Wex

New Member
Mar 8, 2017
8
4
#21
I don't like shaming anyone for poor english, but if you want to make a game and you're too lazy to run shit through a spellcheck... Well, I don't know what to tell you.
If you as a gamer trying free incomplete games can't be bothered to read dev notes before trying new games... Well, I do know what to tell you, but I'll refrain and I'm sure you know what it is.
If you have nothing constructive to add, save it.

For the moment, I would say there is too much emphasis on porn vids, memes and movies for the first night. I would like to see some more fleshing out of the story. Yes I know this is only the beinning, but the whole,"Oh you find a glowing stone that bonds to you and then you start right away getting mind control powers..." Imo you're going a bit too fast; I hope you take your time to write a good story even if English isn't your first language. GL with the project, I believe it has potential and don't mind the haters too much, there will always be some.
 
Mar 23, 2018
77
40
#22
If you as a gamer trying free incomplete games can't be bothered to read dev notes before trying new games... Well, I do know what to tell you, but I'll refrain and I'm sure you know what it is.
If you have nothing constructive to add, save it.

For the moment, I would say there is too much emphasis on porn vids, memes and movies for the first night. I would like to see some more fleshing out of the story. Yes I know this is only the beinning, but the whole,"Oh you find a glowing stone that bonds to you and then you start right away getting mind control powers..." Imo you're going a bit too fast; I hope you take your time to write a good story even if English isn't your first language. GL with the project, I believe it has potential and don't mind the haters too much, there will always be some.
It's all fine. Yeah, it will be a slower game not like the Next day you can fuck your family and go to all the other ppl you met and fuck. I am aiming at an in-game time of around 2 Weeks for the Mother and Sister. I am currently working on basic things like Time mechanics.
 

LordCorwin

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 18, 2017
181
221
#23
An interesting start, seems like there's going to be mind control abilities. Though it felt like the guy knew immediately about those abilities, as if he always knew he could tell women to expose their breasts.

There should be some accidental manner in which the protagonist discovers his powers, instead of him simply being like "hey, I can influence minds now, cool!" For example, that scene with the taxi driver, she could notice he's not having a great day so far and ask him about it off-hand like "Day not going well for you sir?" and there could be some back and forth until he makes a crude joke like "Only way this day could get better for me right now, is if some girl showed me her tits." It's a bit dumb, but I believe it to be better than how he just tells her to expose herself as if he knew she'd do it.

Then again, maybe that's a part of a story behind the power acquisition.

It does seem that he's not OP with the powers straight off the bat, which is good, the guy has a whole town to experiment upon, he should be able to train and level up his power.
 
Mar 23, 2018
77
40
#24
An interesting start, seems like there's going to be mind control abilities. Though it felt like the guy knew immediately about those abilities, as if he always knew he could tell women to expose their breasts.

There should be some accidental manner in which the protagonist discovers his powers, instead of him simply being like "hey, I can influence minds now, cool!" For example, that scene with the taxi driver, she could notice he's not having a great day so far and ask him about it off-hand like "Day not going well for you sir?" and there could be some back and forth until he makes a crude joke like "Only way this day could get better for me right now, is if some girl showed me her tits." It's a bit dumb, but I believe it to be better than how he just tells her to expose herself as if he knew she'd do it.

Then again, maybe that's a part of a story behind the power acquisition.

It does seem that he's not OP with the powers straight off the bat, which is good, the guy has a whole town to experiment upon, he should be able to train and level up his power.
That's a good idea, mind if I steal it? :D. The thing is that I am writing a Story and Programming for the first time. I try my best to write a good believable story. Maybe with some help, tips, and tricks from the Comunity, it will be a fun one.
 
Aug 15, 2018
15
14
#25
If you as a gamer trying free incomplete games can't be bothered to read dev notes before trying new games... Well, I do know what to tell you, but I'll refrain and I'm sure you know what it is.
If you have nothing constructive to add, save it.
Being a first game is no excuse not to do some quick proofreading. Not using English as first language isn't one either. In fact, not being fluent in English should encourage developers to proofread their stuff before getting it out in a hurry.
You're actively sabotaging your own game by not caring about these sort of things. It will be much harder to get people who disliked this first version to give the game another go in the future.

