VN Ren'Py The Awakening of a Silent Prayer [v0.1] [Oblivious Madness Games]

[Crow Armbrust]

THX

 

[desmosome]

I thought I could power through it, but the Engrish wore me down. I think the script is pretty decent, so it would be good if you can find someone to help with the translation or proofreading.

 

[Ozygator]

One word to describe this one: Boring. Even just clicking through to find some interesting renders was wasted time after a few minutes of basically nothing.

 

[Lognaros]

Incest patch:

 

[ObliviousMadnessGames]

I thought I could power through it, but the Engrish wore me down. I think the script is pretty decent, so it would be good if you can find someone to help with the translation or proofreading.

Thanks, we will do that, we're going to keep improving, thanks for your feedback.

 

[ObliviousMadnessGames]

One word to describe this one: Boring. Even just clicking through to find some interesting renders was wasted time after a few minutes of basically nothing.

I am truly sorry that the experience with the game you had felt this way, we're going to keep improving, so I hope the next update get a lot better, don't you like at least one of the videos? Or all in general feels boring to you?, thanks for your feedback.

 

[CamaroFan432]

That intro video was too long IMO, and at least to this point had nearly nothing to do with the game at all. I mean, why did you explain the equipment of a police officer? Also, what I did see aside from the work needing English, there was at least one time an abbreviation (IDK instead of I don't know) and multiple smilies. You're writing a story not a text message with your buddies, so please stop this nonsense. The overall writing doesn't need only proofreading (for example several times you write "nigth" instead of "night") but also an upgrade, IMO it jumps between slang, robotic and normal sentences. There is no natural conversation and feeling in it. And please tone down the makeup on the ladies, they're not clowns. Some makeup is ok, but it has to fit, and here it looked horrible and overdone.

And now being a smartass, sedatives don't work like that! It's not some kind of sleep but more of a comatose state. And sadly I do know how it feels and works, because I had several operations on my abdomen. You're basically out like a light in an instant. And you wake up the same way, there are no visual effects or dreams involved. And sedatives WILL NEVER be given to a non medical person. One miscalculation of the dosis and the patient would never wake up again or won't fall in coma at all. Please if you include such things, make sure you inform yourself beforehand! And a person with cracked bones is certainly not a state to do yoga or sports at all. Even with painkillers, the pain would be unbearable. Also the doc said, that the MC needs bed rest and first thing in the morning, they all ignore it and the injuries? How inconsequent were you writing this?

Some of the renders look quite stupid, what do you have with these montrous big tables. They're adults and look like kids sitting at the dinning table or the school desks. Also the plates.

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Then there is the fact that you use animations, all nice and dandy, but why not at the lewd scenes? You used them in the most random places at times but not the lewds? In a AVN? Doesn't made much sense to me.

An additional critic point is, that there were basically no chance to stop any women (other than Nicole) from being chased, from what I remember. Only lewd scenes so far could be skipped, but well...

In all honesty, you need to rework quite a bunch, so that the story makes sense. I don't care about "real world rules", but your story needs to be at least consistent in it's own world. And at this point, it fails to be that. The length was good though for a first release, quite a amount of content. And I do see a future for the story despite these heavy flaws. I wish you good luck, see you in a few weeks/updates.

 

[ObliviousMadnessGames]

That intro video was too long IMO, and at least to this point had nearly nothing to do with the game at all. I mean, why did you explain the equipment of a police officer? Also, what I did see aside from the work needing English, there was at least one time an abbreviation (IDK instead of I don't know) and multiple smilies. You're writing a story not a text message with your buddies, so please stop this nonsense. The overall writing doesn't need only proofreading (for example several times you write "nigth" instead of "night") but also an upgrade, IMO it jumps between slang, robotic and normal sentences. There is no natural conversation and feeling in it. And please tone down the makeup on the ladies, they're not clowns. Some makeup is ok, but it has to fit, and here it looked horrible and overdone.

