- Thread starter sinichi1998
- Start date
- Jul 4, 2017
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Yeah, it's no problem - someone already pointed out above, and Mükemmel has confirmed, that the difference is not necessarily so obvious to a non-native English speaker.
If you want a game that treats the girls as love interests that get respect and autonomy, then change it to "women".
If you prefer to stick with a theme of objectifying and treating the girls as simple ona-holes who exist to be used to satify MC's lust, then "females" is perfect.
Anyway, good luck with your game
Hello.
The summary and the samples made me come. I wouldn't call it a game yet since it's very short and the choices are scarce.
The worldbuilding is very limited.
The characters are few and could have a better presentation.
The story is simple for now.
The photos are well chosen (Jordi seems to be pretty popular recently in real porn games).
As I was saying, it's really too short to have a good idea of where you want to go with your game. Though what is there is really good.
All the dialog boxes are a variation of pink. You should use different colors, particularly for important characters, otherwise it's confusing. And the more it's clear, the more your game will be pleasant.
The links are in very light grey and it's sometime difficult to see them. The idea to use a neutral color is good but you need to find a color more noticeable.
Just a reminder : the proper nouns require a capital letter at the beginning of their name.
Be careful with your english, there are still some spelling errors.
Good continuation.
The summary and the samples made me come. I wouldn't call it a game yet since it's very short and the choices are scarce.
The worldbuilding is very limited.
The characters are few and could have a better presentation.
The story is simple for now.
The photos are well chosen (Jordi seems to be pretty popular recently in real porn games).
As I was saying, it's really too short to have a good idea of where you want to go with your game. Though what is there is really good.
All the dialog boxes are a variation of pink. You should use different colors, particularly for important characters, otherwise it's confusing. And the more it's clear, the more your game will be pleasant.
The links are in very light grey and it's sometime difficult to see them. The idea to use a neutral color is good but you need to find a color more noticeable.
Just a reminder : the proper nouns require a capital letter at the beginning of their name.
Be careful with your english, there are still some spelling errors.
Good continuation.
Gonna be interesting to see how this holds up against games like Sluttown and Fairytale, GL Dev!!!
- Feb 17, 2019
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I like how 90% of the dialogue is using names from Family Guy. Did you just copy someone's shitty fanfiction and paste it into your game?
- Sep 16, 2018
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- Jun 6, 2017
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sinichi1998 the instagram picture doesn't pick the correct place, there seems to be a minor error in the address.
another one images/brandi/mis2.gif
another one images/brandi/mis2.gif
Last edited:
- Nov 18, 2016
- 4,554
- 11,097
sinichi1998 You should probably clarify future tags. (under dev notes is good).
And what tags you will/won't have, specifically these NTR/MMF/sharing/swinging etc.
As those one you really want to be upfront with including, because that will instantly turn certain people off your game, regardless of it being optional or not. (although... not being optional will turn a lot of people off... but that is fine since if it isn't optional they aren't the target audience anyway).
But yeah with NTR especially you want to clarify that now, so that you don't get any angry people who get surprised by it and such. (and given the desc... I suspect you will have that at some point... since MC is pretty much a waiting-to-be cucked type of character, but hey might be wrong).
Note: not in anyway telling you what content you should or shouldn't have in your game btw, just to jump in front of it and make it clear what kind of game it is going to be, so people who would hate it, simply don't play. (Less confusion the better basically).
Example (using random tags, since... well I dunno what you are going to do):
And what tags you will/won't have, specifically these NTR/MMF/sharing/swinging etc.
As those one you really want to be upfront with including, because that will instantly turn certain people off your game, regardless of it being optional or not. (although... not being optional will turn a lot of people off... but that is fine since if it isn't optional they aren't the target audience anyway).
But yeah with NTR especially you want to clarify that now, so that you don't get any angry people who get surprised by it and such. (and given the desc... I suspect you will have that at some point... since MC is pretty much a waiting-to-be cucked type of character, but hey might be wrong).
Note: not in anyway telling you what content you should or shouldn't have in your game btw, just to jump in front of it and make it clear what kind of game it is going to be, so people who would hate it, simply don't play. (Less confusion the better basically).
Example (using random tags, since... well I dunno what you are going to do):
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- Sep 16, 2018
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- Sep 16, 2018
- 138
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Hello.
What you added was good but be careful about what you chose as gif/photo. Miss Park is bonde so you shouldn't use brunette models (note, it was the other way around with mom shower scene with a blond model). The same with the MC, try at least not to choose a bald man. Your choices are hot but stay consistent as much as possible.
I'm more and more curious on how the brothers relationship will develop.
You've changed the color of the dialog boxes which is great and make things easier to follow. You didn't change the links though and it can be difficult to find them.
You've certainly made corrections but some are still present (capital letters at the start of a sentence or a first/last name, punctuation, the space between 2 words forgotten, the ' missing). Sorry, that makes me look like a teacher but everything is important.
There's an image missing if we "risk it" at the start of the game (cf files).
Good continuation.
What you added was good but be careful about what you chose as gif/photo. Miss Park is bonde so you shouldn't use brunette models (note, it was the other way around with mom shower scene with a blond model). The same with the MC, try at least not to choose a bald man. Your choices are hot but stay consistent as much as possible.
I'm more and more curious on how the brothers relationship will develop.
You've changed the color of the dialog boxes which is great and make things easier to follow. You didn't change the links though and it can be difficult to find them.
You've certainly made corrections but some are still present (capital letters at the start of a sentence or a first/last name, punctuation, the space between 2 words forgotten, the ' missing). Sorry, that makes me look like a teacher but everything is important.
There's an image missing if we "risk it" at the start of the game (cf files).
Good continuation.
- Sep 16, 2018
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i dont know how to port it to android , ill google it and convert if possible .
- Sep 16, 2018
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Thank you for the feedback !! Ill correct the links in the next release , The gifs bother me too. but its very hard to find the correct ones , ill try to keep them consistent .The grammatical mistakes will also be corrected in the next one as a proofreader SayAlex has been super generous in helping me .
- Sep 16, 2018
- 138
- 182