Edit: In any case, I apologize to the dev if I was too harsh. If you want some advice, I know it's tempting to get stuff out and get feedback from the community. Refrain from doing that. Next time you code another day into the game and you feel you should update it, don't. Find a couple of beta testers, hand your game out to them, and test the game yourself.
Read through the whole game as if it's through someone else's eyes. Time out long it takes for you to run through. People won't give much thought to your game if it takes them 1 minute to finish it.
 

Wex

New Member
Mar 8, 2017
8
4
#26
Being a first game is no excuse not to do some quick proofreading. Not using English as first language isn't one either. In fact, not being fluent in English should encourage developers to proofread their stuff before getting it out in a hurry.
You're actively sabotaging your own game by not caring about these sort of things. It will be much harder to get people who disliked this first version to give the game another go in the future.
No, but it's certainly valid reason not to hear from a pompous teenager with no empathy. I'm guessing from your retort that you live in a mostly anglophone country, because if you didn't you would know that finding that native English speaker like you say is not that easy, secondly putting your work out there to be judged by others can be nerve racking, especially when there are people like you have a baseball bat approach to commenting.
How about I give you some mature advice; put yourself in the other person's shoes before you spew your crap, and don't ask if he wants some advice, that's the very reason he posted this beta and wrote he wanted help, and don't tell him to get beta testers; that's kind of the point of posting your game on this part of the forum. If you want a complete game go to the completed games section, then you won't have to beta test. You're also assuming he didn't reread his game; have you thought that maybe he's read it so many times that he can't see the mistakes anymore and needs a pair of fresh eyes?
I wouldn't want to call you names, but your behavior seriously pisses me off. We need people who do constructive criticism on this forum. That means play the game, play it a second time even a third, sleep on it and then with a cool head and having thought of why you liked or disliked the game give an honest answer with what you think would be a possible solution. Though your reply was an improvement on the first it is still seriously lacking and still fails at a minimum level of decency.
 
Likes: Sanito
Aug 15, 2018
15
14
#27
No, but it's certainly valid reason not to hear from a pompous teenager with no empathy. I'm guessing from your retort that you live in a mostly anglophone country,
Wrong and wrong. But nice try though.
As for the baseball bat approach, you're one to talk. "I wouldn't want to call you names" ? For real? Anyway, I'm done. Not really in the mood to be antagonized by a pompous teenager. Buh bye.
 

Wex

New Member
Mar 8, 2017
8
4
#28
Wrong and wrong. But nice try though.
As for the baseball bat approach, you're one to talk. "I wouldn't want to call you names" ? For real? Anyway, I'm done. Not really in the mood to be antagonized by a pompous teenager. Buh bye.
Let's break this down this passive aggressive reply.
Laughable, nothing to say nothing to add, a classic I didn't want it anyways excuse. Guess I hit the nail on head so hard you didn't have anywhere left to go.
Don't be antagonized my young friend, prove me I'm wrong. After all, I really didn't call you names unless pompous teenager ruffled your feathers, but calling McDonalds McDonalds is not calling names. Should I have used self-entitled immature young man; after all I'm not the one called the, "Instig8r"? Would that have made you feel better?
And to address your reply to baseball bats; my friend if you live by the sword, you die by the sword! If you can't take the heat then please step out of the frying pan and avoid the fire on your way out.
Now you're free to reply, I'm always up for a good debate, but please make it worth my while.
Till you actually have something worth while to say.
 

LordCorwin

Active Member
Game Developer
Dec 18, 2017
181
221
#29
That's a good idea, mind if I steal it? :D. The thing is that I am writing a Story and Programming for the first time. I try my best to write a good believable story. Maybe with some help, tips, and tricks from the Comunity, it will be a fun one.
Feel free, I'm just an ideas guy.
 