And now being a smartass, sedatives don't work like that! It's not some kind of sleep but more of a comatose state. And sadly I do know how it feels and works, because I had several operations on my abdomen. You're basically out like a light in an instant. And you wake up the same way, there are no visual effects or dreams involved. And sedatives WILL NEVER be given to a non medical person. One miscalculation of the dosis and the patient would never wake up again or won't fall in coma at all. Please if you include such things, make sure you inform yourself beforehand! And a person with cracked bones is certainly not a state to do yoga or sports at all. Even with painkillers, the pain would be unbearable. Also the doc said, that the MC needs bed rest and first thing in the morning, they all ignore it and the injuries? How inconsequent were you writing this?

Some of the renders look quite stupid, what do you have with these montrous big tables. They're adults and look like kids sitting at the dinning table or the school desks. Also the plates.

Spoiler

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Then there is the fact that you use animations, all nice and dandy, but why not at the lewd scenes? You used them in the most random places at times but not the lewds? In a AVN? Doesn't made much sense to me.

An additional critic point is, that there were basically no chance to stop any women (other than Nicole) from being chased, from what I remember. Only lewd scenes so far could be skipped, but well...

In all honesty, you need to rework quite a bunch, so that the story makes sense. I don't care about "real world rules", but your story needs to be at least consistent in it's own world. And at this point, it fails to be that. The length was good though for a first release, quite a amount of content. And I do see a future for the story despite these heavy flaws. I wish you good luck, see you in a few weeks/updates.

Thanks a lot for your feedback, I appreciate you take the time to express your opinion, you're right, we're going to work a lot and correct a lot of our error, this is the first game we create so, Our inexperience and our lack of knowledge have made the first version have so many problems, we are already working on what to do, and what to change, at this point it may take us a while, but we keep working to deliver a good experience, and I guess we will implement another decision system we will also work to move the content to Unreal engine and improve the overall quality, and animate all the scenes, again thanks for your input and any feedback is welcome.

 

[CamaroFan432]

Thanks a lot for your feedback, I appreciate you take the time to express your opinion, you're right, we're going to work a lot and correct a lot of our error, this is the first game we create so, Our inexperience and our lack of knowledge have made the first version have so many problems, we are already working on what to do, and what to change, at this point it may take us a while, but we keep working to deliver a good experience, and I guess we will implement another decision system we will also work to move the content to Unreal engine and improve the overall quality, and animate all the scenes, again thanks for your input and any feedback is welcome.

Thanks for taking your time to read this wall of text. I wrote it while I was playing your story. And I'm sorry that I wrote mainly negativ points. But this is the first impression players get, and I think it should be a good one for the future, so that you get the support to at least cover the expenses for creating this AVN. As I already said, sorry that I wrote mostly negativ points, but I still wish you best of luck and much success! See you at later point.

 

[Nobles]

So, played it. Quick run down on my thoughts

I started and it was about the MC working for them ? I got a little suspicious. I remember the I tag, and then found a kindred soul provided the much needed patch in the forums here. Frustrating start where I had to start the game again cause something so basic wasnt present from the get go. Make sure you include the I-pass patch next time

As for the family. For me, I absolutely love it when sisters/family all somewhat look related. My general rule is that sisters/brothers have the same color hair or same color eyes or both. While in real life you can get bros and sisters who look totally different as genes can vary from generation or stay dormant. Having the sisters or brothers share traits with the parents is fine too. Having them look and share traits in games/stories makes it more apricated showing the relation. In this they all shared the same colored eyes and the sisters did have similar looking hair colors, so I happy give this a good pass. Tho purple eyes was kinda weird and stood out a bit too much as unnatural. I dont consider purple eyes a natural colour. But its fantasy and anime design ? so its fine I guess /shrugs

As of the topic of family. You have 3 sisters and all attending college and within a close age gap. While Chloe is the younger one, and Grace the older one (which was shown especially since they were in other classes). But I very much felt Ada should of been referred to as your twin. While being called a sister is still pretty accurate, twin would of been more defining with the current role. This is just a minor thing. Nothing wrong, just could really better emphasis here. Plus everyone knows Twincest is wincest. It just make sense why one is younger and one is older, and Ada and the MC are the same age.

