Oh and I meant to write this up, but forgot to. I noticed two errors in the text that
lostraven could easily fix. Both are during the Jessica Bathroom Blowjob scene. One is that the words "Wiping out" are used instead of "Whipping out". Unless you mean to say he's not removing it from his pants, but destroying it, which I highly doubt. Second is that when Jessica tries to resist her urges, she is said to rub her cross, but we know that is not the shape of her religious icon. It looks more like a bokobaba seed from windwaker or a vagina. You probably didn't have storyboards or whatever, so I can imagine that was just a lack of knowledge of what the religious symbol would be.
I think I saw one other editing error, but unfortunately it's slipping my mind.