Nov 18, 2017
23
7
#30
View attachment 241437

Overview:
You are a 25 year old man. You have just completed your studies (art) successfully. Unfortunately, you have not found a job and therefore have to move back to your mother and sister.​

Thread Updated: 2019-02-08
Release Date: 2019-02-08
Developer: Gromo
Censored: No
Version: Intro
OS: Windows
Language: English
Genre:
Real Porn, Text based, Animated, Incest, Male protagonist, Voyeurism, Anal sex, Vaginal sex, Oral sex, Lesbian, Group sex, Sex toys, MILF, Multiple penetration, Paranormal

Installation:
1. Extract and run.

Changelog:
Intro version

Developer Notes:
This is my first time programming and writing. English is not my first language. I would like tips and help from all sites mostly Typos and grammar

DOWNLOAD
Win: - -


View attachment 241473 View attachment 241472 View attachment 241474 View attachment 241475
Has potential, we shell see where it go's from here. still a tad early.
Agree. Upfront it's stated English not first language but I have seen a lot worse. Hoping they stick with it and flesh it out considering its developer's first game.
 
Aug 15, 2018
15
14
#31
Let's break this down this passive aggressive reply.
Laughable, nothing to say nothing to add, a classic I didn't want it anyways excuse. Guess I hit the nail on head so hard you didn't have anywhere left to go.
Don't be antagonized my young friend, prove me I'm wrong. After all, I really didn't call you names unless pompous teenager ruffled your feathers, but calling McDonalds McDonalds is not calling names. Should I have used self-entitled immature young man; after all I'm not the one called the, "Instig8r"? Would that have made you feel better?
And to address your reply to baseball bats; my friend if you live by the sword, you die by the sword! If you can't take the heat then please step out of the frying pan and avoid the fire on your way out.
Now you're free to reply, I'm always up for a good debate, but please make it worth my while.
Till you actually have something worth while to say.
Dude, all you do is hijack OPs thread talking some bullshit about living and dying by the sword. Are you fucking twelve? Don't mistake not knowing how to reply with the fact that I just don't care enough about you to keep feeding your insufferable ego.

Op uploaded a game. It has awful english. I was harsh? Yeah. Will it motivate OP to try and improve it? I don't know, we'll see when he uploads a new version.
In a few months I'll upload something too. You and op can feel free to shit on it if you want. No big deal. I just hope I don't have anyone hijacking my thread and making all about some uncalled for campaign to defend me.
 
Mar 23, 2018
77
40
#32
Guys, I need some response, I am in a little trouble. I don't know how to deal with the Men in the Game. Because it will raise some suspicion if a lot of girls behave differently and all will have an affection for that one Guy. am I later in the game strong enough to transform them into girls too?! If yes, will it not raise suspicion in ppl, who are not under your control? I have no idea how to approach it. I just want it believable as possible(except the Magic part). maybe you can transform someone and everyone thinks he was always like this is it not too much Power for 1 Person who learned magic in like 1 Month without help?
 

Wex

New Member
Mar 8, 2017
8
4
#33
Guys, I need some response, I am in a little trouble. I don't know how to deal with the Men in the Game. Because it will raise some suspicion if a lot of girls behave differently and all will have an affection for that one Guy. am I later in the game strong enough to transform them into girls too?! If yes, will it not raise suspicion in ppl, who are not under your control? I have no idea how to approach it. I just want it believable as possible(except the Magic part). maybe you can transform someone and everyone thinks he was always like this is it not too much Power for 1 Person who learned magic in like 1 Month without help?
It depends how fast you do it Gromo and from where the character starts. I mean, I don't see too many guys wondering why half the female population swoon over George Clooney for example. Add a bit of back story, for example we're moving back with our mother and sis, but maybe they moved to a different town while we gone on our studies and we're the new flavor in town for the girls.
The stone could have given us a way of influencing male behavior before female behavior, or simply put, men who stand close to us see us as non-threatening and become oblivious to our interactions with female characters.