Other than that. For a spicy game set around the "family" I kinda admires Chloes aggressiveness to get the ball rolling. And seeing the MC respond he knows hes pretty sick, but he cant help the feelings he gets. Was really interesting, so it felt pretty fun. I definitely plan to take the MC down the depraved pervert route. The inner dialog thoughts the MC gets constantly like when he saw his mothers ass in the air and he jut wanted to fuck it is quite entertaining. I do like to see the MCs ambitions. Its when the MC doesn't have any ambition I start to worry.

Dont have anything much to to say on Nicole and Sophie as nothing really happen with them. Nicole "appeared" to have been charmed when he was beating them up and sophie im "assuming" has a crush on the MC but is rather too shy to stay around.
But Celene., I absoluty love the presence of an evil/alpha girl. A girl who treats others cruelly or doesn't care about anyone, but showers the MC with affection and her protection, I find very hot. Its commonly seen in Yanderes, but shes no yandere, shes more of the coldhearted girl. The MC might change her over time to be a bit softer to others, but thats all up to the MC. While im not fully convinced on the specifics how she fell in love with the MC and wants to date. But being an evil/cold girl, who wont let any harm to him. I love the prospect. The issue of arranged marriage tho is another subject matter. We(or I?) dont want to leave a harem behind, so it would have to be integrated into the harem during the course of the story.

Now the bit that worries me about the game. Is the dumbass MC who carries on about the violence. For one. a girl IN A MASK was getting beat up by the police. What does the MC do ? he runs out and strikes the POLICE OFFICER. Thats how you get your ass thrown in jail. Doing dumb shit like that. Shes wearing a mask and outfit like Antifa. He doesn't know whats going on and did something as dumb as that. He was then all kind to the girl not knowing if she was a terrorist or not. It was kinda painful to me how much he was acting like some hero without having any awareness what was going on and if she had commited any crimes??? I did not enjoy the MCs actions at all here :/ But he was saved by a guy in a suit <.<

Then the part in the chopper when the MC was going on about how bad the police were, talking shit about them killing them for doing nothing wrong. When all that was happening was the police were beating down teh protests(terrorists?) with their batons and shields. Sure it was violent and looked like things were getting out of hand, but it doesn't make the guys wearing masks the good guys either ? They turn up in masks, thats a reason why its bound to turn into trouble. Peaceful protestors dont turn up in masks. Thats obvious right ? Thats why I didnt like the MC writing off the police as the bad guys and calling the mask people the good guys when he has no situation awareness. They were invading the golf course and we dont know how things escalated. Looked to me the protestors came to fight. So nothing out of the ordinary when you have rebels clashing with police.

I personally hope nothing comes from this, other than the MC observes what happens between them then focus's back on his harem. Not seeing how the MC would even change anything unless he convinces Celene to change over time. Who does have the power. I guess thats my issue of not seeing eye to eye with the MC. Awareness. He has none. Police might be portrayed on the corrupt side, but I don't see how it makes the mask people the good guys either.

Overall. I enjoyed the game. Looks like it could be very fun and depraved. The english wasnt too bad, I could make sense of it, but at times I felt like the wrong words were used compared to better words that could of been used instead. I certainly look forward to more

 

[ObliviousMadnessGames]

So, played it. Quick run down on my thoughts

I started and it was about the MC working for them ? I got a little suspicious. I remember the I tag, and then found a kindred soul provided the much needed patch in the forums here. Frustrating start where I had to start the game again cause something so basic wasnt present from the get go. Make sure you include the I-pass patch next time

As for the family. For me, I absolutely love it when sisters/family all somewhat look related. My general rule is that sisters/brothers have the same color hair or same color eyes or both. While in real life you can get bros and sisters who look totally different as genes can vary from generation or stay dormant. Having the sisters or brothers share traits with the parents is fine too. Having them look and share traits in games/stories makes it more apricated showing the relation. In this they all shared the same colored eyes and the sisters did have similar looking hair colors, so I happy give this a good pass. Tho purple eyes was kinda weird and stood out a bit too much as unnatural. I dont consider purple eyes a natural colour. But its fantasy and anime design ? so whatever I guess /shrugs

As of the topic of family. You have 3 sisters and all attending college and within a close age gap. While Chloe is the younger one, and Grace the older one (which was shown especially since they were in other classes). But I very much felt Ada should of been referred to as your twin. While being called a sister is still pretty accurate, twin would of been more defining with the current role. This is just a minor thing. Nothing wrong, just could really better emphasis here. Plus everyone knows Twincest is wincest. It just make sense why one is younger and one is older, and Ada and the MC are the same age.

