- Jun 30, 2022
- 108
- 185
Battle of Hogs Meadow - True Dogclapper Victory
It was truly only a matter of time before the true dogclappers regrouped and dealt with the traitors...within hours the true dogclapper cult claimed victory after wiping out the majority of heretics and capturing those who surrendered.
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Executing the heretics
Under Mommy 4th's teachings we were taught to love and spread...but in times of war under Shadow's divine guidance we shall rid ourselves of those who wish to tarnish our name, our bond to Mommy 4th...to ensure greater prosperity for the future...those who surrendered shall be given a proper trial...but those who did not and were captured shall receive nothing but death's embrace...
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There are still some battles waging on in outskirt settlements but nothing too much of note in the major ones...soon enough victory shall be claimed in all dogclapper land and we shall purge whatever remains of the heretic forces.
I have seen reports of your victories over the forces of antidogclappers in the discord subsector. Congratulations, truly.I've returned from the front dear comrades but I need to keep it brief as it is 2:35 in the god damn morning for me. Here are the Battle Reports from my infiltration into enemy lines:
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Followed by a swift execution of:
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Where they then, "clapped back", but not before I annihilated them with swift "moral" logic:
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Overall; it could've been worse, but I assure you I stirred the pot enough to keep them boiling in their own misery. They wish not to fuck the dog but have no problems fucking a snake, undead, or an actual corpse, or dare I say even "children" if the rumors are to be believed? Preposterous hypocritical swines...
It pains me to say this but after the recent betrayal I believe we must swiftly make use of more extreme methods to ensure the balance of power remains in our favour.
That is why I have come today with a revolutionary idea. We antidogclappers of the f95 subsector should make a cooperation pact with the dogclappers. I know, I know. You will most likely say this is madness but I have already sent our best diplomat: Ribbentrop to sign this accord for I have realized our true enemies are not ideological but national. We must stop infighting against ourselves and focus on the one true threat: Discord.