Dude, all you do is hijack OPs thread talking some bullshit about living and dying by the sword. Are you fucking twelve? Don't mistake not knowing how to reply with the fact that I just don't care enough about you to keep feeding your insufferable ego.
If only that were true, and yet you keep replying... I believe you should consult; that's what shrinks are for. I'm sure any of them could help you with your projection issues as well as you help you progress in your quest for life enrichment or maturity.

Op uploaded a game. It has awful english. I was harsh? Yeah. Will it motivate OP to try and improve it? I don't know, we'll see when he uploads a new version.
Here's a little wisdom for you, you attract more bees with honey than with shit. How is non-constructive criticism ever helpful or needed. Here let's see if this helps you, your opinion is crap, you have shitty morals, how about you not bother giving your opinion unless I give it to you since we already know yours won't be useful... I do wish you'd understand the fundamental flaw with your reasoning, but you just keeping digging that hole you got yourself into. Keep digging I guess, you're bound to exit somewhere.

In a few months I'll upload something too. You and op can feel free to shit on it if you want. No big deal. I just hope I don't have anyone hijacking my thread and making all about some uncalled for campaign to defend me.
See this is another thing, you don't like the taste of your own medicine. I'm not protecting the OP, I'm trying to change your shitty reasoning so that future crapping may be averted. This is a public service Intig8r. As for your claims of hijacking, yes partially, I believe we're both responsible. Takes two tango last time I checked
As for your upload I can't wait to review it and give you an impartial opinion of it. I promise to be fair. If you want to bet on it, just send me pm letting me know it's done and I promise to be fair. If you have any balls though I'd love to see you upload in a language other than English and see how others view it.

Let me throw you an olive branch for OPs sake. Let's say I was wrong and you aren't a pompous self-entitled teenager, would you be willing to concede that your original comments lacked in decency and weren't helpful and that had you received them you would have disregarded them altogether?
 

Sanito

Active Member
Jul 15, 2017
122
27
#35
Okay, so as expected there's not a lot of game here yet. Your sister going into the bathroom in lingerie is a bit silly, but it's a porn game, so whatever. IMO, you should more gradually build up to her being sexy around you. Like take out the walking in on her masturbating bit and replace the walking into the bathroom image with one where she's like in a towel. Later in the story when you've corrupted her, she walks around in lingerie and openly masturbates around the house.

The engrish is not as bad as some of the games on this site (Looking at you Corruption and others), but the dialogue and writing is currently pretty weak. Wex has kind of touched on it, but right now, it's like "SUDDENLY A MAGIC STONE HITS YOU OUT OF NOWHERE AND YOU HAVE MAGIC" and you instantly just seem to know how to use it. That doesn't leave you a lot of room to grow your powers or anything. I'd agree with his suggestion, where an offhand comment to a girl causes her to do something you said unexpectedly. Maybe a bit better way to find the stone than just MAGIC STONE FLIES AT YOU. Perhaps our character is an urban explorer and goes into some ruined building in town and finds the stone. The text mentions it's a bad part of town, why did we go there then?
 
Mar 23, 2018
77
40
#39
Can't tell yet, have to rewrite the intro and make a more believable. Probably changing the complete thing to Twine 2 instead of Twine 1. But I have some time this Month so maybe.
 
Aug 27, 2018
98
34
#40
Guys, I need some response, I am in a little trouble. I don't know how to deal with the Men in the Game. Because it will raise some suspicion if a lot of girls behave differently and all will have an affection for that one Guy. am I later in the game strong enough to transform them into girls too?! If yes, will it not raise suspicion in ppl, who are not under your control? I have no idea how to approach it. I just want it believable as possible(except the Magic part). maybe you can transform someone and everyone thinks he was always like this is it not too much Power for 1 Person who learned magic in like 1 Month without help?
Also depends on how the powers work. Powers could have a "normalizing" property, where whenever you use them everyone views it as completely normal. That would allow for lots of public fun without having to jump through hoops. Or you can specifically not go that way and make not drawing attention part of the game. I personally like the first one, but it's your game.