VN Ren'Py Completed The Lawyer [Chapter 1-3 Final] [Taboo]

[Lac]

One more unfinished project. Devins Life now abandoned?

Nope. Taboo22 said in the Devin-threat that he is only taking a break from Devin.

Honestly i feel really ambivalent because i like to see the further demise of Devin but i also like to see how it goes with the lawyer. I have faith in this developer and his ideas.

 

[The 1★ Dude]

He also wrote it will be just a short game, but which "short" game have chapters?

 

[taboo22]

Hoping for a Mac link soon, thanks.

Here

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[moudy]

My problem is that she doesnt act like a top tier harvard lawyer when they cuff her. I mean sure, at first she will be enraged, but at the station she should be all rational and use arguments and ask what she is convicted for. But she acts like a 16 yrs old brat. All what happens in court is a pure shitshow too ... never will such a case happen that way. ^^
The story is way to absurd for me I guess. Every scene is cringy as hell. It pulls me out of immersion everytime. And the game started losing me after the "dentist" and lost me completely after the shopping. Unbearable for me, sorry.

I totally agree with this and I didn't even make it further than the hairdresser.

If you are going to base things around the Earths people, at least make it semi believable before the porn part comes.
This killed all interest for me once she got arrested. Every part of that, how she lost all her power and money, not even once being told what she was arrested for and going on trial in those clothing would never be even tried by police officers. And this always sits in the back of my head for every scene afterwards where I'm constantly thinking "This is so out of touch with reality that it's unbearable."

 

[Tabu9000]

Compare " The Lawyer bitch game" to Devine´s Life is like 1 Star to 5 Stars. This reminds me of a very bad story from " Alex Patreon Au pair innocence", not finish the first one and start a new one "very boring game".
I hope @taboo22 keep this in a "short story" as she said. Continue after the break with Devine and start a new " bitch game" with Triss or Yennefer. With one hit to swat 2 fly´s. He is great gamemaker, why not! As Triss and Yen already in the "HS gamecards"

 

[SrRK]

Alright... so here's some honest feedback about this game. Just finished the version:

First of all, it's not great, but it's not that bad either. I think the execution is just... off. First of all, the old fat lady is a major boner kill -- like, it would be much better if it was a man, or an at least average looking woman. I'm not immediately turned off by "heavy" women, either... but everything about her appearance and personality is just disgusting.

Second of all, there isn't enough structure in the story. It feels really sloppy, almost thrown together and incredibly rushed. It feels like there's zero substance involved in everything leading up to her being spanked or abused in some way- the buildup/plot is just fully neglected, which leaves no real "payoff" when she's humiliated.

I also noticed the humiliation and domination seems to be a bit... overkill. And I'm not talking about being offended or feeling bad about it. I'm talking about balance. Balance is incredibly important in domination, humiliation, and sadomasochism. There needs to be some kind of reward, some kind of pleasant middle ground that makes the dominant acts feel meaningful. Instead, we just get: MC pissed off > MC really pissed off > MC punished > MC pissed off > MC really pissed off > MC punished. It wouldn't be so bad if the chemistry between these two characters wasn't so... bad... or if the two characters weren't so linear and predictable.

There isn't any genuine development for either of these characters, meaning I don't really care about either one of them. In fact, I find them both genuinely and horribly dislikable, at best.

Let me put it this way: I'm intrigued enough to want to see where it goes and follow through to the end, but the general feeling I had throughout my entire playthrough was discomfort/annoyance. This is not a good feeling to have when playing a game that is supposed to be for entertainment. And this is coming from someone who is into horrendous shit, like... I'm as sadistic as they come, a dominant sadomasochist to the core. Coming full circle, I think the summary of the problem is execution, writing, and direction. None of it works as a standalone and it certainly doesn't blend well in the current story. The idea for this game isn't bad, it's actually a pretty good idea, it's just not executed good. It's very sloppy and feels... manic.

I'm not writing this to bash the developer by any means. In fact, I hope this feedback helps you in some way because I'm relieved to see developers in this genre who make content related to sadomasochism. I want you to succeed and do well in every game you put out there... but if I were the one in charge of this project? I'd probably either a) wrap it up as quickly as humanly possible, b) make some massive improvements and redo the first chapter or c) scrap it entirely. I unfortunately couldn't fap to this even if I tried...

