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Ragnar

Super User
Respected User
Former Staff
Aug 5, 2016
5,083
14,028
SHhhhhhhhhhhhhhushhhhhhhhhhh. Stop this effort going into scaring a good dev away.
If he wants to make an incest game so be it but currently the script doesn't make sense.
All the writing related to the MC, Gwen, the Queen and the King need a rewrite.
And I'm not talking about turning the Queen into your landlady :FacePalm:
 
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Joubei

Lilith Rising
Game Developer
Aug 17, 2021
476
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If he wants to make an incest game so be it but currently the script doesn't make sense.
All the writing related to the MC, Gwen, the Queen and the King need a rewrite.
And I'm not talking about turning the Queen into your landlady :FacePalm:
Can you elaborate?


What I wrote is that the King is your father, Queen is your mother.
Gwen has been your betrothed since age 9 you became childhood friends.
Back then in medieval times they would merry kids to gain alliances, and until they come of age, they are betrothed.
Think of it as pre-fiancé and pre-wedding. What usually happens is that the kids become friends, they have no idea what it means really, so its very similar to a sister, but not legally. The king needs to officiate the wedding when they come of age.

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motseer

Engaged Member
Dec 17, 2021
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SHhhhhhhhhhhhhhushhhhhhhhhhh. Stop this effort going into scaring a good dev away.
While I always respect your opinion, Canto, in this case, the dev needs some convincing to up his writing game. Artwork is nice, programing -definitely know their stuff, attention to detail- great, writing - D-. Sorry to say it but, it's true.
 

Irad

Newbie
Apr 10, 2020
42
131
What a revolting coward the MC turned out to be...
1670760378045.png

We have a dagger, why is it not currently in her spine? Or kidney? There are SEVERAL available options for said dagger is all I'm saying.

There are some strange tonal issues overall in this intro. When talking to Jezebel, the MC thinks about her
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, this coming from a prince. When the
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he
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repeatedly, then just settles down like an obedient little sub in front of this CLEARLY hostile creature. Maybe add a fem-dom tag.

Especially the sequence with the queen
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telling the MC
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is odd. Why WOULD he
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in that scenario? Had he been a bairn, sure, but this is a man grown, in a (presumably) martial society. The notion is... odd. And unexplained so far.

It's understandable that one needs to set the scene, but in so doing one should take care not to taint the story that follows. Following this into, I doubt the MC can believably be shown to have courage, or make any choices of his own later on.
 
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L3z1l3

Member
Aug 19, 2018
431
1,626
Your feedback is quite good, (review)
Except the sfx, issue,
Are there anything else specific that came to your mind?
One thing I noticed was the the addressing of the Queen by the MC was somewhat inconsistent (Your Grace, My Queen, etc.) and also her relationship to the MC was left unclear. Maybe that's some remnant from the same fix that change Gwen from sister to betrothed. But while Gwen's relationship to MC was made clear via dialogue and the MC-s own thoughts, I still don't know who the Queen is. I guess not MC-s mother. Is she the second wife of the king after MC-s mother died or something? I also don't know her name. Was it mentioned? Her lines are only tagged with Queen. I think it would be nice to change that to Queen XY or similar.

Some people complained about non relevant choices. In my opinion interactivity in a game can also serve purposes like giving some flavor to MC's personality or show that MC is trying to do something which doesn't work. So not every choice HAS to have a story branching consequence that will follow MC through until the end of the game. But these, irrelevant interactions shouldn't be used too much because they become an annoyance.
One place I felt the choices became annoying was during the archery competition. After every shot, MC has the choice to look on the other competitors or focus. The same thing happens 3 times or so. I looked every time but nothing happened. You could have made it so, that checking out the competitors instead of focusing on his own archery would result in negative consequences.
Or the whole archery competition could have played out without any choices.
I feel either of those would have been better.
 

Ragnar

Super User
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Former Staff
Aug 5, 2016
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Can you elaborate?


What I wrote is that the King is your father, Queen is your mother.
Gwen has been your betrothed since age 9 you became childhood friends.
Back then in medieval times they would merry kids to gain alliances, and until they come of age, they are betrothed.
Think of it as pre-fiancé and pre-wedding. What usually happens is that the kids become friends, they have no idea what it means really, so its very similar to a sister, but not legally. The king needs to officiate the wedding when they come of age.

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In example why the MC doesn't call the Queen and the King mother and father? I though they were Gwen parents.
Why is Gwen living in the Castle if she's from noble background and not related to the MC?
Why is the MC tasked with waking her up? They're not married, so in medieval times that would be a big no no.
Imo the game needs an introduction to clarify the relationship between the characters and why are all in the same castle.

Renders are pretty good and the girls are hot, but storywise it seems like an incest game without incest patch.
 
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Ghost''

Well-Known Member
Mar 17, 2021
1,522
3,592
Tainted [v0.1.5.1] Unofficial Android Port

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- 302mb


My Android Ports have a 2nd Persistent save location. So, even if you uninstall the game, the saves will remain Intact.

Saves location: Storage/0011/Game-name


You can also join my discord server for more and support me.



You can also join 0011 discord server



If you like my works please support me.


 
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Joubei

Lilith Rising
Game Developer
Aug 17, 2021
476
1,322
In example why the MC doesn't call the Queen and the King mother and father? I though they were Gwen parents.
Why is Gwen living in the Castle if she's from noble background and not related to the MC?
Why is the MC tasked with waking her up? They're not married, so in medieval times that would be a big no no.
Imo the game needs an introduction to clarify the relationship between the characters and why are all in the same castle.

Renders are pretty good and the girls are hot, but storywise it seems like an incest game without incest patch.
In medieval times houses / kingdoms would betroth their kids to create alliances, sometimes the kids would be too young to marry, so they would live together in the same castle, and usually become more like childhood friends, as princes and princesses are not allowed to befriend the help.

For instance:
In house of dragon a good example, Renera's kids in the middle (House Targaryen) and The Velaryon girls on the sides, were betrothed (not yet married). they would call each other "Beloved" which was the title for this, much like husband and wife would be to a married couple. They were too young, and lived in the same house.
They usually wait until proper age where the king (or the house leader) would marry them.
Until the wedding night, the girls had to stay pure (i.e. virgins) - this was a huge no no, i.e. "The princess must stay pure until the wedding night, or she would lose her virtue..."
1670770918126.png

Now the Queen is a different story, she's a little nuts / power hungry, and demands that everyone call her "The Queen" or "Her Grace". Even her kid (the prince). You will learn about it later on. BUT he calls the king father / Dad several times.

Hope this clarifies the issue for you.

And yes, I had to do lots of research into medieval times when I was writing the story.
 

Joubei

Lilith Rising
Game Developer
Aug 17, 2021
476
1,322
What a revolting coward the MC turned out to be...
...
These feedbacks are addressed in v0.11, it will be released later today (hopefully).

and yes, part of the point, is to start at a very low point, so we'll have where to grow.
this is what we call the "superman" problem, if the hero is perfect from the start - you get the new star wars :p
where there is no growth at all, she starts perfect, and ends perfect, and completely unbelievable in the process.
 
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Freki.g

Well-Known Member
Jun 10, 2020
1,574
2,389
I hope there are physical (young, old, old, beautiful, less beautiful, ugly, thin, full bodied, powerful ...) and psychic varieties of characters, hopefully with a conflicting story (that trigger and make sense animated sex scenes) , from the presentation I see usual boring dolls.

However, I was intrigued by the developer notes, I will try it after a few more updates.

We'll see, thanks for the game and good luck to the developer.
 
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