Personally I think the story has a few things to fix.
First of all, as someone has already pointed out, it is never wise to use a main character who seems completely at the mercy of events, it doesn't help immersion and empathy.
Secondly, there is a slightly too extensive use of "mystery", at the moment everything is too evanescent, it is not possible to understand what this story wants to be.
The same can be said for the adult part, the sexual encounters don't seem to have much construction and the game doesn't seem to focus on specific kinks.
The project, overall, is not bad at all but it is like a white label product that has not yet received its brand.