To end on a lighter note, I really, really think the MC is hot. She's got the most perfect bratty but cute look about her. I also like the fact that you put the detail into her "spanking" scenes and left her with a marked up ass. Something about giving girls a burning red rump just gets me going. I thought the braces were a nice touth, I louth the facth thath sthe thpeaks like thith. I also really like the concept of this game, as I mentioned earlier. It's really not all that bad, I want to like it.

Sorry if this feedback comes off as harsh.

 

[Joe Steel]

I'll add to what SirDamned said: the only ways that this whole scenario works at all is (a) it is all a dream, (b) it takes place in some country like Saudi Arabia or Russia, where the rule of law is subject to political considerations, or (c) this is all an elaborate con that the MC is too dumb to see through. There is no way in a western country that a real trial would be held the day after arrest, or that the judge in such a trial would be the same judge that had heard the defendant in a case the day before, or that a defendant wouldn't be informed of the charges, or that the defendant wouldn't be able to hire a lawyer, etc, etc. The MC is a lawyer, and so presumably knows that the missing jury is a big clue that this isn't a legal trial, but she says nothing about it.

The key to fiction is to allow the audience suspension of disbelief, and that's impossible in this game. That's just sloppy writing.

Also, why is the main character "Emma Ross" to the game and even the judge, while side character "Susan" is just "Susan" to everyone, including the judge. It's a glaring and clearly deliberate difference, but I don't understand why it is so. That kind of mystery is distracting.

I was able to push through this story as far as the bank, but then my morale failed and I stopped playing and just looked through the images folder. The bright orange buttocks bit (that's not what spanking does - it turns the buttocks red, not orange, and the color isn't solid) where the color looks like it was applied with a household paint brush kinda made me glad I didn't spend more lifespan on this.

This story could, kinda, work if the trial was a con and the MC wasn't presented as this supergenius, but, rather, a somewhat dimwitted tool of the mob who was getting her comeuppance (maybe with the help of the mob, who want to get rid of her because she has served her purpose). The MC could be goaded by WW into representing herself in the trial (which couldn't, of course, occur the day after her arrest) so that she gets "convicted" and believes herself legitimately convicted. An important point would be that the prosecutor wouldn't be her "keeper;" that would never ever fly and even a dimwitted lawyer would know it. Emma's keeper doesn't have to be motivated by revenge; she could just be the person that the mob has arranged to break Emma so she'd never be believed by any authorities if she DID turn against the mob.

The author has skill, as we have seen before. He/she just needs to work out the story more credibly before starting the game-making process.

 

[NTR_Connoisseur]

Honestly I liked it. Only that the girls haircut can be changed to make it a little more appealing. Like she might hate short hair even though she looks good in it. Besides that, i loved the concept of this as it's very different from other games. Can't wait for more ! keep up the good work sir !

 

[fanboi]

OK made it to the end. Very nice! Not many games with this sort of plot, really like it. Emma is pretty resistant but it's early days, hopefully she will be made to know her place. I very much hope that we see the black officer again, she is just so cute :heartcoveredeyes: and Emma needs to respect her authority! Keep up the great work - can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[beijing999]

I'll add to what SirDamned said: the only ways that this whole scenario works at all is (a) it is all a dream, (b) it takes place in some country like Saudi Arabia or Russia, where the rule of law is subject to political considerations, or (c) this is all an elaborate con that the MC is too dumb to see through. There is no way in a western country that a real trial would be held the day after arrest, or that the judge in such a trial would be the same judge that had heard the defendant in a case the day before, or that a defendant wouldn't be informed of the charges, or that the defendant wouldn't be able to hire a lawyer, etc, etc. The MC is a lawyer, and so presumably knows that the missing jury is a big clue that this isn't a legal trial, but she says nothing about it.

The key to fiction is to allow the audience suspension of disbelief, and that's impossible in this game. That's just sloppy writing.

