I-Love-Adventure
Engaged Member
- Feb 16, 2019
- 3,134
- 1,253
DIRTY FILTHY Animal
Devoted Member
- Jun 11, 2020
- 9,780
- 33,823
I liked the update, but you had to fantasize about Dave to get more content, otherwise its just boyfriend in stall with her and no remote vibrator, looks like dave might even get a piece of Ava too, i could see him blackmailing Gail about her job unless she delivers ava to him maybe a 3some with them, would rather have seen Gail fool around with Noah in the bathroom, he could have caught her in there while she was taking naked selfies and she have to blow him not to tell boyfriend.
also the fantasy scene should have more options than just dave (dont want every scene to just be with him) maybe Theo or the janitor or landlord.
My only complaint is not adding the ability to name relationships. Don't need a patch, and I know of a lot of devs that add that function as an easy work around from your Patreon overlords.
The rim job was a nice touch, but I would have expected a little more disgust or a little force to get here to do it. I also expected him to have her keep some cum in her mouth to kiss her boyfriend with, but that may be pushing her too far too soon, that should be saved for later on I guess. Keep up the good work, just wish it didn't take so long between updates.
Huldrafolk
Member
- Jul 20, 2017
- 383
- 582
DamagedCoda
Traceback error when in the theater after the line do it for me.
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While processing text tag {/b} in u'*{/b}{/i}Satisfy him{/b}{/i}*{vspace=5}{i}{color=#80ccff}{size=25}Nathan +1{/color}{/size}{/i}'.:
File "game/script.rpy", line 6169, in script
menu:
Exception: u'/b' closes a text tag that isn't open.
Traceback error when in the theater after the line do it for me.
I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.
While processing text tag {/b} in u'*{/b}{/i}Satisfy him{/b}{/i}*{vspace=5}{i}{color=#80ccff}{size=25}Nathan +1{/color}{/size}{/i}'.:
File "game/script.rpy", line 6169, in script
menu:
Exception: u'/b' closes a text tag that isn't open.
I set Noah's relationship to gay friend for Gail and Ava. Boyfriend had 5 points sister 2 points and Kat 3 points 0 corruption 16 loving girlfriend 5 lesbian. I was hoping there would of been more content with Kat the hot ass cashier.
red_faced
2 scenes with FF.
red_faced
2 scenes with FF.
The renders in this game are phenomenal, and the update was great, although it felt a bit short considering the length of time since the last update.
My main critique would be, what is up with the writing???
I hope you don't take offense to this, but based on the many spelling and grammatical errors it seems like you're not a native English speaker, which is fine, just get some help from an editor. But on top of that the writing is so overly complicated that it feels like a thesaurus vomited all over the screen.
Here's an example from the new update:
*He didn't just stop there. Further taking it down to her clit. Dolphin-slippery, less wet than rather deliciously mucilaginous, and tasting of Amontillado*
What does that even mean? Did you compare her clit to dolphin skin? And "mucilaginous"? I actually had to look this word up, and it means having a viscous or gelatinous consistency. That's what her pussy is leaking? Dave better back up cause it sounds like Gail has a serious infection.
When you write like this, all it accomplishes is irritating the reader because it feels like you're unnecessarily complicating things. Just follow the KISS rule, i.e., Keep It Simple Stupid.
I would have written the description like this:
*Dave quickly dropped to his knees and found himself facing Gail's drenched pussy. He began to lap up the sweet nectar pouring out of her before turning his attention to her clit. As Dave worked his tongue over the sensitive nub, Gail pinched her right nipple and moaned in delight."
I'm no writer, but that feels more understandable and relevant to the image it accompanies.
Just my two cents.
My main critique would be, what is up with the writing???
I hope you don't take offense to this, but based on the many spelling and grammatical errors it seems like you're not a native English speaker, which is fine, just get some help from an editor. But on top of that the writing is so overly complicated that it feels like a thesaurus vomited all over the screen.
Here's an example from the new update:
*He didn't just stop there. Further taking it down to her clit. Dolphin-slippery, less wet than rather deliciously mucilaginous, and tasting of Amontillado*
What does that even mean? Did you compare her clit to dolphin skin? And "mucilaginous"? I actually had to look this word up, and it means having a viscous or gelatinous consistency. That's what her pussy is leaking? Dave better back up cause it sounds like Gail has a serious infection.
When you write like this, all it accomplishes is irritating the reader because it feels like you're unnecessarily complicating things. Just follow the KISS rule, i.e., Keep It Simple Stupid.
I would have written the description like this:
*Dave quickly dropped to his knees and found himself facing Gail's drenched pussy. He began to lap up the sweet nectar pouring out of her before turning his attention to her clit. As Dave worked his tongue over the sensitive nub, Gail pinched her right nipple and moaned in delight."
I'm no writer, but that feels more understandable and relevant to the image it accompanies.
Just my two cents.
Yuri_Boyka666
Member
- Apr 10, 2020
- 101
- 280
Man ! I was also having bad time understanding this scene .... lmao you put it exactly how I felt ... I wanna know who wrote those lines
Roy26633356
Member
- May 16, 2020
- 419
- 2,414
I hope Devs add animated french kiss and drooling after kissing to some netori(especially noah) guys. Hot plot: Maria and noah are french kissing then The boyfriend come to interrupt, and the BF point of view only find maria and noah just sitting together, but the true point of view they have drool connected to each other mouth, it just too thin to see
also hope u can add animation for Dave 1st scene and the continous scenes
also hope u can add animation for Dave 1st scene and the continous scenes
FlavourGirlsEvil
Newbie
- Jun 19, 2021
- 60
- 64
Vyacheslav Grinko
Active Member
- Nov 9, 2018
- 595
- 636
Yes my friend this game has choices that you need to explore each one because it can lead to an different outcome in the scene and that is what i like about this game so i advise you to quicksave and try all the options have fun !!!!
FlavourGirlsEvil
Newbie
- Jun 19, 2021
- 60
- 64