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VN Ren'Py Tales from the Deep: Eve [Ch1a3.3] [Mrsloap]

4.80 star(s) 47 Votes
Discussion Reviews (47)
Mrsloap

Mrsloap

Newbie
Game Developer
Mar 7, 2020
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919
slavegal said:
This is a good start; I like how you slowly build up the protagonist's character and the premises of the story.


View attachment 1950385

It is a little bit difficult for me to read. Generally, white letters with black banding work on most of the backgrounds. Please, don't use red/green/yellow texts on backgrounds with similar colors.

And I know it is about corruption, but it is not logical for a woman to become "wet" in such a hostile situation. Physically, it is not possible for us to turn adrenalin into dopamine in seconds. Furthermore, If a girl has already been as slutty as a succubus who can get pleasure in such an incident, then there would be no space for you to "corrupt" her anymore.

In BDSM, some kinds of pleasure indeed come from "I am forced to do something I don't want to,"; but the pleasure would lag behind a little bit, for example, a few hours after multiple ritual actions. A trusted partner could accelerate it, but it still takes time to trust someone. The point: if you didn't spend a considerable length of the text on building up a scene, it would be a little weird to see the "pleasure" in a sudden and hostile event. For example, you could describe his strength and assertive voice, the contrast of their body size, how rough he is, and how humiliated she is, before the "pleasure."

This is a promising story, anyway; expecting to see your next release, godspeed!
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Hey man really apreciate the honest feedback! I really enjoyed your input on improving the build up of a scene on your last paragraph, i'll keep that in mind you're absolutely right. In my case there's a little bit of a language barrier i have considerable experience in reading in english not so much at wrighting in it.
On a last note i just desagree with you on the phisiology of sex assault and the mental and physical outcomes from it i respectfully suggest you to check this out:
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or simply google orgasm from sexual assault, some time ago i stumbled upon such reports and those really influenced how i tried to build Eve's psiche . There are countless very disturbing accounts of real victims on the subject and how fucked up, and embarassing they feel about it. I guess what i tried to portray was that kind of internal conflict . But as you put it in your last paragraph it could have been done better and i totally agree. I'll keep that in mind for the remainder of the story. Thanks again for the honest feed back.
 
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lgac1492

Newbie
Apr 23, 2020
63
194
I liked the overview and the few renders on the description. There are already many games of corruption, so why not go a step further to see how much you can degrade an already vulnerable person? Good luck!
 
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slavegal

slavegal

Member
Apr 17, 2020
438
541
Mrsloap said:
Hey man really apreciate the honest feedback! I really enjoyed your input on improving the build up of a scene on your last paragraph, i'll keep that in mind you're absolutely right. In my case there's a little bit of a language barrier i have considerable experience in reading in english not so much at wrighting in it.
On a last note i just desagree with you on the phisiology of sex assault and the mental and physical outcomes from it i respectfully suggest you to check this out:
You must be registered to see the links
or simply google orgasm from sexual assault, some time ago i stumbled upon such reports and those really influenced how i tried to build Eve's psiche . There are countless very disturbing accounts of real victims on the subject and how fucked up, and embarassing they feel about it. I guess what i tried to portray was that kind of internal conflict . But as you put it in your last paragraph it could have been done better and i totally agree. I'll keep that in mind for the remainder of the story. Thanks again for the honest feed back.
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You are right. I also read articles about similar topics that are less controversial: most women have the fantasy of "being raped"more than once in their life, and some women have them repeatedly; some women would develop it into a fetish. It is not rare for couples to role play in their bedroom. A few women practice it, presumably --- tiny ratio, but there are. In Tokyo, it is said some women are happy to be groped on the subway. I think they even created a Japanese word for those women, who are actively looking for "rape" or "predators," so they are already mentally prepared. They might be relieved when they finally see a rapist. I do believe what you said.

I was referring to pornography needing to describe those mental activities to the audiences. From "being pointed by a gun" to "becoming wet," it would be more logical if the audiences were told what happens inside the protagonist's brain since those women who get orgasms in sexual assaults enjoy the sense of "helpless," "used," and "humiliated" much more than sex itself. So, it is great to hear that you will work on the text next release; I believe this game has great potential.
 
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Franknus606

Franknus606

New Member
Jul 28, 2022
4
3
That overview is very nice, the render previews look good and on the patreon the dev mentioned 60fps animations? Ok this might be just up my alley
 
Boogg

Boogg

Member
Apr 21, 2022
258
576
So far I like the premise and the slow burn of the story. I am still trying to wrap my head around a couple things but that is just a matter of personal taste. Definitely not a fan of the dialog boxes and colors. It makes them hard to read but I believe I read where you are addressing that issue as well as working on spelling and such.

I am just curious. Why did you choose the render style you are using? Your use of dark colors and shadows wash everything out and the lack of contrast just makes everything look bland. There isnt enough contrast to keep everything from feeling like you are walking around in a dark closet. The character renders are also pretty bad. You have moments when a characters face will be very detailed and other moments where they look pasty and washed out. Their hair looks like something on an old doll where you can see the individual strands pushed into the head.

I get the feeling that you might be trying to enhance the dark nature of the story by making the environment seem dark and foreboding but its just too much. I think the story has potential, but the visuals alone are enough to make me not want to follow the story. Don't get me wrong. I wish you the best of success, but I feel like enhancing the visuals a bit could do wonders.
 
P3zz0

P3zz0

MP-40 Enjoyer
Moderator
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Game Developer
Jul 8, 2017
919
9,163
Mrsloap said:
Muito Obrigado Pezzo! If you haven't mentioned the tag i would have never guessed how to ask for it, and thanks for using Portuguese and not Spanish hahaha, at last someone got it right
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I am European but I learned Portuguese BR mano that's why :KEK: Also if you aren't aware, there is a massive BR community on discord for AVN, you could promote your game
You must be registered to see the links
too
 
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4.80 star(s) 47 Votes