stupid ol jimbo's stupid ol guide to get ironman pure hero (or whatever the achievement is called maybe chaste hero)
Before you even attempt this, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend you
get some Ironman achievements. Won't go through that here, just go on the wiki, find achievements, do them on Ironman mode. Very easy, I promise.
Now that you've done all the easy achievements, you should have some points.
You should ideally have enough points for Lv3 of everything besides potions. But if you really want to barebones it, then you can probably do it with everything besides clothes, cage key, food, and potions. Probably even crystals, but that one extra stat point helps out so I wouldn't really recommend it.
Besides, this is, like, an endgame achievement. Why are you trying to get it on Ironman without doing anything else first?
Ironically, doing the Lv 1 Challenge is way easier than this. Just don't press the level up, and you can pretty much just follow the guide. It'll be harder a bit, yeah, but just pick Paladin and buy some Agility and Perception charms. But this isn't about that; I digress.
The Stats, Skills, Perks, Money, and Crystals imo are the most important. Yes, crystals even if you're not a magic user. We're gunna use them to upgrade some items to boost stats. Trust me.
Lv3 Stat, Skill, Soul, Perk, Gold, Food then Clothing and whatever else. Clothing is good if you want to do Spider before Monster Town, which you can absolutely do because it's piss easy with gear you can get from the smith in the first town.
I'm a loser so I have a fuckton of points to spend on everything but potions because I always forget to use them anyways. If you're smart, probably get potions too.
Here's my rundown of the classes in order of best to worst.
- Paladin is great because of the bonkers stat spread. They're very slow, but good thing we're going to mitigate that with an absurd number of buffs and perk points, all of which will go into that. The magic is helpful because you can get heals as a safety net and spells to debuff enemies or kill ghosts. Pick Paladin.
- Thief shares the sentiment with Warrior, but lacks the Strength and Endurance instead, which need to get up there. Remember, a loss is an instant restart. Endurance prevents combat loses. However, the good Agility and Perception is better than the Strength imo. The lack of magic isn't great, but w/e.
- Warrior is also good, but is kinda just worse Paladin because we're not using All-Out Blitz, it starts with less, and no magic (which isn't that bad). The Strength is nice, but you're gunna end up with 10+ Strength anyways, so it's just a no bonus item Paladin with a few skills points ig, which also aren't too relevant.
- Ranger is probably fine too, but with a starting bonus of just a bow and some food... seems a little worse than some other options.
- Enchanter probably isn't a great idea for this either? I did a non-ironman run with an Enchanter (obviously not pure) and I had 9/10s in every stat towards the end, but idk. Do it if you want the outfit, but Charisma is useful for doing sex, not preventing it.
- Don't do Mage.
For the purposes of this guide, I think I'll go with Thief because I already unlocked the Paladin outfit, otherwise I'd do that. +2 everything but Agility (we have enough for now), Magic, with Charisma getting the shit end of the stick with the baby +1 (don't really need more than that, we're not recruiting Warlock)
So 5, 5, 7, 6, 1, 5.
Strength down to Charisma.
I am about to reveal a forbidden tech that will ruin the game's combat for you if you don't already know about it. Don't read this if you like a challenge. Ready?
Literally all you need to do to win any fight is Spring Attack + Crushing Blow (combo referred to henceforth as SACB (patent pending by jimbo, do not use)). Well, mostly any fight. Avoid fighting Ghosts or you're fucked unless you have spells.
With the above in mind, we're gunna
drop a point into Fade-Away, Second Wind, and Uppercut (to fight Harpies, ideally you'll never be on your knees because that's instant death). After that,
upgrade Spring Attack and Crushing Blow together.
For Perks, ALWAYS put them in the stats. I'm a thief so I'll do 2x Stronger, 1x Harder, 1x Faster, 1x Smarter.
For appearance, I chose
Orcblood because we're basically speedrunning anyways and the buffs are nice.
If you're playing Thief, you HAVE to pick Pink hair with Pink eyes and name yourself
Boz Scaggs. Trust me.
First things first,
quicksave.
Just kidding lol.
Try to meet Kylira or whatever his name is for food. Avoid werewolves entirely. Idc how their mechanic works, just avoid them until you get Trudy to take it for you or just sneak past them. Either way works, they just scare me.
DO NOT RECRUIT KYLIRA IT IS A FUCKING WASTE OF FOOD.
To the town we go!
Here are the things we need to do in no particular order:
- Get into an insane amount of debt
- Accept a job from Lady Big Bottom
- Buy shit from the Blacksmith
- Get the Gem
- Buy some MEET
You can borrow 50 gold four times from the Bank.