Other than that. For a spicy game set around the "family" I kinda admires Chloes aggressiveness to get the ball rolling. And seeing the MC respond he knows hes pretty sick, but he cant help the feelings he gets. Was really interesting, so it felt pretty fun. I definitely plan to take the MC down the depraved pervert route. The inner dialog thoughts the MC gets constantly like when he saw his mothers ass in the air and he jut wanted to fuck it is quite entertaining. I do like to see the MCs ambitions. Its when the MC doesn't have any ambition I start to worry.

Dont have anything much to to say on Nicole and Sophie as nothing really happen with them. Nicole "appeared" to have been charmed when he was beating them up and sophie im "assuming" has a crush on the MC but is rather too shy to stay around.
But Celene., I absoluty love the presence of an evil/alpha girl. A girl who treats others cruelly or doesn't care about anyone, but showers the MC with affection and her protection, I find very hot. Its commonly seen in Yanderes, but shes no yandere, shes more of the coldhearted girl. The MC might change her over time to be a bit softer to others, but thats all up to the MC. While im not fully convinced on the specifics how she fell in love with the MC and wants to date. But being an evil/cold girl, who wont let any harm to him. I love the prospect. The issue of arranged marriage tho is another subject matter. We(or I?) dont want to leave a harem behind, so it would have to be integrated into the harem during the course of the story.

Now the bit that worries me about the game. Is the dumbass MC who carries on about the violence. For one. a girl IN A MASK was getting beat up by the police. What does the MC do ? he runs out and strikes the POLICE OFFICER. Thats how you get your ass thrown in jail. Doing dumb shit like that. Shes wearing a mask and outfit like Antifa. He doesn't know whats going on and did something as dumb as that. He was then all kind to the girl not knowing if she was a terrorist or not. It was kinda painful to me how much he was acting like some hero without having any awareness what was going on and if she had commited any crimes??? I did not enjoy the MCs actions at all here :/ But he was saved by a guy in a suit <.<

Then the part in the chopper when the MC was going on about how bad the police were, talking shit about them killing them for doing nothing wrong. When all that was happening was the police were beating down teh protests(terrorists?) with their batons and shields. Sure it was violent and looked like things were getting out of hand, but it doesn't make the guys wearing masks the good guys either ? They turn up in masks, thats a reason why its bound to turn into trouble. Peaceful protestors dont turn up in masks. Thats obvious right ? Thats why I didnt like the MC writing off the police as the bad guys and calling the mask people the good guys when he has no situation awareness. They were invading the golf course and we dont know how things escalated. Looked to me the protestors came to fight. So nothing out of the ordinary when you have rebels clashing with police.

I personally hope nothing comes from this, other than the MC observes what happens between them then focus's back on his harem. Not seeing how the MC would even change anything unless he convinces Celene to change over time. Who does have the power. I guess thats my issue of not seeing eye to eye with the MC. Awareness. He has none. Police might be portrayed on the corrupt side, but I don't see how it makes the mask people the good guys either.

Overall. I enjoyed the game. Looks like it could be very fun and depraved. The english wasnt too bad, I could make sense of it, but at times I felt like the wrong words were used compared to better words that could of been used instead. I certainly look forward to more

Thanks a lot for your feedback, we really appreciate when you take the time to comment your experience with the game, we will be going to make some changes in the next version, and your comment help us a lot to make decisions, and respect to the "good" or "bad" guys there is none, I believe all humans can have both of good and bad sites, maybe the MC make assumptions about things just because he was shock about the situation, but we're planning to make him see that he can't be so naive about the world, thanks again, and we really happy about you enjoy the game in general, we will make changes specially in the writing and some things that we screw up, so the experience could be a lot better.

 

[ObliviousMadnessGames]

Thanks for taking your time to read this wall of text. I wrote it while I was playing your story. And I'm sorry that I wrote mainly negativ points. But this is the first impression players get, and I think it should be a good one for the future, so that you get the support to at least cover the expenses for creating this AVN. As I already said, sorry that I wrote mostly negativ points, but I still wish you best of luck and much success! See you at later point.

