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Lykanz

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May 2, 2017
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@Lykanz
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
IOError: Couldn't find file 'music/pump.ogg'.

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btw. Linda Mae is a , right? :test:
Thank you for your feedback. That's really weird, as it seems to be a type I made when defining the sound's location... I'll fix that as soon as I get home (at work now) and upload a fix for it. For now I think you can hit the "Ignore" button, that should work.

And about Linda... Shhhhh... Don't spread it. XD
 
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Zippity

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Nov 16, 2017
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I decided to give this visual novel/game a try... It has it's moments where I like the story, but then the developers mess stuff up with either attempts at humor or some over the top characters... Such as the whole narrator with memes for his head non-sense, which I didn't find funny, and tended to just skip past it, in order to get back to the story telling... Or how some characters just talked trash and had over the top attitudes when it was unprovoked... And the attempts at an over the top heavy southern draw for the farm girl, that was not only hard to read sometimes, but didn't seem to fit at all with her looks or mannerisms... The story premise seems interesting, and there are a few moments when you begin to wonder if there is more going on than what meets the eye... I went ahead and posted my review...
 

Lykanz

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May 2, 2017
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I decided to give this visual novel/game a try... It has it's moments where I like the story, but then the developers mess stuff up with either attempts at humor or some over the top characters... Such as the whole narrator with memes for his head non-sense, which I didn't find funny, and tended to just skip past it, in order to get back to the story telling... Or how some characters just talked trash and had over the top attitudes when it was unprovoked... And the attempts at an over the top heavy southern draw for the farm girl, that was not only hard to read sometimes, but didn't seem to fit at all with her looks or mannerisms... The story premise seems interesting, and there are a few moments when you begin to wonder if there is more going on than what meets the eye... I went ahead and posted my review...
Thank you for your review and your rate, man!

Yeah, the whole writer thing wasn't well received by most people (mostly because of how heavy it was on days 3 and 4. It gets toned down as the story progress tho. He didn't show up at all on day 6.

As for the over the top characters and reactions... Well, that's the tone of the whole story. Sorry if it isn't the kind of humour you like.

And for Linda's over the top southern draw, that's kinda the point... Most, if not all characters on this story are stereotyped in a way or another.

All in all, thank you again for your review, and I'll keep your criticism in mind, as it was constructive and solid.

Have a good one!

EDIT: Just finished reading your review. I see your point and I'll try to keep that in mind, but I have some things to clear:

It's not that I don't take the story seriously, but more like the story doesn't take itself too seriously. It is a silly humour, with lots of pop culture, game and nerdy references.

On the topic of references, the two thing on chapter 6 that you felt over the top are exactly that, references to over the top internet stuff. xD

The man in the fields is a direct Filthy Frank (may he rest in peace) reference. And the two men in town were a reference to enemy dialogue in Resident Evil 4.

Anyway, I do really appreciated your input and, again, I'll keep that in mind.
 
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BitterFrost

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Sep 28, 2017
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Yeah, the breaking fourth wall thing is way too over the top. Once for comic relief, great, I can live with that, got a chuckle out of it. Constantly? Just became obnoxious as hell. Glad to hear there's less of that going forward, only got a few days in so far.
 

Lykanz

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May 2, 2017
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Yeah, the breaking fourth wall thing is way too over the top. Once for comic relief, great, I can live with that, got a chuckle out of it. Constantly? Just became obnoxious as hell. Glad to hear there's less of that going forward, only got a few days in so far.
Yep, I admit I went overboard on the writer thing in day 3. :p

As I said, it gets toned down, he doesn't stop appearing tho, he'll still show up sometimes.

Anyway, in other news, I've just released a bugfix for the day 3 crash some people had.
 

Zippity

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Nov 16, 2017
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Thank you for your review and your rate, man!

Yeah, the whole writer thing wasn't well received by most people (mostly because of how heavy it was on days 3 and 4. It gets toned down as the story progress tho. He didn't show up at all on day 6.

As for the over the top characters and reactions... Well, that's the tone of the whole story. Sorry if it isn't the kind of humour you like.

And for Linda's over the top southern draw, that's kinda the point... Most, if not all characters on this story are stereotyped in a way or another.

All in all, thank you again for your review, and I'll keep your criticism in mind, as it was constructive and solid.

