you summon this turn gain +1 ATK/LIFE. Can't stack.
Generic. That unseal ability is... kinda strong. Buggy, too. It claims not to stack, but I saw it summon a 3/3 Slime. Also, how it's programmed triggers Squire, because why not, right?
Ability 2: Squeeze 2, unseal 2. When unsealed, squeeze 4 and summon 'Ass Slave Crest' to the target's field.
Ass Slave crest makes ass attacks unblockable against you and gives them +1 pursuit. ...Might actually be worth casting this on yourself sometimes, Pursuit is Pursuit.
Ability 3: Big Breast only, Squeeze 2. Target a minion on the field that cannot act, it can act again.
Iron is coming. Your pelvis is forfeit. ...Plus, Haste-in-a-box when you don't have Schoolgirl lined up. Stacks with it too.
Co-Op Ability: Ass Attribute, requires and consumes the action of a Black Iron Succubus. Squeeze 4. You may choose one minion from your hand, summon it, then destroy it. For each squeezer that is Unsealed involved in this action, do not destroy the minion, but grant it +1 Durability and Haste. Then, both squeezers unseal 2.
Certainly an... oddball ability. From the hand? BB'd Nurse will love this, of course. Also, reincarnation go brrrr.
Finally, new to the game, Bouncy has a Passive ability: When Unsealed, every time you summon a minion without 'Mirage,' draw a card.
NUTS. Absolutely insane. Spam harder then you've ever spammed before. Incredibly, this triggers on Slimes splitting, which I bet will NOT be allowed to stand. Will be really funny if the second first this ability brings to the game is being slapped with a once-per-turn clause.
Outside of that, you can now increase the speed of the 'slow' stage to 1.5, though you can't set it to higher then the threshold to change scenes OR the 'fast' stage, so what's even the point?
'Start scenes in low speed in Auto mode' setting is a sneaky way of telling us that by default, turning everything to 'Automatically advance' will now skip the slow speed because fuck you, and this rolls that back. But why, though?
Also and additional feature for automatic nipple torture devices, but who. even. cares.