Don't be sorry, we really appreciate your honesty because you help us to improve, and you take the time to let us know your opinion, so no worries.

 

[Nobles]

I should correct myself. Peaceful protestors dont turn up in masks, unless it covid season. And theres a toilet paper shortage.

Thanks a lot for your feedback, we really appreciate when you take the time to comment your experience with the game, we will be going to make some changes in the next version, and your comment help us a lot to make decisions, and respect to the "good" or "bad" guys there is none, I believe all humans can have both of good and bad sites, maybe the MC make assumptions about things just because he was shock about the situation, but we're planning to make him see that he can't be so naive about the world, thanks again, and we really happy about you enjoy the game in general, we will make changes specially in the writing and some things that we screw up, so the experience could be a lot better.

Ah thats fine, but you still should set out to make the game you want to make, But if you think you need some changes from feeback here and there, then thats fine. I think I just underestimated how naive the MC is suppose to be. If hes going to shape up from his mistakes, then its for the best.

 

[e-disfunction]

...
As for the family. For me, I absolutely love it when sisters/family all somewhat look related. My general rule is that sisters/brothers have the same color hair or same color eyes or both. While in real life you can get bros and sisters who look totally different as genes can vary from generation or stay dormant. Having the sisters or brothers share traits with the parents is fine too. Having them look and share traits in games/stories makes it more apricated showing the relation. In this they all shared the same colored eyes and the sisters did have similar looking hair colors, so I happy give this a good pass. Tho purple eyes was kinda weird and stood out a bit too much as unnatural. I dont consider purple eyes a natural colour. But its fantasy and anime design ? so its fine I guess /shrugs ...

Elizabeth Taylor had violet eyes and no one else in her immediate or extended family did.

What I mean is that I agree with your feelings, above (and most of everything in the rest of your post), but I ask that you allow just a little bit more room in your understanding of inheritable traits — for your own comfort! (I had to learn this patience for myself when I started re-learning genetics, so I understand where you are probably coming from.)

For example, *much* of eye and hair colours in humans *is* a result of combinations of basic dominant and recessive genes. But those few things outside of *much* can create headaches and over-consumption of alcohol in generations of genetics researchers before basic insight is found!

I personally know a family of a mother, a father, and 7 daughters. The daughters all had different colours of hair from light blonde & wavy to dark brown & straight while they were growing up — and each of their hair colours changed to something different after they each gave birth to their first child!

(This makes sense if you understand the *other* X chromosome *partially* turns itself on and off under different circumstances during life ... but you tell your wife, "We need to make you pregnant just see what your sex chromosomes do!" and I'll call the ambulance for you, now.)

So be kind to yourself. All you need is just a bit more breathing room in your understanding and you will feel more comfortable with people. (And you can avoid some spously beatings as well!)

e-d

 

[Exoplast]

The Awakening of a Silent Prayer [v0.1] [Oblivious Madness Games] Compressed

PC/MAC (1,74GB/368MB)

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PC/MAC UQ (1,74GB/893MB)

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UQ have the same video and audio quality like the smaller compression. But the Image qaulity was set to 100%.

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[varkatzas666]

Ok ok,let put this in this way,TAOASP doesn't have the best renders or animations,but is good, i love the history,the sexy scenes with the sib....other girls and the truth,I need more,so keep it up dev

PS: that plates and the food are HUGEEEEE lol

 

[punisher2099]

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Then shave damn it!

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Ok this was funny as hell, the mc is right she is a little minx.

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I got good a laugh out of this. Is it just me or does the mc seem like a stoner?

 

[estrada777]

New Android port. Nothing too fancy but let me know if you have any issues.

Version: 0.1 + IC

Appreciate my porting? Leave a Tip! You're supporting my efforts, paying for storage, and encouraging more ports!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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OR

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PLEASE don't @ me or DM me for updates. I always update my ports, YES I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE UPDATE.

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This unofficial port/version is not released by the developer, download at your own risk.

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(if it gives you a .zip, just rename it as .apk)

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Size 353 MiB

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