Also, why is the main character "Emma Ross" to the game and even the judge, while side character "Susan" is just "Susan" to everyone, including the judge. It's a glaring and clearly deliberate difference, but I don't understand why it is so. That kind of mystery is distracting.

I was able to push through this story as far as the bank, but then my morale failed and I stopped playing and just looked through the images folder. The bright orange buttocks bit (that's not what spanking does - it turns the buttocks red, not orange, and the color isn't solid) where the color looks like it was applied with a household paint brush kinda made me glad I didn't spend more lifespan on this.

This story could, kinda, work if the trial was a con and the MC wasn't presented as this supergenius, but, rather, a somewhat dimwitted tool of the mob who was getting her comeuppance (maybe with the help of the mob, who want to get rid of her because she has served her purpose). The MC could be goaded by WW into representing herself in the trial (which couldn't, of course, occur the day after her arrest) so that she gets "convicted" and believes herself legitimately convicted. An important point would be that the prosecutor wouldn't be her "keeper;" that would never ever fly and even a dimwitted lawyer would know it. Emma's keeper doesn't have to be motivated by revenge; she could just be the person that the mob has arranged to break Emma so she'd never be believed by any authorities if she DID turn against the mob.

The author has skill, as we have seen before. He/she just needs to work out the story more credibly before starting the game-making process.

Wow, b) where the rule of law is subject to political considerations ??? How said this The pope of Rome or D.Trump.
If you need education ask @Joe Steel to overview the world and porn games, works well togehter.

 

[SrRK]

I'll add to what SirDamned said: the only ways that this whole scenario works at all is (a) it is all a dream, (b) it takes place in some country like Saudi Arabia or Russia, where the rule of law is subject to political considerations, or (c) this is all an elaborate con that the MC is too dumb to see through. There is no way in a western country that a real trial would be held the day after arrest, or that the judge in such a trial would be the same judge that had heard the defendant in a case the day before, or that a defendant wouldn't be informed of the charges, or that the defendant wouldn't be able to hire a lawyer, etc, etc. The MC is a lawyer, and so presumably knows that the missing jury is a big clue that this isn't a legal trial, but she says nothing about it.

The key to fiction is to allow the audience suspension of disbelief, and that's impossible in this game. That's just sloppy writing.

Also, why is the main character "Emma Ross" to the game and even the judge, while side character "Susan" is just "Susan" to everyone, including the judge. It's a glaring and clearly deliberate difference, but I don't understand why it is so. That kind of mystery is distracting.

I was able to push through this story as far as the bank, but then my morale failed and I stopped playing and just looked through the images folder. The bright orange buttocks bit (that's not what spanking does - it turns the buttocks red, not orange, and the color isn't solid) where the color looks like it was applied with a household paint brush kinda made me glad I didn't spend more lifespan on this.

This story could, kinda, work if the trial was a con and the MC wasn't presented as this supergenius, but, rather, a somewhat dimwitted tool of the mob who was getting her comeuppance (maybe with the help of the mob, who want to get rid of her because she has served her purpose). The MC could be goaded by WW into representing herself in the trial (which couldn't, of course, occur the day after her arrest) so that she gets "convicted" and believes herself legitimately convicted. An important point would be that the prosecutor wouldn't be her "keeper;" that would never ever fly and even a dimwitted lawyer would know it. Emma's keeper doesn't have to be motivated by revenge; she could just be the person that the mob has arranged to break Emma so she'd never be believed by any authorities if she DID turn against the mob.

The author has skill, as we have seen before. He/she just needs to work out the story more credibly before starting the game-making process.

See, I don't really have a problem with the lack of realism, personally. I'm able to completely set aside any faculties for a game like this and just assume that a fictional porn game where the MC is a "Harvard lawyer" is going to have some obvious and glaring inconsistencies. Realism is important to me, but that's only when the story is trying to present itself as realistic. When it's self-aware and makes it known that it's purely fantasy, I have no problem with such plot-holes or imaginary scenarios. I knew right away that I wasn't going to be playing anything other than a comical sort of fantasy game, especially when I realized the MC was representing Walter White.

My beef with this game is that I just don't think the story is very entertaining or interesting, and that's not because of the lack of realism but rather just a general lack of substance and plot-thickness.