Have a good one!

EDIT: Just finished reading your review. I see your point and I'll try to keep that in mind, but I have some things to clear:

It's not that I don't take the story seriously, but more like the story doesn't take itself too seriously. It is a silly humour, with lots of pop culture, game and nerdy references.

On the topic of references, the two thing on chapter 6 that you felt over the top are exactly that, references to over the top internet stuff. XD

The man in the fields is a direct Filthy Frank (may he rest in peace) reference. And the two men in town were a reference to enemy dialogue in Resident Evil 4.

Anyway, I do really appreciated your input and, again, I'll keep that in mind.
No worries... As you are attempting to portray a lot of references that you have either experienced or find hilarious, I just hope you realize that most folks will not get those references... I surely didn't... There are moments when I thought it was a serious visual novel and then other moments when it just gets a bit silly, but not really the funny kind... With all the attempts at various references, that perhaps a lot of folks will never get, it will kind of push your project into a niche category, where only a few select folks will ever get all the references or find what you think as being funny to actually be funny... I'm guessing you're more of less designing the game more for your own entertainment, then for the entertainment of the majority of players... Which is not necessarily a bad thing... Do what you feel works for you... Personally I just felt the VN/Game as a whole felt a bit scatter brained at times... But that's just me...

Best of luck on your project...
 
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Cornfield

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I agree with those who dislike the Writer's interventions ", they are not at all funny, just cringeworthy.
The base of the story looks good and I will be interested to see how it develops.
 
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muttdoggy

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I like the dialogue between Linda and the MC. It feels authentic and has its moments. Just FYI to those reading.. I have lived in areas where they do have similar ways of talking and yeah it's almost on point. You have to get used to it and it's actually not hard to understand. And the "farmer's daughter's" stories are not that far off. :D
I did like the fourth wall silliness. It's a good idea to keep it up but maximize the effects. Your current plan with the Narrator is a good one. Like once or twice a day at the most, he can taunt the MC. x'D
Besides that, I love the way the models have their expressions done. Very good use of the Honey Select and the choice of engine couldn't be better. No bugs at all while playing. Good job on this one!
@Lykanz This game went waaay up on my list. I like it and I'll keep an eye on this one. You got yourself a fan. :eazyHype:
 
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Lykanz

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I like the dialogue between Linda and the MC. It feels authentic and has its moments. Just FYI to those reading.. I have lived in areas where they do have similar ways of talking and yeah it's almost on point. You have to get used to it and it's actually not hard to understand. And the "farmer's daughter's" stories are not that far off. :D
I did like the fourth wall silliness. It's a good idea to keep it up but maximize the effects. Your current plan with the Narrator is a good one. Like once or twice a day at the most, he can taunt the MC. x'D
Besides that, I love the way the models have their expressions done. Very good use of the Honey Select and the choice of engine couldn't be better. No bugs at all while playing. Good job on this one!
@Lykanz This game went waaay up on my list. I like it and I'll keep an eye on this one. You got yourself a fan. :eazyHype:
Thank you man. I'm really glad you enjoyed the game.

As I said before, Linda is one of my favorites (if not THE favorite) character in this story. I like her so much that I have to watch out to not get biased when writing her and the other girls.

I try to make the dialogue feel natural but silly. Linda's maneirisms are quite unique, and I owe a lot of that to a good friend of mine, he helps a lot proofreading Linda's lines and, being a southerner himself, adding his special touch.
 

Lykanz

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v0.02f1 Released for $5+ patrons!

5 more days until it goes public!
 

anne O'nymous

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And for Linda's over the top southern draw, that's kinda the point... Most, if not all characters on this story are stereotyped in a way or another.
That the characters are stereotyped, personally I don't care ; they can be their own caricature if they want. But one thing you must keep in mind is that less than 5% of the world is a native English speaker and only (around) 10% of the world can be described as fluent English reader.
When you start to express too hard an accent in your writing, you confuse all the others, who can (more or less) read and understand English but, are completely lost because they fail to recognize a word behind the letters you assembled. In fact, sometimes you probably also confuse people who are native English speakers, but never had to listen people talking with "this" accent and so aren't really sure of what they read.
Same thing when you use too localized expressions. If I started to say, to a girl, that "this night will be a blue night for you", whatever you can think it mean, I can assure you that you're wrong. So, even if in my mind what I want to express is clear, I'm sure that anyone who aren't from my country and at least around my age or older, will be completely lost.