Buy all the meat from the General Store.
From the Blacksmith, just buy a
Reinforced Shield, a
Battle Skirt if not Paladin, and a
Diamond Plate.
Listen to the Town Crier then Eavesdrop and pay the guy.
When you talk to Lady Big Bottom about Odd Jobs, go for the
More Gold option.
From now on, any time the rabbit shows up, just pay her 10 gold to piss off.
For world travel, stay away from the damn Island (personal pet peeve),
whenever you see a chest that says "Artifact" raise your Scout level to 4 or risk being raped, and you can fight Ogres even when not sleeping. If they are, Ambush, kick club.
Try to get Trudy, she'll act as a ward for werewolves. Also
try to hit Golems and Dryads.
Our next missions, again, in no real particular order:
- Talk to the Witch at her cottage
- Go to monster town to buy a bunch of shit and finish the Apple Bottom Jeans quest and woop warlock ass
- Kill a God
- Kill a Spider
At the Witch's Cottage, I usually buy the town teleport scroll and if you have money cause you didn't buy the Diamond Plate or you turned in the other quest first, maybe grab a charm just for you. If your Agility is high enough you can just steal it lol
Buy the magic cage if you're using magic and don't already have it (Paladin)
For Level ups, everything goes into SACB for skills, and for perks you're just trying to round out your skills. Perception and Agility are key to keep your virginities in tact, while Strength and Endurance win wars. Charisma is good for some encounters we need and Magic is good utility.
From Monster Town, we're
buying Helm of Perception, Boots of Agility or whatever they're called, Gauntlets of Strength, Town Portal Scroll, and Lacy Panties in that order. If you don't have the money, you can skip the Gauntlets and get them from the Verdant place and the Lacy Panties aren't required.
"But stupid ol Jimbo, why not just get the free Gauntlets?"
Because I'm stupid and lazy. You're probably not gunna succeed on your first shot, and I don't wanna waste time swimming in a mountain godesses' lake of life every fucking time I want a stupid pair of 25 cent gauntlets.
Before you leave the store, upgrade the Gauntlets with +Strength. If you're playing Paladin, maybe upgrade the Helm with +Perception or the boots with +Agility instead. Just round out your stats.
Also, whoop the Warlock's ass at some point.
Now go to the Pub and turn the guy in by taking that carriage option back.
This is where I made my next objective the Spider Cave, then the cottage in that order. You can beat this spider at like, level 2 though cause I did (spoiler, I lost the first run by trying to run past the minotaur like an idiot)
When going through the ruins, if you don't have boots or gauntlets on you're fucked. Literally. Touching the rune won't do shit if you don't have magic unfortunately. Otherwise, just SACB the arachne's ass after picking up the little lad.
Put that shiny new blade on.
You are now a walking God that is going to massacre another walking God.
Go to the Mount Greybeard or whatever it's called and whoop that God's ASS.
While going there, whoop the angel's fat ass at the altar.
Whenever you see a cave with a Naga, scout it to 4 before going there or you'll get fucked.
Also, I shouldn't have to say this, but don't just mindlessly press A or you'll fall over and probably get fucked.
After you whoop the God's ass, run back to the Altar or scroll back to town. Go to the town Crier and enjoy your veritable feast of wealth.
From now on, whenever you have Crystals in numbers of five, spend them to upgrade a stat point on your armors. If you have excess, buff your sword or something idk.
By this point, with all the upgrades and Perk points and shit, I had 11, 8, 11, 10, 1, 6 going from Strength to Charisma. We're cracked. Now we're going to bumrush the SHIT out of this bitch ass Demon King and hope we don't lose. (I lost this run lol)
Also, we're gunna start eating shit for food if you're not buying it when you can.
Go out of your way for Food Caches, Food Carts, buy it whenever you're in town, even Dryads. Fuck Food.
Have Trudy fight all Werewolves,
beware the Beast Mistress if you have less than a thousand fucking Perception, beware Horrifying Presence unless you wanna lose all of your HP, fight Minotaurs.
If you find Sleeping Ettins,
don't wake them up and just keep waiting till the end. When you eat the Nut Meat it'll give you like 200 food.
When you get to the Demon King, if you have 7 Perception, fail the temptation check and pass the Perception to get the Team Balance ironman achievement. It won't game over or ruin a virginity, don't worry.
Whoop. Her. Ass. Just SACB her, block when you need to, struggle, etc. Good luck. Took me around 4 tries total of just losing to stupid shit by picking the wrong option way too far ahead.
