I recently tried “Simp for Myron,” oh sorry "the promise" and I must say, it was quite the experience—though not in the way I’d hoped. Let’s start with the graphics. They’re…average at best. You know when you fire up a game and get that wave of excitement over beautiful visuals? Yeah, that didn’t happen here. The art feels a bit stale and uninspired, overshadowed by the characters that look almost like placeholders more than anything else.
Now, as for the storyline, nearly every turn of events felt cringeworthy. We follow our mid-aged, beleaguered protagonist—a character so forgettable that I genuinely struggled to empathize with him. I mean, I get it; he’s supposed to be a “simp,” but do we really need to go through such a convoluted plot involving an unattractive wife and a stepdaughter who ends up being tossed at Myron—yes, the neighborhood douchebag?! Honestly, talk about a disappointing arc. The gameplay does little to allow any kind of freedom of choice either; almost every time I made a decision, it felt inconsequential. There’s one option and if you pick wrong, enjoy failing your way down a linear path. Was it supposed to be innovative? I can’t tell.
Let’s not even get into the grind. Oh boy, the grind! The sheer repetition soon took on a Sisyphean quality; I’d slog through hours of mind-numbing tasks for the privilege of gifting my hard-earned progress to Myron. Violently zero sense of reward. Everything boiled down to feeling more like an endless cycle designed purely to extract cash rather than create a compelling narrative.
Here’s my advice: try the game if you must, but approach it more as a critique journal entry than an immersive story experience. Something akin to playing a game and then writing about it to potentially warn others who are looking for something substantial. Personally? It was a hard pass for me. I hardly disliked the characters, the mechanics, and pretty much every element, which made me question why I even pressed through to the end.
So if you ever find yourself curious about “Simp for Myron,” tread cautiously—it might just disappoint as much as it did for me.
Now, as for the storyline, nearly every turn of events felt cringeworthy. We follow our mid-aged, beleaguered protagonist—a character so forgettable that I genuinely struggled to empathize with him. I mean, I get it; he’s supposed to be a “simp,” but do we really need to go through such a convoluted plot involving an unattractive wife and a stepdaughter who ends up being tossed at Myron—yes, the neighborhood douchebag?! Honestly, talk about a disappointing arc. The gameplay does little to allow any kind of freedom of choice either; almost every time I made a decision, it felt inconsequential. There’s one option and if you pick wrong, enjoy failing your way down a linear path. Was it supposed to be innovative? I can’t tell.
Let’s not even get into the grind. Oh boy, the grind! The sheer repetition soon took on a Sisyphean quality; I’d slog through hours of mind-numbing tasks for the privilege of gifting my hard-earned progress to Myron. Violently zero sense of reward. Everything boiled down to feeling more like an endless cycle designed purely to extract cash rather than create a compelling narrative.
Here’s my advice: try the game if you must, but approach it more as a critique journal entry than an immersive story experience. Something akin to playing a game and then writing about it to potentially warn others who are looking for something substantial. Personally? It was a hard pass for me. I hardly disliked the characters, the mechanics, and pretty much every element, which made me question why I even pressed through to the end.
So if you ever find yourself curious about “Simp for Myron,” tread cautiously—it might just disappoint as much as it did for me.