It's interesting to know that you have a problem with these things, though. Definitely valuable feedback. Something I'll keep in mind when I do more writing in my own game, though, it's something I'm already very conscious of.

 

[Darkarhon]

@TCMS testing testing

 

[Joe Steel]

Wow, b) where the rule of law is subject to political considerations ??? How said this The pope of Rome or D.Trump.
If you need education ask @Joe Steel to overview the world and porn games, works well togehter.

Does someone have a gibberish-to-English translator that works on this post? Mine just spews out more gibberish.

 

[Joe Steel]

See, I don't really have a problem with the lack of realism, personally. I'm able to completely set aside any faculties for a game like this and just assume that a fictional porn game where the MC is a "Harvard lawyer" is going to have some obvious and glaring inconsistencies. Realism is important to me, but that's only when the story is trying to present itself as realistic. When it's self-aware and makes it known that it's purely fantasy, I have no problem with such plot-holes or imaginary scenarios. I knew right away that I wasn't going to be playing anything other than a comical sort of fantasy game, especially when I realized the MC was representing Walter White.

My beef with this game is that I just don't think the story is very entertaining or interesting, and that's not because of the lack of realism but rather just a general lack of substance and plot-thickness.

It's interesting to know that you have a problem with these things, though. Definitely valuable feedback. Something I'll keep in mind when I do more writing in my own game, though, it's something I'm already very conscious of.

I don't think that "realism" is a very useful concept when it comes to fiction (games or other). Games can't be "realistic" because their very nature is artificial. What they CAN be is plausible and internally consistent. This game is neither. That it is also not realistic isn't a problem.

All fiction stands or falls first and foremost on the audience's ability to suspend disbelief. That requires some effort. Defenestration is a good example of this: it is set in the future of a country that ceased to exist almost 30 years ago, yet still allows for suspension of disbelief by using the language and symbols of that long-dead country. If its characters were named Susan, Brian, Don, and the like, it would ruin suspension of disbelief because those aren't names a future USSR's people would use. It's jarring to suspension of disbelief to have wildly inappropriate or illogical elements in a game. The audience WANTS to suspend disbelief but cannot because the author carelessly reminds them that this is just a story. When authors do this, they fail, IMO, even if the images are good, and even if this is a porn game.

 

[beijing999]

Does someone have a gibberish-to-English translator that works on this post? Mine just spews out more gibberish.

Every Russian and Saudi unterstand "The pope of Rome or D.Trump". For the rest you have a translater for your "gibberish judgement" of this game @SirDamned.

 

[beijing999]

I don't think that "realism" is a very useful concept when it comes to fiction (games or other). Games can't be "realistic" because their very nature is artificial. What they CAN be is plausible and internally consistent. This game is neither. That it is also not realistic isn't a problem.

All fiction stands or falls first and foremost on the audience's ability to suspend disbelief. That requires some effort. Defenestration is a good example of this: it is set in the future of a country that ceased to exist almost 30 years ago, yet still allows for suspension of disbelief by using the language and symbols of that long-dead country. If its characters were named Susan, Brian, Don, and the like, it would ruin suspension of disbelief because those aren't names a future USSR's people would use. It's jarring to suspension of disbelief to have wildly inappropriate or illogical elements in a game. The audience WANTS to suspend disbelief but cannot because the author carelessly reminds them that this is just a story. When authors do this, they fail, IMO, even if the images are good, and even if this is a porn game.

"The audience WANTS to suspend disbelief.....of porn-games. I ask my Doctor tomorrow !

 

[The 1★ Dude]

@taboo22 Change the genres. Rape, Bukkake, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Group Sex, are not even ingame -.-

 

[Albert_Scoot]

Kinda iffy on trying this one, not into hambeasts.

 

[Boobman4424]

rare that you get any choices at all

 

[evilgrim]

Just played this game , to be honest its not a bad game i have certainly played worse then this ...
maybe the game would be more interesting if it had more choices to make , without that many choices it just feels like a story rather than a game , maybe having the option that you give into the old bags ways would be good or just keep being rude all the time to get the spanking ...

Or the best bit would be we get to kill the old bag