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Sinndallas

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That the characters are stereotyped, personally I don't care ; they can be their own caricature if they want. But one thing you must keep in mind is that less than 5% of the world is a native English speaker and only (around) 10% of the world can be described as fluent English reader.....
Where in the world are you getting these figures from? I would honestly like to know because that doesn't match up with information I've seen before. Truly if you have a source for that I would be interested, as all information I've seen in regards to this has been at least twice the amount of what you're saying.

Semi-related:

While I understand what you are saying, I am going to have to disagree with you on whether you're confusing people or not. Being a native English speaker doesn't matter anywhere near as much as I believe you're crediting it to be. That is life. Just today I had a conversation in English, and I legitimately could not understand half of what the person was saying. I was still able to converse with them and we got out points across to one another but many of his words and spoken mannerisms meant nothing to me. I run into this every single day, and while it obviously isn't statistically or scientifically backed as I'm speaking from personal experience I would be willing to hazard a guess that within at least the English language, this is extremely common and a facet of life for anyone speaking English in the world.
 

anne O'nymous

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Where in the world are you getting these figures from? I would honestly like to know because that doesn't match up with information I've seen before. Truly if you have a source for that I would be interested, as all information I've seen in regards to this has been at least twice the amount of what you're saying.
"Approximately 330 to 360 million people speak English as their first language." , using "A History of the English language" (a 2006 publication from Cambridge University) as reference. We were 6.6 billions on Earth at this time and even if things have changed in 12 years, the rise in population actually happen outside of western's countries which tend to have a stable demographic curve. So the percent is still reliable ; It's perhaps 5.5% now, but well, lets say that I rounded it.
As for the 10% it's more a guess than anything else, since I didn't found information ; sorry, but babel isn't a reliable source, they are selling their products. But not a blind guess. The same Wikipedia page, using the same reference, state that : "Estimates that include second language speakers vary greatly, from 470 million to more than 1 billion. David Crystal calculates that, as of 2003, non-native speakers outnumbered native speakers by a ratio of 3 to 1."
Considering that only 1 out of 3 end being fluent in their second language seem right for me. Most of them learned it because it can be useful, but in the end don't really need to use it in their everyday life. There's few exceptions, like Nordic countries, where many peoples are fluent in more that two languages, but they tend to have a small population.
Note that this is true for English, and probably also French and Spanish, which are the most used languages all around the world, but obviously wrong for other languages because there's initially less people knowing them in your own country. You'll end using it, while for English (and French and Spanish), there's always someone who was in the company before you and are the one who will handle the English speaking ; especially since he know the people he will speak with, which isn't your case yet.


While I understand what you are saying, I am going to have to disagree with you on whether you're confusing people or not. Being a native English speaker doesn't matter anywhere near as much as I believe you're crediting it to be.
That was the meaning behind my, "in fact, sometimes you probably also confuse people who are native English speakers, but never had to listen people talking with "this" accent and so aren't really sure of what they read.".
I fully understand that being a native English speaker isn't enough and that a Canadian speaking to an Australian will have hard times to understand each other ; hell, sometimes I don't understand half what a guy living at 200km form me is saying, so two people from different countries... And inevitably, when these differences are translated in words, even native English speakers can be confused by the fact that the author suddenly use a Turkish word ("yer", thanks to google translate and @Lykanz I now know a Turkish word).


[...] while it obviously isn't statistically or scientifically backed as I'm speaking from personal experience I would be willing to hazard a guess that within at least the English language, this is extremely common and a facet of life for anyone speaking English in the world.
Which was my main point. Using English as language for a game is a necessity since it's a language you can expect to be spoken all around the world. But starting to write with an accent, or using localized phrasing, will mostly let you with only the people living in your country ; and still probably not all of them. This whatever it's an English speaking country or not. I can't imagine what English speakers, whatever native or not, would think reading a game wrote with the French accent.
 
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xןʞ

I trolled so N7 could soar.
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Yer is fucking hick talk, not meant to be foreign langauge lol.

Just wait until he starts busting out the actual southern words.
 
4.10 star(s) 109 Votes